let me know what you think guys. Thanks

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Oct 20, 2003
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I work in the auto industry, and most of the guys i work with have that " im cool wise guy attitude " But thats just not me. Im 6'2 270 lbs and i dont have to try to have that whole tough guy / wise guy attitude. Basicly im a nice guy, and when people are talking i take interest. Here is my question, and let me know what you think. Can being NICE be mistaken as a sign of weakness????? I ask this because in relationships at work i kind of have the lower hand and get ripped on some times. Funny thing is with educated "normal people "i never have this trouble. Maybe its just if you want to deal with wise ass's you have to be a wise ass. Any ideas????
 

Tok

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Jul 16, 2003
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Sad fact, my experience is that sometimes if you are being too nice, people will look down on you. What happen to people these days? :thumbdn:
 
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Oct 30, 2005
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Yep, being "nice" is often taken as a sign of weakness.

Then, too, some social groups have an anti-education prejudice. Can't neccessarily blame them, work for/with "normal" people long enough and you'll see that intelligence does not equate to smart.
 

Tok

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Jul 16, 2003
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orthogonal1 said:
Yep, being "nice" is often taken as a sign of weakness.

Then, too, some social groups have an anti-education prejudice. Can't neccessarily blame them, work for/with "normal" people long enough and you'll see that intelligence does not equate to smart.

Yup. sigh..........
 
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May 24, 2005
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I'm also a big "nice" guy.6'2'' 245 lbs.People assume that because I don't talk smack to everyone and I'm polite that I'm some sort of pushover.
I just don't have anything to prove.
A few have found out the hard way that I'm not nice all the time.my father told me "don't go looking for trouble,But don't look away from it either" That's some good medicine.
 
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Oct 2, 2002
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I can't say for sure. To most people Im one of the nicest guys in the world. For my friends Id do anything. I treat people with respect Im a please and thank you person, I was raised that way and Im proud of it. Its actually gotten me a lot in my life. Part of the problem I notice is that at 6 foot 3 inches 205 pounds people tend to take the, hey hes big so if I can look cool or tough at his expense then people will really believe me. Ive seen it all my life as my dad is much bigger than I at 6 foot 5 inches and around 300 pounds. Ive noticed that he tends to let his size do the talking and no one messes with him. My size doesnt command the respect his does, but I have a sharp tongue and a quick witt. When I talk Im correct or I keep my mouth shut. Treating people with respect earns you respect, but you also have to demand it. Much of my life I was stooped shouldered I guess I didnt know how to carry my height. But if you stand up straight and keep your shoulders broad, people will look up at you and that will make them respect you without knowing it. Carry yourself like you deserve respect and command it. Sometimes you have to put people in their place when they dont respect you. Verbally or pysically as the situation demands. But if you treat other people with respect, and look like you deserve theirs you dont find yourself in those situations as much. Then again, every jerk in the bar likes to pick on the biggest guy in the room so heads up for that I guess. Anyway just to make a point, next time a wiseass at work is doing something dumb, show him the right way, and when it works and its easier and everyone sees, he'll take notice. After some time, see if its not you they are coming too to get help.
 
Joined
Feb 27, 2001
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Interesting question Dr. Sharp.

I would have to say that it is probably more the attitude and immaturity of your co-workers than anything with yourself. The biggest issue is that you have to remain true to yourself. You should not change who you are or your moral compass because some wise guys at work cut up on you. If it really bothers you ..dont eat their crap but confront them and tell them. But do not change who you are because of some retards.

You are who you are for a reason. Your personality is a gift and is something special. The guys who have to " act tough and cool" are the ones who are immature and insecure in their manhood. Pay them no mind...

good luck..
 
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Feb 11, 2005
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Hi Dr nice guy, basically you and i have the same problem. I am nice too, no attitude because due to my bodyposture i don't have to act tough to look tough. My advise is that you don't worry, and stay yourself. DON'T try to copy their posture because it will be obvious and fake. Just stay true to yourself, keep it real .
 
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Oct 2, 2004
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Unfortunatly it is seen as a weakness to be nice in some places. For 25 years I was a machinist, and I worked in three different shops in the course of that. In all three places most of the guys were decent folks. But there was allways a few in each place that were either the schemer, or the one trying to be the workplace bully. I've had to deal with either, and I don't think size matters because I'm only 5'9" and 160lbs.

I think sometimes if they see you as "nice" they try to get over on you and see how far they can push things. There was this guy Blair at on place I worked at for 18 years, and over that time we had quite a few run ins. He was bigger than me and from the day I came to work there he would push it. About once a year it got to the point I would have to tell him that we both walk out the same door at 4 o'clock and if he has a problem we'll settle it outside. Then he would back off for another six months.

It's just too bad there are those kind of people in the world, but I found out the best way to be at a job is a little aloof, and totally professional, and be very carefull who you are friendly to.
 
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Jun 16, 2005
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My partner at work is originally from NC and has never lost the open friendly manner in which he was raised. He is over 60, and when dealing with his subordinates, especially the younger officers, I have seen him taken advantage of, and abused, due to their perception that nice = weakness in leadership. After an officer unloaded on him during a recent disciplinary counseling session, he remarked himself that he was to nice for his own good. I am 6' 275, and if my hair was white, instead of graying, I'd look like Santa, if Santa came from hell. I am friendly, but remain somewhat aloof at work. Our client uses this to their advantage, if someone is distraught, my partner goes in as lead. His open friendly manner often helps calm them down. When someone is hostile, I go as lead, and dominate the environment. This is often enough on the job, as I've only had to subdue someone physically, just twice in 23 years of providing protective services. Nice can be an advantage, or it can be taken advantage of.
 
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