Near Death Experience

marcangel

marcangel

Joined
Dec 20, 2001
Messages
1,217
For those of you who have not taken care of yourselves, are overweight and/or don't exercise, perhaps this might be a wake-up call. I'll gloss over some of the details since it would make for a long and boring read.

Five years ago I had a colon polyp resected, which unfortunately puts you on the "5 year plan" for surveillance colonscopy. Needless to say, since I was 37 at the time, I was a little unhappy about this, but hell it beats the alternative!:(

I took last week off, planning to get our beach place squared away and scheduled my 5 year "anal invasion" on Wednesday, planning for a long weekend over Easter with my wife and kids, since my 6 year-old had Spring break Thurs-Mon. Well, this time around my Gasteroenterologist (who incidentally is a classmate and fraternity brother of mine from medical school) resected THREE of the little buggers!:mad: As an important side note, about 2 years ago, I decided to get in shape. I dropped forty pounds of fat and worked myself up to an hour of vigorous cardio and an hour of circuit weight training three times a week. I was "inspired" when my wife gave me a gym membership and a sweat suit for a X-mas present:o ! I can take a not too subtle hint!:rolleyes:

Anyway, I didn't feel quite right over the holiday, and called the on-call doc from the beach on Saturday. We both felt I was having some spasm, but at this point I wasn't bleeding...yet. On the way home we stopped for dinner and that's when trouble started. I had a bowel movement of about a half a cup of blood. I called in and, the doc said to just sit tight ;) and hopefully it would resolve. It didn't. I arrived in the ER at 11PM on Saturday. My initial hemoglobin was 13.5 (I normally run 14.5) which means I lost a pint of blood. After some IV fluid, it dropped to 11.5, so I was down 3 pints. At 3 AM I seemed to be holding my own and sent my nurse wife home, since neither of us wanted the kids to freak out on Easter morning. 15 minutes later I crashed, and when I mean crashed, I FREAKING CRASHED! My blood pressure dropped to 40/0 and I developed an incredible sense of impending doom with tunnel vision. At this point I broke out in a cold, clammy sweat and was competing with the sheets, as to "who could be the whitest!" :eek:! As the room flooded with nurses and docs, an O2 mask mask and multiple, additional IVs were inserted, I heard my nurse say, "We can't F%&*ing CODE him, he's STILL TALKING to ME!" :confused:, as she put me in Trendelenberg position, (head down, feet up). After fluid resuscitation, my hemoglobin bottomed out at 8.5, which is where we REALLY start pushing transfusions:barf: . I'd lost nearly 40% of my blood volume. Although the risk of hepatitis C and D is less than 1%, it STILL happens and is a REALLY crappy way to go!:(

In terms of lessons learned here, I can assure you that had I not been in really excellent condition, I would not be at home writing this. At best, I'd still be in the ICU after 2-4 units of blood. I'll let you figure out the WORST case scenario!;)
 
Glad to hear you made it, my atrial fibrillation that came close to a chest crack to stop my heart and jumpstart it, didn't wake me up, it was the fact that my little bro wouldn't have a brother to grow up with.
 
Thoughts of my 6 and 3 year old sons are DEFINATELY what kept me talking. When my classmate came in to see me in the ICU on his day off and said, "Steve, I feel really bad..." My reply was,"Dan, I'm sure you really do, but honestly, not as bad as me!
 
woooof. glad to see that you are still posting.

Kiss your sons, then kiss them again.

best wishes form one who needs that wake-up call.
 
That must have been one heck of an experience , one that I do not envy.
I am glad you are okay and thanks for sharing your story. :)
 
I too had this experience...not as dramatic but was forced one time to lay on a Dr.s office floor and get nitro because my BP was so High they were afraid I was going to stroke out.

Later I was diagnosed with Diabetes type 2...which increases your chance for a stroke or heart attack by 100% it scare the bjeebers out of me...because inspite of the high cost of living...I find it still the better alternative.

I was 100lbs over weight and many of you remember I went on a liquid only Dr. Monitored diet and lost almost 90 lbs.

Now I am in great shape..I go to the gym everyday in the winter and long distance bicycle ride during the summer...

I want to live long and be happy..
 
Congrats on getting help in time..it's sad but true that we need a major league wake-up call like that to figure out what the true priorities in life are. A few years back a I was way overweight,morbidly obese...340 lbs at 6'4".I had a small stroke,the doc called it a parietal cerebral infarct. Diagnosed with Type II diabetes..I KNEW it was time to make changes. Got up off my duff,started exercising,changed some eating habits,and now since May of 2005,I've gone from 340 down to 217 this morning. No meds,diet controlled,ride my bike 20 miles a day..and now have a good shot at seeing my 7 yr old grand daughter grow up.and THAT is my highest priority!
 
