My dumb brother..

[leon_katarn]

I'm the youngest of 9 siblings ( my mother and father had kids before they got married and had me) and i've always been taught that a knife is a tool and not a weapon. I've made some knives but i can't get the edge straight from the beginning. Since i live in Sweden everyone except the ones grown up on the outskirts of towns and in the woods are very anti-knifes for some reason, fear i'm led to believe. Sure it takes patience and easily healed skin when it comes to using knives, i can't say i haven't got my fair share of cuts and stabs, but when you need to use it, noone knows how.

 

[Nathan Gould]

you think that's bad! i managed to cut myself on a micrometer! trying to measure the thickness of my knuckle, i ended up wiht a little circular cut on my finger. damn hurt!

 

[Psychopomp]

I've seen the common suburban American do this all the time. Apparently they use knives so dull they have no concept of what "really sharp" is, and no concept of how to properly check at all.

I now think it's like handing a loaded gun to a monkey - expect to see blood.

I've told this story before, but it fits here as well. I once sharpened a knife for a former co-worker, and to test the sharpness he licked the edge. He threw up soon after as his mouth filled with blood.

I never sharpened a knife for him again.

 

[Duflar]

OK, I got a few.
Dad gave me my first knife at 7. Took me all of 15 min to cut my finger to the bone. a few stiches and I was good. He didn't take it away but told me to be more careful.

When I work at a grocery store stocking shelves my boss and I were using carton cutters to remove the old stickers from the catsup bottle tops. I hear my boss yell out then go running off holding his finger dripping blood down the isle. "Dumb a$$" i'm thinking to myself. Not 5 min go by and I'm doing a repeat performance. LOL. New rule: Don't put price sticker on bottle tops.

Brother is a Martial Artist, specializes in weapons. He's showing me a twin hook sword form. If your not familiar with hook swords they have double edge and come to a hook at the end and have a cresent blade infront of the handle. He's showing me the form and does a front kick and cuts with both swords at the same time. He cut through both sides of his sneeker and lances his foot open on both sides. I'm still laughing.

OK not a blade but just as funny. Another brother is on a step ladder drilling a 3" hole with a big mother drill, takes both hands to hold this thing. The dril binds and the handle hits him in the face knocks his front teeth out he falls off the ladder and the drill falls and hits him on the head. Same bother is on a roof using nail gun improperly. He holds the trigger in and just pushes the gun against the plywood he's nailing. He trips over the air hose and falls firing a 3" nail into his leg above the knee. The nail is inbedded into the bone below the knee. So there he is on the roof with his leg nailed in a bent position and can't straighten it. Has to craw over to the ladder and hop down drive himself to the ER with the wrong leg. Wait 4 hrs to be seen. Now the funny part, He always wears ripped jeans. I mean there are no knees in his jeans. This day he's wearing a brand new pair of levis. What's the first thing the nurse does? Cut the jeans off. LOL And then she cant get a hold of the nail head. She goes off and returns with some plummers plliers covered in paint. She tries several times to grab the head of the nail but slips off. My brother says "give mr those dam things I don't have all day" He grabs the nail with the pliers and yanks the 3" nail from his leg and walks out telling her they better not send him a bill.

OK so by now you probably realize this perticular brother is dangerous. I'm holding a boad for him while he's using a screw gun to drive screws. OH no not another drill!
Ya he puts all his weight into it and slips off the screw and drives the philips bit threw my finger. If that wasn't bad enough he also switched it to impact so the drill had that hammer action as it was drilling threw my finger.

One more, went fishing with that dangerous brother. You would think I would know better? I'm bent down putting a worm on my hook. just as I go to stand my brother whips his pole to cast to the other side of the lake, But it doesn't go anywhere. So he tries again. Then he figures crap it musta got hooked on something. He turns around and sees me holding onto his line with his hook threw my nose and the worm hanging there like a luggy. LOL I had to use a cutting plier to cut the hook off. Lucky I keep a first aid kit in my tackle box. I washed the wound with alcohol.

