well, i have considered the "going crazy" in a few years. when i met her her parents had her so restricted that she was not alowed to wear pants, make up, or cut her hair (its currently down to her butt
) but all that was a religious shroud to hide all of there affairs and to act godly.
i have thaught about and will have a prenup. quite a while ago, right after i asked her to marry me, we had a problem. her mother called me one day and told me "i know something you dont know" in a mocking voice then she told me "she did something to hurt you and i know ALL about it but i wont tell you"
it took a few days but she convenced me that her mom had herd a rumor about her giving another guy a hand job, i took it seariously. no sweat right? well i droped her off at work one day and out of curosity i called her mother to find out if what she told me was true. her mother insisted that she was not telling me the truth and while giggleing and laughing she told me "im going to wait a couple of weeks to find out if shes going to tell you"
i drove back to her work and made her take her lunch early and tell me what in the hell was going on. she told me that she had met this guy on the bus to our technical school (we both have dual enrolled collage classes, i have two and she has one so she comes in later) i had told her on several occasions to stay away from this guy because i knew what kind of a person he is (gang member and drug user with out a job and 3 kids with diffrent girls all under 17) she said that several weeks before, about a month or so, he started setting with her on the 45 min or so ride and after a while he started putting his arm around her and finally one day he slid his hand up her shirt and started playing with her breast. she told me and insistes to this day that after that she stoped having any thing to do with him once he did that. she also said that the hand job was just a rumor and that never happined.she said that the reasion why she even let him put his arm around her is because i told her not to and that i was being restrictive like her parents were.
that was the most painfull moment of my life.
i drove out to my farm that night and dug a grave in the rain. i was bound and determaned for one of us, me or him, to be put face down in that grave and it sure in hell wasent going to be me.
it took a while before the pain subsided enough to where i got my head on stright, for the first month id have killed him on the spot if i would have had the chance. but im no killer and unless he puts my fiamly or me in danger hes
probably safe.
although, givin the chance, i think he would make a nice decoration chained up in my basements eating stale cheatos for the next 50 years of his life but a person can only dream
its still painfull when i think about it, i took most of my aggression out training with a local knife fighter while she went to a counselor.
i mean, its not like she slept with him and she did do the right thing by ignoring him once she realized that it went to far. i told her that i was giving her ONE more chance and if she ever did any thing remotely like that again that it would be over faster than any thing that shes ever seen.
of course, i kept it seceret from my faimly because they love her and i care to much for her to tarnash there view of her i chose to suffer in silance then to hurt her more. alough it would have felt alot better to tell somebody that i know i stayed in my self for her sake. my faimly loves her like a daughter.
dont take me wrong, besides this one setback that is FAR behind us our life togeather has been great. we have never had a fight, she has always been caring and has taken care of me when i was sick and shes cheered me up when i was depressed.