Thanks to all. I'm glad I was able to pass on the transfusion, and certainly it is much better to be vertical and warm, as opposed to horizonal and cool. My biggest bitch right now is going to be not getting back to the gym like I did for awhile. I'm going to start with the incline bike and isometrics before I get back to the heavy stuff. BTW, for those interested, try adding the "Bear Crawl" to your workout. This is a USMC exercise where you "crawl" as fast as you can on your hands and feet, with your butt in the air like a bear. My goal was to do this for 1/10 of a mile non-stop before my bleed. I was about 120 ft short as of last week.....:mad: Link to the "bear crawl."

http://www.buildingbodies.ca/exercise/index.php/commando-training-bear-crawl/

The inspiration for this exercise becoming my "nemesis", was a 6AM Friday morning workout called "Corp Fitness" at my gym. The program is run by a former USMC DI, who is a paraplegic. Needless to say, that is a bit of inspiration!
 
I am glad that you are vertical and warm, and not horizontal and cool. That must have been a very scary thing to go through.
 
Glad to hear you're OK, I was cringing just reading that. Good luck on the bear walking, I have no love for that one after doing too much of it at FT Lost-in-the-Woods during Basic Training. I had the distinct displeasure of developing and breaking open a 1 1/2" wide blood blister in my palm while bear walking to chow across hot, rough concrete. That sucker was deep. Kinda soured me on bear walking. It is a good shoulder workout as I recall.
 
marcangel.
Thank-You,
I don't have to worry too much about the polyops...the last 12-15 inches of my large intestine was removed 10 years ago....extreme diverticulosis and serious diverticulitis every 6 or so months.....
I belong to the gym....not go to the gym....
I won't go into the meds. a "healthy" "fat man" uses.....and a good Stoli or so, or so. with habanero stuffed olives one "enjoys" daily......
Just, THANKS!
If I'm not back at the gym in the next few days, I am beyond help......
Sincerely, THANKS!
And, Yes, Thank Goodness you are doing OK.......
 
Steve,

I am glad you are OK now. The same thing happened to me during a spinal surgical procedure. The doc nicked my spinal column and dropped my pressure out from neurogenic shock. I had the same tunnel vision and feeling of death and doom. It is one of those things that is hard to describe to someone who has not experienced it.

This happened to me over 22 years ago and I still remember it vividly and always will. We both now know that the dying process is not as peaceful as most people are under the illusion that it is.

Nobody can die peacefully because the body fights it all the way to the end. I very much fear dying now because I allready had a glimpse of it. We can only hope that the next stage after the panic is tranquility. I guess we will have to wait and see.

Thank you for sharing your experience, up till now no one else I knew went through that and when I told them they did not seem like they believed me.
At least I know you would now.

That is a level of terror that I have never experienced and would not wish on my worst enemy.
 
Again thanks for all who expressed there concern and best wishes to all who have and are trying to improve their fitness levels. I got my hemoglobin done today and I'm already up to 10 gms. Hopefully, by the end of next week I'll be able to start some light workouts!:thumbup:
 
Marcangel, B. Finnigan, a couple of questions if I may; I understand that you might not want to elaborate any further and totally respect such a position but since you've shared some information with us already I was hoping you could provide more details on what happened to you, more specifically:

- could you describe the state of mind you were in when you got to this "tunnel vision" and sense of impending death stage ? I mean, did you think solely about yourself or did you remember your familiy, your youth, etc., were you at peace with your life or did some gory details come up that you felt like addressing/rectifying before you actually go for good ?

- were you frightened and if so, were you frightened of something indeterminate or something you could actually describe (say like being afraid of burning alive or getting squashed by an 18-wheeler) ?

- did you still keep perception of time while in that "tunnel" (if there was something going on around you - like other people talking - was it all happening in "slow-motion" or did you grasp everything normally) ?

- did you feel like you weren't in control of your body anymore ("out of body experience" ... where you felt like nothing you thought of doing would actually materialize as movement and impact your actions/behavior) ?

- what happened to the rest of your senses while your vision was limited to the "tunnel" you mentioned; did they remain the same or did they vane away to same extent as your sight ?

Again I hope these aren't too personal to ask, I just want to sort out some of my own confused experiences and never really had the chance to talk to anyone about them. I'll understand if you don't want to talk about this any further, my apologies and best wishes to you both in that case.
 
I'll try to answer your questions in order. Basically, I was in shock, in this case hemorrhagic shock, but the central nervous system seems to behave similarly when there is inadequate perfusion. In my case I was very much aware of what was occurring since I'm a physician and I had a good idea that this was a distinct possibility.

The "tunnel vision" one experiences is just that, like you are looking through a tunnel. It is caused by decreased cerebral perfusion (lack of oxygen to the brain). Since I was very aware of what was happening, I was thinking more about my wife and kids instead of myself. Since I'm 42, I've got alot of mileage left. I would say I was more concerned with my family.

Frightened...DAMN straight. I was well aware that the checkout counter was in sight, and I didn't think I was ready for that. Again the fact that I was reasonably coherent and TALKING with a blood pressure of 40 systolic would indicate that I was not ready for whatever comes after this life. I wouldn't say I was so much afraid of death, but rather afraid of what would happen to my loved ones if I passed at this point in my life. My mother died when I was 11, so I had fears for my kids.

Time perception was definately altered, and the "slow motion" description although best, is inadequate. It's more like the altered perception of time one has with certain....well...I'll let you figure that out.:D

Out of body....not quite...more like "not in control of my body and aware of it". Feels sort of helpless actually. As for the other senses, sound became more distant, sort of like when you're falling asleep. I don't recall any tastes, but the smell of plastic from the O2 non-rebreather was very distant.

I know what you're trying to get at, but to me it was very physiologic. Not that I don't believe in many different things both spiritual and otherwise. Just a final word...most people who have had precognitions...tend NOT to talk about it a whole lot for fear that they'll get a certain label. Food for thought.;)
 
Steve summed it much better then I could. My fear was compounded by some temporary paralysis from my lower chest on down from the local anesthetic. That only added to the helpless out of control feeling. Along with the tunnel vision the objects and people around me were moving away like you would get with a zoom lense on a camera.

My own reflections and thoughts were nothing more then "Oh my god!! This is it!! I don't want to go, isn't somebody going to help??????" I was not aware of anyone doing anything for me since it looked like they were drifting away from me along with the surrounding noises getting quieter. In reality alot of people were scrammbling around doing alot. I just was not aware of it and didn't feel, see or hear much of anything.

Within a 1/2 hour I was pretty much over it other then still looking very pale and having my legs start to tingle very bad from the lidocaine wearing off.

The situation was compounded by not getting a very good explaination of what just happened from the recovery nurses. They said something along the lines of "we had a little problem with your blood pressure". Little????

It wasn't until the next day when my orthopedic doc came up to my room and explained the whole thing. The puzzle pieces seemed to fit together finnally. Twenty years later I still have nightmares about it and probably will continue to do so for a while.

The only positive part of the expereince was at the time I was an EMT on an ALS ambulance. From that time on any patient I transported with a falling BP and signs of shock I was more tuned into what they were experiencing. I made it a point to talk louder to them and get right in thier face while doing so and being as reassuring as I could that we are helping them. Hopefully that made thier experience a little less horrifying.

I will never know since many of them did not make it or I was never able to follow up after they recovered.

Hopefully someday soon emergency medical providers will treat shock patients differently. The primary focus is to stabilize the patient's vital signs. But they should also talk to the patient much more even though they may look like they are not conscious. OR staff long ago realized that a surgical patient under anesthesia can still hear often times and they are much more careful about what they say and talk about during surgery.

I hope this addressed some of your questions. I would rather just try to forget about the whole thing but that seems impossible for right now.
 
marcangel said:
......... Just a final word...most people who have had precognitions...tend NOT to talk about it a whole lot for fear that they'll get a certain label. Food for thought.;)
Click to expand...


Exactly!!!! But at least if a physician talks about it people may not be so quick to judge. Society veiws doctors as scientists first and rarely as theologians.
 
Ahh, colonoscopy, the memories.

I'm 33.

Guys get checked, the sooner the better.

Great thread, I'm sure it will save a few families some unnecessary hardship.

Oh, also remember to carry adecuate insurance, there is nothing like feeling 'this is it' closely followed by the realization your family won't make it financially once you are gone.
 
wow i stumled on this thread and jest wow
i have been down a tunnel three times now
1st in 73 hit by a car - not black but a lack of any thing but a bright light at the 'end' some ware some one and hearing speach - maybe woke in a room with 2 or 3 days gone

3 awake days later again the tunnel ~but did not make it to balck but jest as youa'l discribe all edges closeing in and could not do any thing the guy in room with me called out and they came in and gave me a shot and left and i think i went to sleep... i dont rember

one more time a few days after knee replacement .. i said to the wife i felt weak and did not want to talk ... she said to the nurse i was suddley grochy
and they rushed in a and bp was 60 over nothing they could read and it dropped to 50 over ? ... this time jest a real narrow field of vision and no loss of time or darkness takeing over and i rember the rush and excitment the had and i did not relise why...

the first time, the nothingness of that experance has not faded much and i feared the dark for years... yes even sleep with out dreams was a sceary thing

the other each time was a feeling of doom forbodeing dread ...
it used to be hard to think of it ...

i still have fears of going to sleep some times...
still afarde of the nothing...
 
glad to hear ur ok...just take it easy now and play with some of your knives...they will help u relax!!
 
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