 

[SuzukiGS750EZ]

When i was four i was using a steak knife to stab through a finished ice pop (the ones you push up in the little plastic tube) and it ended up flying through and getting my left pointer finger with about half the knives serrations. It just ended up that i needed butterfly bandages and a splint for a week or so, i don't really remember as it was 17 years ago, but i still have the scar. I have too many stories to tell about age 15+ ignorance with knives...(not my ignorance)

 

[SuzukiGS750EZ]

OK, I got a few.
Dad gave me my first knife at 7. Took me all of 15 min to cut my finger to the bone. a few stiches and I was good. He didn't take it away but told me to be more careful.

When I work at a grocery store stocking shelves my boss and I were using carton cutters to remove the old stickers from the catsup bottle tops. I hear my boss yell out then go running off holding his finger dripping blood down the isle. "Dumb a$$" i'm thinking to myself. Not 5 min go by and I'm doing a repeat performance. LOL. New rule: Don't put price sticker on bottle tops.

Brother is a Martial Artist, specializes in weapons. He's showing me a twin hook sword form. If your not familiar with hook swords they have double edge and come to a hook at the end and have a cresent blade infront of the handle. He's showing me the form and does a front kick and cuts with both swords at the same time. He cut through both sides of his sneeker and lances his foot open on both sides. I'm still laughing.

OK not a blade but just as funny. Another brother is on a step ladder drilling a 3" hole with a big mother drill, takes both hands to hold this thing. The dril binds and the handle hits him in the face knocks his front teeth out he falls off the ladder and the drill falls and hits him on the head. Same bother is on a roof using nail gun improperly. He holds the trigger in and just pushes the gun against the plywood he's nailing. He trips over the air hose and falls firing a 3" nail into his leg above the knee. The nail is inbedded into the bone below the knee. So there he is on the roof with his leg nailed in a bent position and can't straighten it. Has to craw over to the ladder and hop down drive himself to the ER with the wrong leg. Wait 4 hrs to be seen. Now the funny part, He always wears ripped jeans. I mean there are no knees in his jeans. This day he's wearing a brand new pair of levis. What's the first thing the nurse does? Cut the jeans off. LOL And then she cant get a hold of the nail head. She goes off and returns with some plummers plliers covered in paint. She tries several times to grab the head of the nail but slips off. My brother says "give mr those dam things I don't have all day" He grabs the nail with the pliers and yanks the 3" nail from his leg and walks out telling her they better not send him a bill.

OK so by now you probably realize this perticular brother is dangerous. I'm holding a boad for him while he's using a screw gun to drive screws. OH no not another drill!
Ya he puts all his weight into it and slips off the screw and drives the philips bit threw my finger. If that wasn't bad enough he also switched it to impact so the drill had that hammer action as it was drilling threw my finger.

One more, went fishing with that dangerous brother. You would think I would know better? I'm bent down putting a worm on my hook. just as I go to stand my brother whips his pole to cast to the other side of the lake, But it doesn't go anywhere. So he tries again. Then he figures crap it musta got hooked on something. He turns around and sees me holding onto his line with his hook threw my nose and the worm hanging there like a luggy. LOL I had to use a cutting plier to cut the hook off. Lucky I keep a first aid kit in my tackle box. I washed the wound with alcohol.

I just cried... that sucks that your brother is like that lol. I definately wouldn't mind making a trip up just to watch him in action haha. He doesn't own a chainsaw right...

 

[Duflar]

I just cried... that sucks that your brother is like that lol. I definately wouldn't mind making a trip up just to watch him in action haha. He doesn't own a chainsaw right...

