OT: 15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart

Aug 23, 2002
15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart -- while his wife is taking her own sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of women's hygiene products & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares' . . and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the them from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack .... and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!!!!"
After a bit of a depressing morining, that was just the ticket. Thanks! :D
I speechless Chuck....and my wife says she can't take ME anywhere. :rolleyes:

Oh...if you ever get bored in the supermarket while waiting for your wife....pull out a handful of coupons from machines in the isles and hand them out to customers as they come in the door. The wife will hurry. :D
I got this off another forum, but after spending part of the day at Wally World it was definitely apropos! ;)

"NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

You ever noticed how those "voices" always sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown - Wha Wah Waaah unh????"
If you ever want to see stuff even wilder, go on a weekend afternoon to the one on I77 @ exit 36 (Race City USA). Turn right after you see Fat Boys (Yeah, that one they talk about on John Boy's Big Show).
Hell with 2 in the morning try showing up aroun 8:00 when they're having the employee pep talk. Now THAT is scarey :eek:
"Who wants to have a good day today?!"
"we do"
"Who runs the best store in town?"
I had to leave, it was too disturbing to watch the rest :eek: