No appreciation

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Boattale said:
I don't see any way this ends well for anyone involved. I would drop it but that doesn't seem to be an option. Revenge seems to be the goal. I'll offer the observation that is not good inside any family and then follow my own advice.
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Yeah. Petty revenge is not a game you want to start with somebody who is like that. They'll beat you with their own extensive experience.

If the guy really does have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then he's probably already cooking up some ridiculous nonsense anyway though. People with NPD are super destructive in ways that a normal person would never consider or suspect, and they can experience Narcissistic Injury from things that normal people would never blink twice at.

If someone sharpened my badly damaged knife, then I would be appreciative to the point that I would feel guilty about it and I would try to think about something I could do for them in return. But an NPD brain can easily take stuff like that as a personal attack on their ego. They are made to feel inadequate since to them the implication is that they couldn't do it themselves, which is humiliating to them, and their response is to try tear the other person down to in order to restore their own fake projected image. Once they target someone, they generally won't stop targeting them either. It can be a nightmare to deal with. The NPD mindset is to destroy what they can't control or what is a perceived threat to their image.

It's a whole sick rabbit hole. Best thing to do if you suspect someone has NPD is to pretend like you don't notice anything, and then quietly sever all ties and cease all interactions. If they are a family member, then this really isn't an option. You're stuck with them so just try to keep the peace and avoid setting off any land mines.

But maybe it's not as bad as all that and maybe I'm reading too much into it or just reading the situation wrong without having all the facts. People can behave in a narcissistic way and not actually have narcissistic personality disorder. It's probably true that everyone has some narcissistic tendencies, but not everyone is an actual narcissist.
 
Maybe he’s just a young guy who wasn’t taught to be appreciative or maybe he’s just a young guy.
Not all young people are that way but a lot of them are.
Don’t worry about it and just hope he’s a good man for your daughter.
So he doesn’t value the knife the way you hoped, thats just the way it is, and nothing to lose sleep over.
 
One final note and then I'll shut up.

The incident as described is what I would consider to be a "red flag". A red flag by itself doesn't necessarily mean anything. But when these red flag incidents start to build up over time, to me that's an indication that you might be dealing with someone who has a legitimately disordered brain, which itself can be very harmful to anyone involved with that person.

Many people have a tendency to make excuses for or ignore abhorrent or childish behavior like what was described in the OP, and I think it is exactly those types who are the most vulnerable to being abused or mistreated by the people who exhibit that kind of behavior. It sounds to me like this really got under the OP's skin, which in my experience gives some credence to the possibility that there might be something more going on underneath the surface. I'm just saying, I strongly advise paying attention and not dismissing it in the future if more "red flag" incidents do occur.

That's all. I'll be quiet now. 😄 Hopefully this is really nothing and you can forget about it and move on.
 
I sharpened a neighbor’s kitchen knives. She brought them back the next day with her fingers all taped up. She had thrown them in the dishwater and fished them out by feel. She wanted to know if I could detune them.
 
I sharpen knives for friends and family all the time, never had anyone get upset about it (yet). They're always happy to have knives that work well again. You can't please everybody, so ignore the ones who are too demanding of the favors you do for them. Some people are just ungrateful codpieces.
 
Well if you had sharpened the knife right the first time. I'm just kiddin. I'm with Evan Wilson and his comment. Most folks have no idea the effort and time it takes to sharpen a knife nor do they have the passion we have for making a spoon into a great and wonderful tool. Calm down, he's your kin folk now, you have to love him and with that, help him understand. You'll find (and this is experience talking) once you teach him things he knows nothing about and he learns these things you're teaching, your relationship will grow into something you both love, each other.
 
Vlade said:
I think I'm going to loan him my equipment. He's going to destroy his knife with them diamond Stones I just know it but it would be a good learning experience for him.
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You will probably be happier if you forget the incident. Loaning your tools opens the door for more conflict. He can not return your tools for a long time. Or he can damage your diamond stones by pushing too hard. Or bend or break or otherwise screw up the tool. You probably don't want to deal with any of that.

Chalk it up to experience.

Best of luck with the whole thing.
Brian.
 
Guy McVer said:
If the guy really does have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then he's probably already cooking up some ridiculous nonsense anyway though. People with NPD are super destructive in ways that a normal person would never consider or suspect, and they can experience Narcissistic Injury from things that normal people would never blink twice at.
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Guy is right about all this. I will just add that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be extremely charming until you do something that they regard as insufficiently worshipful. Then they blow up dramatically and can be extremely dangerous.

Let's hope that Vlade's son in law is just a run of the mill asshole.
 
People who know me know the knives around here are always sharp. They also know if they ask me to touch one up for them what it will be like when they get it back. We're pretty well full family of outdoorsmen and women, which makes it comfortable with knives, guns and such.
 
Vlade said:
Let's just say this isn't our first time of disagreement. He's trying to tell me things that I forgot already. And okay I'm going to be honest I don't like him. But I just keep my mouth shut and laugh later
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Here's $0.02 of opinion that's worth what you pay to get it:
For folks we don't inherently care for (according to our gut), it's judicious to keep interactions on the cool and slightly distanced side. Courtesy and civility are the baseline assumption. Respect is earned.

(edit to add) To keep sharpening somewhere on the radar, I'm on the list of people willing to sharpen for family, not so much for others. Gotta chuckle at the relative who lets me sharpen *one certain* Chicago utility knife out of her knife block. That way she only has to be extra careful with that one knife. 😂
 
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Should’ve took the knife back and completely ground out that ding, taking years of sharpenings off the blade but it would’ve shut him up.

I sharpen knives for everybody I know pretty much. If it’s junk and won’t sharpen I tell em up front. I have a rep for being about to put a razor edge on a brick in a few minutes, but I can’t take a jarbenza with a Muenster cheese blade and make it sharp.

I’ve never had anybody complain about any edge I’ve ever put on anything, but I’ve had a bunch come back and tell me they cut themselves after.
 
Not while ago my coworker asked me if I can sharpen his knife....Ruike P841.
I asked him what edges he likes. He said I just sharpen his knife the same way I sharpen my knives.
Well, I made him a nice toothy and aggresive edge. The edge was shaving hair and cut all kind of paper you can imagine but it was toothy.... just the way I like my edges to be.
Next day I asked him and he said he somehow didn't like the way the knife was cutting. I smiled and said: Next time I'll make you a polished edge.

Vlade, what I will write is just my personal opinion.
The way you write it looks like you consider yourself as an excelent sharpener and looks like your ego is quite big. Otherwise you wouldn't made all this fuss just because someone didn't like the edge you have put on his knife. Your ego is wounded. Are you one of those who need eternal praise and gratitude for everything they do?
The kid didn' t like your edge.
So what. Forget it and move on.
Just to add, we only know your side of the story. We can not judge only based on your story. We would also have to hear the other side before making conclusions and accuse someone to be NPD or whatever.
 
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