Loan money to friend Y/N? (A Poll)

Loan him the money?

  • Yes, loan him.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, don't loan him the money.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    0
  • Poll closed .
DaveH

DaveH

Joined
Dec 2, 1999
Messages
12,249
OK so we loaned a friend $5K because he switched jobs and we wanted him to succeed. So short story is he switched jobs back and his repayment is on hold for the second month, OK we can live with that. I think he wants to pay us back, but my gut is prospects may not be that good.

So now his ex is putting the screws on him and he can't see his son, the lawyer wants $2500 to get started. He asked us for it, I told him we'd have to think about it.

What do you think?+
 
Absolutely freaken not, it does not matter how close a friend or relative, sooner or later you have to stop being their cash cow. Come up with something like how the economy is effecting you and this is a bad time. This advise comes from one that has been down that road $$$$thousands of times.
 
DaveinNY said:
Absolutely freaken not, it does not matter how close a friend or relative, sooner or later you have to stop being their cash cow. Come up with something like how the economy is effecting you and this is a bad time. This advise comes from one that has been down that road $$$$thousands of times.
Click to expand...

x 2

Don't do it.
 
If you can afford to not get that money back, then go ahead and lend it to him. I'm not saying he won't pay you back but simply suggesting a rule of thumb I've heard elsewhere; Don't lend what you can't afford to lose.
 
My vote would be, it depends. It depends on how signicant the money is to you if you never get it back. It depends on what his ability is to repay the money. It depends on how important this friendship is to you. And so on...

For me, it would really depend on how the friend got into this situation and how easily I could affort the loan. If the person was in the situation because of bad decisions, I probably won't loan them money. If it was because of bad circumstances, I might. If I was to loan family or friends money, it would be money that I didn't really care if it ever got paid back. If it was money that I really needed, I wouldn't loan it out.

So what's going to happen after the lawyer "gets started"? One or two months from now is he going to need another $2500 to keep the lawyer going and if he doesn't get it the original $2500 was wasted? I'm also curious, why did he need $5K to switch jobs and why did he switch back?
 
I think you posted because your head is arguing with your heart and you need some rational people to help argue for the rational choice. I'm willing to help -- DON'T DO IT YOU DORK! It's not just money you stand to lose; you're going to lose your friend too. You might well get the money back eventually, but the friendship could never be the same.
 
WWRD

I never lend money to friends or relatives. I would give money to a friend or relative. Loans are never repaid and the friendship is ruined. If the money is given for a deserving cause..it makes the relationship strong and happy.
 
I make a point of not lending money to anyone, but if someone is in NEED, I have made plenty of gifts. Don't loan if you want to keep a friend. Once a friend of mine was in trouble with the IRS, I gave him the money, he insisted it was a loan, I insisted it was a gift. He never repaid, but was ashamed at not paying the loan back that he had insisted it was, I lost a friend. If he had just accepted as a gift, we would probably still be friends. I have called him several times and never once mentioned the money, but he does not call back and I have since lost track of him, we are in different towns, but use to work together. Loans not paid is a sure killer to friendships, If you are well off and want to Give him the money, that is one thing, but don't loan it.
Just my .02
James
 
No way. Your friendship is worthmore than money.

Either GIVE it to him, or don't. The minute you LOAN it to him there will be wierdness between the two of you.
 
your head is arguing with your heart
Click to expand...

yes, that's exactly what is happening. I just spent about 1.5 hours on the phone with him. He's also behind on his phone, heat, electricity. So $2500 probably would not be enough, it would have to be more like $3K.

He does have some choices, his friend has a cheaper place to stay which would save him $250 a month in rent, he could (and I encouraged him to) call up previous clients an ask for some work. I didn't ask him, but he does has relatives I don't know if he's asked them for money.

I haven't discussed this wife the wife yet either. I also try to think of it this way, both my parents are gone but I try to use them as a guide and think about what would they have done in a similar situation.

Good point on the loan weirdness, it's already happened, he was embarassed he couldn't start paying yet.
 
DON'T DO IT YOU DORK!
Click to expand...
Couldn't have said it better.

...it would have to be more like $3K.
Click to expand...
Or $4k, or $5k, or...
And then $3k more next month, and another $3k the month after, and another...
And all that on top of the 5k he already owes you.

Your friendship is worthmore than money.
Click to expand...
Or maybe it's not. But your money is worth more than money.
 
if you can loan it and not miss it then go ahead, odds are you won't get it back.
 
the borrower is slave to the lender. if you do give him the money it should be just that a gift. when you give someone money it changes the relationship.
 
Ren and Cougar hit this nail on the head. I will now follow with some questions of my own. 1) ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? 2) Can I be your friend? I need a loan for a Ferrari and to cover my mortgage for the next 20 years. 3) All joking aside. Is this amount trivial in comparison to your net wages/monthly income?
 
Regardless of your ability to help Dave I have to also say that he needs to sort a lot of this out on his own. You can't work jobs for him and check his debt with his bill collectors daily. Don't continue to enable his dependence on your wallet. I do think however, that your compassion is extremely admirable and I envy you for that large amount of humanity you have displayed.
 
I also think Ren nailed it. Never do 'business' with a friend. Gift it or don't, but when loaned it can only bring negativity to everyone's life, and who needs any more negativity than we already have, eh?
 
It's too late to ask this question.

The first nail in the coffin of your friendship was when he asked you for a loan in the first place. The second was your saying yes. Him asking for a second loan without having repaid the first is just proof that your relationship will never be the same.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top