Good Evening.
It is I,
THE GREAT AND POWERFUL VAMPIRE GERIL!
To be fair, only one of my daughters has to worry about my DNA infecting her and her offspring. That particular victim is
HERE.
The other two are adopted and only have to be concerned with the emotional abuse I put them through. Nothing too severe... mainly it involves my insisting that they apply makeup to my face when Lorena's personality becomes too strong. Oh, I also like to put on a scary monster mask and barge into their rooms when they're fast asleep. They've gotten used to this, but it doesn't stop me from doing this when they have friends sleep over.
Since Walt said that perhaps Alysha (sic.. it's Alisha, dammit... she's WHITE!) and Allison could share some light on it, I shall invite them to say a few words.
Please stand by:
From Allison, the eldestest:
yes, this is Allison. my dad is by far the most unique (weird) person I know. In a good way. I just don't think it's all that normal to make love to a dog, just because it's YOUR dog. And then announce it to the neighbors. Other than that he is pretty normal.;-) I love him to death, he is a wonderful person, and I am lucky to have him as my father.
{Alisha was too confused to add anything to this conversation. Too bad I had her test that LSD I just bought, but hell! If it was BAD, I sure didn't wanna take it!}
So, Allison hath spoken. She knew I was gonna read this, so she spoke nicely about me.
Her nightly beating is cancelled for this afternoon.
Doc was talking about me,
THE GREAT AND POWERFUL VAMPIRE GERBIL as a small child. The earliest picture I have is
THIS!
It was taken immediately after the vulture dropped me down the chimney. That particular shot was taken while my head was turned at the proper 190 degree setting. 5 seconds later, the true story would be more evident. I distinctly remember screaming, "Why didn't anyone tell me that my ass was so fat?"
(Mel Brooks, who was my wet nurse at the time, later used that line in Spaceballs.... plagerizin' bastid!)
I am sorry folks, (I use the term "sorry" in a "ESADMF" context) but I am
NOT gonna post my daughters in bikinis for ya! If ya really wanna see, you'll find
ONE daughter in a bikini, but you'll have to figure that out for yourself.
Phil, thanks for posting that. I was the Hell's Belle of the Ball that night.... although I walked funny after accepting that drink for the girl's gym teacher!
Dammit, Missus Gerbil just gave me homework... gottagobye
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Vampire Gerbil: Nosferatus Rodentus Moderatus; similar to a domestic gerbil, except for the odd accent and little black cape.
+ + + + + + + + +
Odd Pictures at Photopoint
Manifesto of Madness and Optical Illusions
<A HREF="http://members.aol.com/vampiregerbil" TARGET=_blank>The Deadly and Scary Leatherman Micra
InstructionalWebsite.</A>
The Ballistic Knife
[This message has been edited by Vampire Gerbil (edited 03-15-2001).]
