Loan money to friend Y/N? (A Poll)

[Jim G.]

OK so we loaned a friend $5K because he switched jobs and we wanted him to succeed. So short story is he switched jobs back and his repayment is on hold for the second month, OK we can live with that. I think he wants to pay us back, but my gut is prospects may not be that good.

So now his ex is putting the screws on him and he can't see his son, the lawyer wants $2500 to get started. He asked us for it, I told him we'd have to think about it.

What do you think?+

Dave,
I learned along time ago, don't loan a friend money unless you can afford to not get it back. Things happen and as your finding out, it usually ends up with either no money, or the loss of the friendship. If he is a good enough friend, and you can afford to write it off, by all means loan it to him. If it is money you know you will need in the future don't because as things pile up on him he will start avoiding you, so he dosn't have to hear "Hey got any money for me?" every time he sees you.

 

[1kimo4u]

i voted no. however, if i were financially independant, i would just give him aother 5k and tell him both the payments were gifts. being dirt poor, i would say no. your friendship sounds like it is already effected. sounds like your wife will be upset also. i've been ripped off by both family and friends. he is behind on all his bills. by giving him more money, you are simply prolonging the inevitable crash. in the end, looks like he is gonna kill your friendship. take care of your family, they are what really matter.

 

[OwenM]

1. he switched jobs
2. so we loaned a friend $5K
3. he switched jobs back
4. so his repayment is on hold for the second month
5. the lawyer wants $2500 to get started.
6. so he asked us for it

What do you think?+

Read it like that, and see if it doesn't look like you paid 5 grand for a leech who creates his own problems and sees you as a solution for them.
That's what I think.

 

[Bastid]

I think you posted because your head is arguing with your heart and you need some rational people to help argue for the rational choice. I'm willing to help -- DON'T DO IT YOU DORK! It's not just money you stand to lose; you're going to lose your friend too. You might well get the money back eventually, but the friendship could never be the same.

What he said.
My lifetime score card.
1 friend 10K. Bastid -0
another friend 12K. Bastid -0
andother friend 3K. Basitid - 3K
Knifemaker A 4K. Basitd a 1.5K unfinished knife.
Knifemaker B 2K. Bastid a lot of un-kept promises.

Tally
Friends 21k vs Basitd 3K and an unfinished knife.

DON'T DO IT. Just as bad as loosing the cash is the realization that your friends can walk away from a friendship for Cash. Especially if no amount of cash would make you walk away. Not an easy thing to contemplate.

 

[mycroftt]

Go find a really long line and stand in it for a while. Then think that this is what the line of his unsecured creditors is going to look like when he decides to file a Chapter 7. You will wait forever and you will never see a dime. At least don't lend him another cent until he repays the first loan.

Si a cane morderis catenario, tua est culpa. -Augustine of Hippo
(If you get bitten by a chained dog, it's your own fault.)

 

[737Ng]

I wouldn't do it. I have been put in that situation before and it didn't turn out good for me and never saw my money again..and the friendship suffered as well.

 

[DaveH]

Thanks for all the great suggestions. Wife is actually OK with it, we have some money set aside though, would we miss it if we didn't get it back? Yeah maybe, I'm not fully comfortable with the idea, though we did decide it would be a gift not a loan if we did it.

The other issue is that first of the month is coming up and I'm not sure he has enough to cover rent either. When I think of $8K or $9Kto do something with, that's alot.

 

[puukkoman]

...it would be money that I didn't really care if it ever got paid back. If it was money that I really needed, I wouldn't loan it out.

Wait, there are two types of money? I've never seen the kind that I didn't need.
Sorry... I know this is serious. So, I'd say that I have to agree with most of these guys. If you lend money to anyone, be prepared not to see it again. Intentions are not guarantees.

Another thing to think about.... Is he your friend, or your wife's? Factor that into your decision-making, if you want to stay out of the doghouse.

Whatever you do, don't let money matters ruin your friendships.

 

[DaveH]

I thought I'd update everyone. First let me say I appreciate everyones help.

So the plan is his sister is going to loan him $1.5K, we going to give him $2k. It's a gift so we're not going to ask for it back. In my heart it feels right. Ask me again in six months if I still feel it was the right thing to do.