Actually yes he does. He has many power tools. But he has a habit of fooling with the needle valves and ends up getting the things soo far out of wack that he can't start them. He had one mishap with the chainsaw, he nicked his thigh with it after bringing it down after cutting a branch above his head. You should see the orange power cord to his hedge trimmer. It has soo many tape jobs from cutting into it that it is 60% black. He's really not as bad as I make him out to be, he is very handy and takes care of mom since dad passed away in 82. He just does soo much and owns soo many tools that something is bound to happen sooner or later. I have learned to watch out for myself and him when I'm helping him with something.
Probably the scarest thing he did was when we re-sided my moms house. We had to remove the aluminum siding and install vinyl. Ripping the aluminum was easy until we got to where the power service come to the house. He got the idea to pull the power meter and remove the harware holding the conduit and box so he could pull off the siding behind it. That was the easy part. Now he's up on an aluminum ladder getting ready to grab the power lines to unhook them from the house. "STOP" I yelled. There's still power in those lines. So he goes and gets a fiberglass ladder from next door and I went home and came back with my electricians gloves. As soon as he got the lines unhooked the weight of the lines pulled him backwards and off the ladder. Lucky he was only 8-9 feet up.

 

[SuzukiGS750EZ]

Actually yes he does. He has many power tools. But he has a habit of fooling with the needle valves and ends up getting the things soo far out of wack that he can't start them. He had one mishap with the chainsaw, he nicked his thigh with it after bringing it down after cutting a branch above his head. You should see the orange power cord to his hedge trimmer. It has soo many tape jobs from cutting into it that it is 60% black. He's really not as bad as I make him out to be, he is very handy and takes care of mom since dad passed away in 82. He just does soo much and owns soo many tools that something is bound to happen sooner or later. I have learned to watch out for myself and him when I'm helping him with something.
Probably the scarest thing he did was when we re-sided my moms house. We had to remove the aluminum siding and install vinyl. Ripping the aluminum was easy until we got to where the power service come to the house. He got the idea to pull the power meter and remove the harware holding the conduit and box so he could pull off the siding behind it. That was the easy part. Now he's up on an aluminum ladder getting ready to grab the power lines to unhook them from the house. "STOP" I yelled. There's still power in those lines. So he goes and gets a fiberglass ladder from next door and I went home and came back with my electricians gloves. As soon as he got the lines unhooked the weight of the lines pulled him backwards and off the ladder. Lucky he was only 8-9 feet up.

Jeeze, no, i was thinking more kickback off a log. And i'm guessing he wouldn't be good with carburetors? Thats good though that he takes care of them, he just sounds like a funny man. I'd constantly be worried about my brother and lock him in his room if he was like that though. What does he do for a living?

 

[MValborg]

whoa, heres a thread for me. ive been arround knives... uh... forever
i cant even tell the skin from the scars anymore(suprisingly never needed stitches-yet, im very good at just getting hurt a little)
yet the worst one was when i was putting together a sheet metal(ya thats right) shed for my mom, the padio is surrounded by a rotted wood(did i mention it was being built on the back-padio?) wall which i decided to trust with my weight
sliced all the skin off the top joint of my left pinky,
and gashed into my palm down to the muscle, one of the few times i should have gotten stitched but sorta just didnt get to it

 

[UpChUcK]

you'd think he'd be like 11 or 12 right?.. he's 23.

I guess he was sitting at his desk slicing paper and misjudged his fingers, nicked his thumb and took about 3/4 of the pad of his left index finger off cleanly.. then the dog ate it. I spent the day mocking him mercilessly.. it was quite funny I told him now the dog has had a taste, he's going to try to eat him in his sleep

LMAO!!! Sorry, but I couldn't help myself . I thought the 'bites' I inflict upon myself when closing my folders was bad...

 

[Horror_and_Blades]

you have that right. I have a friend who, while cutting a bagel, managed to cut herself with a plasic knife. but then again she was the same friend who accidentally cut another kid's fingers trying to hand him a knife.

Haha, I cut my thumb trying to cut open an english muffin with a butter knife. In my defense it was a really sharp butter knife, but I was having a dumb moment. Thankfully that dumb moment happened with a butter knife and not one of my boyfriends extremely sharp blades. It certainly helped to make sure I be careful around all blades though. But I sure felt dumb.

-Shelley

 

[Duflar]

Jeeze, no, i was thinking more kickback off a log. And i'm guessing he wouldn't be good with carburetors? Thats good though that he takes care of them, he just sounds like a funny man. I'd constantly be worried about my brother and lock him in his room if he was like that though. What does he do for a living?

He's a roofer/carpenter. Was working for my cousin but got layed off a few weeks ago cause he "was too expensive". My cousin called back a few of the dead beats he was using that work for half the pay. My 3 brothers and I will take on any job really. We have soo many relatives in different trades that we can build a house from ground up and not have to sub any job. The only thing I won't touch is waste pipe.

 

[SuzukiGS750EZ]

Yeah I have a Mechanic, Carpenter, Hair Dresser, Pro Photographer, Dental Assistant and Insurance agent in my family lol. I myself consider myself a bicycle mechanic/computer tech/ amateur photographer.

 

[Duflar]

Yeah I have a Mechanic, Carpenter, Hair Dresser, Pro Photographer, Dental Assistant and Insurance agent in my family lol. I myself consider myself a bicycle mechanic/computer tech/ amateur photographer.

Cool. I dabble in photography too. I just picked up a Cannon 1DSMIII last Feb.
My wife didn't believe that a dog would eat the piece of finger as described in the OP. I had to remind her that when I was 5 the dog next door took 3/4 of my lower lip off and ran with it. The owner brought it to the ER wrapped in tinfoil. No not the dog, the piece of my lip.LOL They sewed it back on and it took. Lucky I was very young and had plenty of time to grow/heal the lip back. That same dog then bit my older brother one week later and opened his top lip all the way to his nose. That dog didn't last too long after that. It was some kind of little terrier and was constantly jumping in your face nipping. Since then I have been biten by dogs soo many times I lost count. I had a paper root as a kid and most of the bites were from customers dogs running loose and had a thing for paperboys and mailmen. Ran into a couple of guard dogs too. The shepard that guarded my dads roofing business would bite anyone except my dad cause he was the one that fed him. Some kids torched the building one night and the FD couldn't get to the building because the dog was keeping them at bay. By the time my dad got there to get the dog out of the yard the building was gone.

 

[amroc]

OK, I got a few.
Dad gave me my first knife at 7. Took me all of 15 min to cut my finger to the bone. a few stiches and I was good. He didn't take it away but told me to be more careful.

When I work at a grocery store stocking shelves my boss and I were using carton cutters to remove the old stickers from the catsup bottle tops. I hear my boss yell out then go running off holding his finger dripping blood down the isle. "Dumb a$$" i'm thinking to myself. Not 5 min go by and I'm doing a repeat performance. LOL. New rule: Don't put price sticker on bottle tops.

Brother is a Martial Artist, specializes in weapons. He's showing me a twin hook sword form. If your not familiar with hook swords they have double edge and come to a hook at the end and have a cresent blade infront of the handle. He's showing me the form and does a front kick and cuts with both swords at the same time. He cut through both sides of his sneeker and lances his foot open on both sides. I'm still laughing.

OK not a blade but just as funny. Another brother is on a step ladder drilling a 3" hole with a big mother drill, takes both hands to hold this thing. The dril binds and the handle hits him in the face knocks his front teeth out he falls off the ladder and the drill falls and hits him on the head. Same bother is on a roof using nail gun improperly. He holds the trigger in and just pushes the gun against the plywood he's nailing. He trips over the air hose and falls firing a 3" nail into his leg above the knee. The nail is inbedded into the bone below the knee. So there he is on the roof with his leg nailed in a bent position and can't straighten it. Has to craw over to the ladder and hop down drive himself to the ER with the wrong leg. Wait 4 hrs to be seen. Now the funny part, He always wears ripped jeans. I mean there are no knees in his jeans. This day he's wearing a brand new pair of levis. What's the first thing the nurse does? Cut the jeans off. LOL And then she cant get a hold of the nail head. She goes off and returns with some plummers plliers covered in paint. She tries several times to grab the head of the nail but slips off. My brother says "give mr those dam things I don't have all day" He grabs the nail with the pliers and yanks the 3" nail from his leg and walks out telling her they better not send him a bill.

OK so by now you probably realize this perticular brother is dangerous. I'm holding a boad for him while he's using a screw gun to drive screws. OH no not another drill!
Ya he puts all his weight into it and slips off the screw and drives the philips bit threw my finger. If that wasn't bad enough he also switched it to impact so the drill had that hammer action as it was drilling threw my finger.

One more, went fishing with that dangerous brother. You would think I would know better? I'm bent down putting a worm on my hook. just as I go to stand my brother whips his pole to cast to the other side of the lake, But it doesn't go anywhere. So he tries again. Then he figures crap it musta got hooked on something. He turns around and sees me holding onto his line with his hook threw my nose and the worm hanging there like a luggy. LOL I had to use a cutting plier to cut the hook off. Lucky I keep a first aid kit in my tackle box. I washed the wound with alcohol.

Wow, I was reading that in class and had to really try not to laugh.

My stupidest thing was using my brand new BM Kulgera to cut through a Chick-Fil-A Styrofoam cup. I went from thick foam to thin, and slid right into my left index finger. Went right to the bone. I was at work, (brick and mortar knife store) and had to superglue my finger shut. Whenever a customer asked if a knife was sharp, i held up my finger and said "Yeah, I think so..."

 

[Mattman888]

A couple weeks ago I was playing with a spyderco tenacious, I turned of the lights and wasn't paying attention and I was trying to close the knife, so I pressed on the blade instead of the liner. Pretty much cut the tip of my thumb off lol.

 

[dfarm]

My dumbest trick with a blade was the time I was installing some wiper inserts at the back parts counter at the dealership I worked at, and I was B.S.ing with one of the techs while I was assembling the wiper blade, and I picked up the single edge razor blade I was using to cut the wiper insert to length and put the dull side on the wiper insert and gave the edge side a push and slice motion with the pad of my index finger. It wasn't too deep, but I blead all over the parts counter.

 

[huskerfan72]

I have two stories. I went camping with a bunch of my buddies, and we had a roaring campfire going. The fire was so hot we figured it could probably melt glass, aluminum, lead, just about anything. So I had the bright idea to try and melt a penny. The trick was getting the penny into the fire and then back out. I, being the smartest of our group, decided to just put a notch in the end of a stick. That way I could melt the penny and not melt me (and hadn't stopped to consider that the melting point of a penny might be higher than the burning point of a stick. Stupid Budweiser threw my math skills off.) So, I take my buddies Gerber LMF and start notching the stick, only to cut the end of the stick off and slice right into the stick-holding hand. Cut the big tendon in my thumb right in half. Oh yeah, we were about 16 or 17.

2nd story was from a few days ago. I bought a few knives on an auction, and my brother-in-law dropped them by after work. My wife was standing there preaching the standard "your going to cut something off" speech when my 14 year old son walked in. Of course the knife he picks up and pulls out of the sheath has to be the double edged one. Perfect. And of course, it was all my fault.

 

[razorsdescent]

I know my kids, I have twins at age 11. They do have a form of autism called Asberger's syndrome. They are not mature enough to handle them. It hurts, but I really want to let them have thier own pocket knife. It would be really special to them, but I know in my heart it is not the right time. I had my first pocket knife at 12, I am going to wait for awhile for more maturity. Right now, they are destined to cut or stab themselves or even their step siblings, and these boys are really good hearted kids, they are just clumsy and awkward (chip off the old block). They also may just downright lose them, or try to bring them to school.

Your a very courageous individual when i went through highschool i had a friend with asbergers syndrome. it must be very difficult.