Need Some Prayers

Guys, I will not be attend Helen's services, this Saturday. I got in a fight with her sister about her father attending. Over the past 12 years i met him once, he never called, sent B'Day or anything else. Her sister said that he has more right than me and is this is the way I feel she doesn't want me there.
 
indian george said:
Guys, I will not be attend Helen's services, this Saturday. I got in a fight with her sister about her father attending. Over the past 12 years i met him once, he never called, sent B'Day or anything else. Her sister said that he has more right than me and is this is the way I feel she doesn't want me there.
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Since when is she in charge of you George? If anybody has a right to be there it is you. Pull yourself together man. Stand tall, sober up and get your ass to the service. Hold your mouth with her family. Helen wouldnt want fighting would she?
 
There won't be a second chanse to go to her funeral. Won't he have more egg on his face by going :) let him dig his own hole deeper and you man your station proud!
 
Bruce Bump said:
Since when is she in charge of you George? If anybody has a right to be there it is you. Pull yourself together man. Stand tall, sober up and get your ass to the service. Hold your mouth with her family. Helen wouldnt want fighting would she?
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I have to agree with Bruce on this. IG, you and Helen were a couple and she was the love of your life. Do not let one person stand in the way of your peace and healing. I have never met either you or your dear lady, but I do believe she would want you to stand up for your relationship. Either way george, we stand with you and our prayers are with you. Ok, time for me to slink back into the shadows.
 
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This is absolutely the last thing you need George, but Bruce is right. She was your love, you have a right to be at her funeral. Just ignore the family who ignored her.
 
indian george said:
Guys, I will not be attend Helen's services, this Saturday. I got in a fight with her sister about her father attending. Over the past 12 years i met him once, he never called, sent B'Day or anything else. Her sister said that he has more right than me and is this is the way I feel she doesn't want me there.
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Very sad to hear, George. Like the others, I think the best thing you can do would be to go, stand tall and proud, and to not even adress or get caught up in any anger or hostility on that day. Everyone who was close to you two knows exactly what "the deal" is. Don't let someone else's last-minute attempt to get closure affect your right to be there.
 
I.G.
She was your woman because you chose her. You have been taking care of her for a long time. You have been responsible for her well being. You have loved her on a level no one in her family could ever do. They can claim to be her family but she chose you. Attend her funeral. Avoid completely her family. It isn't about them. It's about you and your relationship with Helen. Don't let their petty behavior ruin your final goodbye to the woman you have spent the best part of your life loving. Pay your respects to your woman and ignore the rest of the family. Even if they get in your face, respect Helen's life and the love the two of you shared. Be the bigger man and don't let them taint your final respects to the woman who meant so much to you. Helen would want you there for her and for you. What anyone else thinks doesn't mean anything.
Take care of you and your needs and don't worry about the others. Their emotions are running high and they will regret the things they say in their unguarded moments. Don't add to your own regrets by buying into their anger and grief. You will regret not attending her funeral. Just remember that you are there for Helen not her sister or father. Don't be afraid to ask for help and get some friends to go with you to help prop you up and run interference if needed. Count on them now.
Sam
 
slippse2 said:
I.G.
She was your woman because you chose her. You have been taking care of her for a long time. You have been responsible for her well being. You have loved her on a level no one in her family could ever do. They can claim to be her family but she chose you. Attend her funeral. Avoid completely her family. It isn't about them. It's about you and your relationship with Helen. Don't let their petty behavior ruin your final goodbye to the woman you have spent the best part of your life loving. Pay your respects to your woman and ignore the rest of the family. Even if they get in your face, respect Helen's life and the love the two of you shared. Be the bigger man and don't let them taint your final respects to the woman who meant so much to you. Helen would want you there for her and for you. What anyone else thinks doesn't mean anything.
Take care of you and your needs and don't worry about the others. Their emotions are running high and they will regret the things they say in their unguarded moments. Don't add to your own regrets by buying into their anger and grief. You will regret not attending her funeral. Just remember that you are there for Helen not her sister or father. Don't be afraid to ask for help and get some friends to go with you to help prop you up and run interference if needed. Count on them now.
Sam
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Well said Sam
Geo, read this again and again. Going to jail isnt worth the satisfaction of making a big stink there or worse, hurting somebody.
 
