Noeahyo!!!

[AZTimT]

I was sitting here trying to decide if the NMFSH is for me or not since I much prefer tigerhide over black paper until I stumbled onto this thread... now I am wondering why some people intentionally make bad choices while they know full well it is wrong.

i'm trying to figure out how to end it, with this girl. but she's a nice girl, so i'm trying not to hurt her feelings. i don't know what to say, but i think i'm going to tell her that i'm getting back together with an ex, which should seem plausible, at least to her, because I did tell her that I broke up with another girl recently (even though, that's not exactly accurate).

the truth is that i don't find her attractive. and when i hung out with her, the other night, she made a move. and i didn't respond. i couldn't. i tried to, but I just couldn't get down.

so, now she keeps texting me, asking me, "what's wrong?" and "are you okay?" and "you want to talk about it." i can't tell her that, "hey, i don't find you very attractive. in fact, i think you're ugly." that would be rude and it would crush her soul. not right.

that's what i'm doing right now...

For better or worse, I've opted to go the duck and dodge route, meaning I've been non-responsive to her correspondences. i'm hoping she'll get the implicit message that comes with deliberate radio silence. I think she will.

i feel like a coward and a jerk, but it beats being mean or honest (which as some of you suggested, are two sides of the same coin).

in the past, i've had women i've dated fall of the face of the earth, seemingly randomly, so i'm sure she has had relatable experiences; guys just not calling her back.

I'm confident she'll be fine and we'll both get over it.

Apparently you enjoyed how that felt enough to redistribute the wealth. :thumbdn:

Okie dokie, since no other female has stepped in here, I guess I'll take this one.

1. You feel like a coward and a jerk because that's what the duck/dodge method should make you feel like.
2. Call her. On the phone, like a man. Say something like: "I have had a nice time getting to know you, but I do not see us being more than friends. Honesty is important to me, and I don't want to misrepresent my feelings. I hope you can understand this, and if you're up for it, I'd like to be friends."
3. Listen to what she says. Deal with the fall out. Like a man.

It's really not that difficult, and women can handle the truth just like men can. In fact, we probably appreciate it more since we've all dealt with the dirt bags who use the duck/dodge method.

Man up, Hobbit.

Dang girl! I like ur style!

Me too, and for the record, I was only able to marry her by being totally honest from the moment I even remotely suspected that she was the one that trumped all my other grails. :thumbup:

Since this is supposed to be a family friendly forum I feel I must state the following which should be just common sense:
If people really want to meet a partner to spend the rest of their life with they should both give and expect total honesty or not even bother.
At the end of the day, if two people are unable to accept each other for who they are then they are wasting the other one's time... a real relationship has no room for deceit disguised as political/emotional correctness.
Nobody is perfect, but if more Americans were still taught these simplest of moral values our society would have much less wrong with it as without honesty there is no honor.
Family values are the foundation that all great societies have been built on and only lasted so long as that foundation stayed true.

This quote is right out of Bouvier's Law Dictionary from 1856, a time when this country was still growing faster than it's government and doing the right thing was more important than feelings.
HONESTY. That principle which requires us to give every one his due. Nul ne doit slenrichir aux de ens du droit d'autrui.
2. The very object of social order is to promote honesty, and to restrain dishonesty; to do justice and to prevent injustice. It is no less a maxim of law than of religion, do unto others as you wish to be done by.


This was added while I was typing my reply:

...skipping to the sensible parts... Or maybe I should just make the phone call (minus the let's be friends recommendation) and just put this puppy to bed. Or maybe I should stop talking about my personal life so freely and get back to discussions centered around blades.

See, you DO know the right thing to do, so now it is up to you and your conscience to do the right thing.


Now I am going back to pondering over the heavy weight of the flat grind NMFSH... :foot:

 

[TerryBlinski]

Update: I now know calling her was the WRONG thing to do. I should've just continued the duck and dodge approach. While it's not the most polite strategy (as we've discussed), it's certainly effective.

See, when I called her this morning and tried to deliver my prepared remarks she interrupted me, as if she knew what I was about to do.

Then, through a great display of rhetorical wizardry she convinced me to go out with her tonight. She must have worked in sales or something, cuz I could not get in a word edge-wise. Jeez.

I think it's time I start reviewing other options.

You know, those fellas might be right about the hog-hounding and slump bustering.

Maybe, before the date tonight, I'll shovel some scotch down my throat, which should help bring out my more primitive impulses and allow me to just, as they say, "go with the flow."

I dunno. On another note, life is sticky. I get the moral high-ground arguments. But the problem is that kinda stuff breaks down in real life, in real conversations with sexually aggressive 20-somethings, who are open-minded to all social arrangements and determined to get what they want.

It's a different era. Chivalry isn't just dead, it's been dead for a long, long time. I don't know how old everyone is, but lemme just tell you that the dating pool that I'm currently swimming in, is filled with sharks (of both sexes).

I don't know if this chick is a shark, but she's not the demure lady that maybe I've made her out to be thus far. She's nice and cool, but I get the impression that she's not an angel (she also likes camping and hiking).

***

I think I'm going to pass on the NMFSH. I'm currently in the market for a BWM. I think that's the way to go, although I haven't handled one as of yet.