My God, what have I done?

G

golden chicken

Joined
Sep 8, 2009
Messages
139
Allow me to set the scene.

It's 10 pm and I'm watching the game from my bed. I decide I'm hungry and remember that I'd bought some individual size frozen pizzas that don't take much to prepare. So, I toss on a nearby pair of wind pants and go downstairs to get one.

I open the freezer, tear open the box and shake the pizza out into my hand. I toss the box and realize that my knife (which I've carried for 10 years) is still clipped to my jeans pocket upstairs. No worries, I used to be able to open plastic packages without a knife before.

So, I struggle unsuccessfully with the plastic wrap for 15 seconds or so, trying to poke a finger through or tear it open without it exploding all over the kitchen. Frustrated, I turn to to the desk and the pair of scissors that's always on top. I successfully poke into the plastic wrap, but then find that I'm having trouble cutting the wrap with the scissors! What's going on? I know these scissors are old and probably pretty dull, but I can't entirely blame it on the tool. I know it's been YEARS since the last time I've used scissors, and they feel alien in my hands.

So, long story short, I managed to get my pizza, but it's got me thinking about how having a knife on me every day has somehow made me dependent on the knife.

Maybe I should switch brands of frozen pizza!
 
Dear Golden Chicken,

I'd like to recommend a neck knife. It will no longer matter which pants you have on, or if you have pants on at all for that matter. You will always have your knife around your neck.

Sincerely,

JGON
 
JGON said:
Dear Golden Chicken,

I'd like to recommend a neck knife. It will no longer matter which pants you have on, or if you have pants on at all for that matter. You will always have your knife around your neck.

Sincerely,

JGON
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Hey, works for my Izula . . . .;)
 
My current solution is to spread around a bunch of SAKs around the house so one is always within reach.

Though...recently I've been feeling that Opinels might be better....
 
There is something I do not get in this story. Frozen pizza is opened and heated before eating it. In every house I've seen, this activity takes place in the kitchen. Kitchens have knives in them. I find it hard to believe that a guy posting on BF does not have knives in his kitchen.

What am I missing here?
 
Bill1170 said:
There is something I do not get in this story. Frozen pizza is opened and heated before eating it. In every house I've seen, this activity takes place in the kitchen. Kitchens have knives in them. I find it hard to believe that a guy posting on BF does not have knives in his kitchen.

What am I missing here?
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Yep. FAIL.
 
Bill1170 said:
There is something I do not get in this story. Frozen pizza is opened and heated before eating it. In every house I've seen, this activity takes place in the kitchen. Kitchens have knives in them. I find it hard to believe that a guy posting on BF does not have knives in his kitchen.

What am I missing here?
Click to expand...

My first thought also ...
 
Bill1170 said:
There is something I do not get in this story. Frozen pizza is opened and heated before eating it. In every house I've seen, this activity takes place in the kitchen. Kitchens have knives in them. I find it hard to believe that a guy posting on BF does not have knives in his kitchen.

What am I missing here?
Click to expand...

I don't know about that...

I live with a bunch of non-knife-people and there's seldom one sharp knife of any variety on hand in the kitchen... Though in total there's about 30. One day I almost sharpened all of them but thought, "You know, there's probably reason these are dull," and in the amount of times I've lifted a dish to have a misplaced knife fall on my foot and do nothing, I've realized it's so that they don't accidentally amputate any of their digits.

I even took my own favorite kitchen knife in and gave it a god awfully obtuse angle and told them to use it and be careful, and it wasn't a week before it was totally blunted and the tip slammed into the counter so many times ( for who knows what) to have formed a small metal plate at the end... It looked like the tip of my knife was the head of a nail. I mean, not that big, but I could have carried it around with my fingernail if I wanted.


Anyway, this is why I keep my fingernails somewhat long. They're your natural edges, even if they are extremely dull.
 
The only really sharp knife in the kitchen is a chinese cleaver, and honestly, I don't immediately think of using a kitchen knife to open packaging. I'm sure if I looked hard enough, I could have found a utility razor somewhere.

I guess the point was that I seem to have lost the ability to use scissors or rip plastic barehanded.
 
For some reason, I feel compelled to post this photo ;)
guninshowercookie.jpg
 
golden chicken said:
The only really sharp knife in the kitchen is a chinese cleaver, and honestly, I don't immediately think of using a kitchen knife to open packaging. I'm sure if I looked hard enough, I could have found a utility razor somewhere.

I guess the point was that I seem to have lost the ability to use scissors or rip plastic barehanded.
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OK, so where do you keep your kitchen knives?
 
golden chicken said:
The only really sharp knife in the kitchen is a chinese cleaver, and honestly, I don't immediately think of using a kitchen knife to open packaging. I'm sure if I looked hard enough, I could have found a utility razor somewhere.

I guess the point was that I seem to have lost the ability to use scissors or rip plastic barehanded.
Click to expand...

Scissors are worthless for unsealing frozen pizza; it's round and there is nowhere for them to bite. A Chinese cleaver works great for opening frozen pizza. Just slip the sharp corner of the tip through the plastic, under the pizza, above the cardboard and slide it around. Maybe some culinary skill training is in order, that's pretty poor frozen pizza prep performance you have going on there, IMO.

pete
 
Perhaps this is the problem:
I prefer to keep my knives on a chair(which I ironically never happen to sit on) near my bed(I sleep better with a knife). I don't sit in my house without pants, and I always take my knives out of my pocket unless I'm leaving the house(to get the mail, take out the trash, etc.:cool:).

And just for the sake of getting the most bang out of my buck for having 5 different sharpening systems, I make it a point to keep every knife in the house at least paper slicing sharp.
 
fantastic experience. with it you understand that you must have always your friend knife or use only knives for all.
this is the result of your passion :D :thumbup:
 
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