No disrespect IG but you gong to jail proves what???? Make the choices not to have blue lights be called in friend.
 
Letting family tensions add to the grief at a funeral service usually leads to a great deal of regret later on.
Put away the anger and dislike for her family, otherwise it is being more about you than Helen. Staying away shows that you can't make the sacrifice for Helen to do it right.
You go for her, you button your lip for her, and you tell her once again with your heart how much you love her and miss her. You let her family do the same and cause no trouble.
Good sense over testosterone and foolishness, my friend. Then you have done the right thing, avoided a scene, and don't have to see them again.
Make the memories good ones, bro. They'll be with you forever.
 
you better go. I don't care if me and joe gotta show up and tie your butt to a chair and bring you there. you know we'll do it. don't test us.

it's not about her stupid family man. it's about what you and her had, she would want you there.
 
IG, What several guys said, Bruce and Mike being that last 2.....Please go and be part of what was your Sweetheart. Just stay away from the sister and father.....You owe it to you and to Helen to be there......Just Don't end up in jail.....Helen is worth your attending. Phooey on the ones you don't get along with....just stay away from them.

I am afraid if you don't go, you will regret it.....Just be cool!

Hey, if you want to get to them, give each a pint of your Heat Treat relish. and innocently tell 'em it is real good on a burger...by the tablespoonful......
 
IG -

You owe it to yourself and your lady's memory to go. Make the choice beforehand not to rise to the bait some clown might wave under your nose. Keep it professional if you have to as regards the rest of the family. This time is more for you and Helen. Settle your differences later if you have to. Better yet, let them go if you can.
I understand taking care of one's own business. Forgiveness is even better.

Wishing you peace,
Balin

Added Edit:
Perhaps you can take some brothers that can keep a buffer between you and the others?
 
As far as who has more rights to go, that is YOU. Absolutely, no questions. You are the man she chose and the man who chose her. God tells us that for this reason shall we leave our parents and join with our significant other (West Texas paraphrase version). Regardless if you're married in the eyes of the law, I have no doubt you were married to each other in your hearts. You were the man that was there for her all these years, and you're the one who needs to go to that funeral.

If her "father" is there, so be it. Don't talk to him. Don't look at him. Just honor the memory of your love. There are times to settle things, and there are times to pull in the claws. This is one of those times. It ain't going to be easy, but nothing's been easy for you guys these past years, especially these last few weeks. Bury that anger, the rage, the disrespect that you hold for that man, and man up for her.

Guys, if there is anyone over in George's neck of the woods who has known George and Helen, please set it up to meet him up and attend the services together. He could use your support, and having men who are your friends stand with you at such times can help prop you up against the anger you feel.

--nathan
 
Michael J. Spangler said:
you better go. I don't care if me and joe gotta show up and tie your butt to a chair and bring you there. you know we'll do it. don't test us.

it's not about her stupid family man. it's about what you and her had, she would want you there.
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The dogs and I will not be here, we are going on a road trip.
 
George, you do what you think she would want. Don't lose it now. I am sure she made you a better man. I know my wife has made me a much better man. You owe it to her to keep yourself well, she would want that and you know it. I think she will understand if you don't go to the funeral. My ex treated me like crap at my sons funeral. I think I was the better person and honored my son more by, just letting it all go. In the scheme of things and after what has happened these people are being petty. Do not sink to their level. Be the man she would want you to be. I have promise my wife that I will take care of myself and enjoy my life when she is gone. I have to in her memory. If you do need to go on a road trip. Thats fine, think of the good thing she brought your life. The crap is crap nd let it go under the bridge. Jim
 
ib2v4u said:
George, you do what you think she would want. Don't lose it now. I am sure she made you a better man. I know my wife has made me a much better man. You owe it to her to keep yourself well, she would want that and you know it. I think she will understand if you don't go to the funeral. My ex treated me like crap at my sons funeral. I think I was the better person and honored my son more by, just letting it all go. In the scheme of things and after what has happened these people are being petty. Do not sink to their level. Be the man she would want you to be. I have promise my wife that I will take care of myself and enjoy my life when she is gone. I have to in her memory. If you do need to go on a road trip. Thats fine, think of the good thing she brought your life. The crap is crap nd let it go under the bridge. Jim
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Well said, IG do what you need to do. Take care and know that your friends are there for you, no matter what else happens!
 
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