I don't know guys, I might need some feedback... Its like I'm not angry, I don't feel betrayed or vengeful, but neither do I feel very happy or pleasant about this situation: so I was dating this girl, and the first few dates went really well (at least from my point of view), and then when I started to pursue her more, call her more, etc, she started getting alittle shady: not returning my calls, coming up with excuses...and then when I decided to push the issue, she finally came out with the truth that when I asked her out, she had just gotten out of a relationship and she doesn't want to date anyone right now because she's physicall and emotionally empty. I respected that and her wishes...but then maybe 2 weeks later at my graduation ceremony this past weekend, lo and behold, she was there and there was this guy with her. Yes, they were holding hands and the guy looked pretty possessive of her (I don't blame him, she's really hot). Yeah, I know she saw me, but she didn't even come by to say hello. I don't know--am I being unreasonable in feeling alittle not too good because I feel alittle lied to. I just don't like being lied to like that. Ok, rant over...back to khukuris
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OT: Am I being unreasonable in this situation?
- Thread starter christcl
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Ferget it. She was givin' ye the old "Lets just be friends" brush-off, sans the "be friends part.
There are more fish in the sea. Happy fishin!
Keith
There are more fish in the sea. Happy fishin!
Keith
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Take a human brain, any brain.
one level: autonomic level : respiration, adrenline, hunger, heart beat, etc.
another level: emotions: fear, hate, love, joy, etc.
another level: cognition, thinking, logic.
All things considered, we do pretty well trying to integrate the three. Not terrific, but pretty well.
She was right, you are right.
But be real careful about trying to apply logic to emotions, or emotional responses.
My younger daughter, an adult, broke up with her significant other of 6 years because he didn't feel ready to make the final commitment. Within months he was seeing someone else, got the new person pregnant, and was married.
15 years ago, he had done the same thing. I'm just glad my kid was smart enough to get out of the relationship.
Count yourself wiser, and lucky. There's a lot of walking wounded out there.
Kis
one level: autonomic level : respiration, adrenline, hunger, heart beat, etc.
another level: emotions: fear, hate, love, joy, etc.
another level: cognition, thinking, logic.
All things considered, we do pretty well trying to integrate the three. Not terrific, but pretty well.
She was right, you are right.
But be real careful about trying to apply logic to emotions, or emotional responses.
My younger daughter, an adult, broke up with her significant other of 6 years because he didn't feel ready to make the final commitment. Within months he was seeing someone else, got the new person pregnant, and was married.
15 years ago, he had done the same thing. I'm just glad my kid was smart enough to get out of the relationship.
Count yourself wiser, and lucky. There's a lot of walking wounded out there.
Kis
What probably happened was that she didn't want to date you anymore, so she made up an excuse to break up with you. Don't worry about it, she obviously isn't the right person for you. Don't get too upset about it, there are plenty of women out there, go find one who likes you better.
Do you really want to worry over someone who couldn't be adult enough to be honest with you? Sounds like you are better off, learned a big leason and probably got off cheap.....she would probably cause more pain & problem down the line.
Look on the bright side.....at least you didn't get her name tatooed on ya'
Steve
Look on the bright side.....at least you didn't get her name tatooed on ya'
Steve
> OT: Am I being unreasonable in this situation?
Since you haven't really done anything, I'd have to ask - unreasonable about what? About feeling in a certain way? No, of course that's not being unreasonable - but you'd be better off putting the whole thing behind and not giving it much emotion. Congratulations on another lesson in the great class of life
Enjoy the flow of creek,
To not be trapped it's born.
Life, women are all fickle -
But then there comes your turn
- Omar Khayyam (it's my momentary translation, darn it, and I'm proud of it!)
Since you haven't really done anything, I'd have to ask - unreasonable about what? About feeling in a certain way? No, of course that's not being unreasonable - but you'd be better off putting the whole thing behind and not giving it much emotion. Congratulations on another lesson in the great class of life
Enjoy the flow of creek,
To not be trapped it's born.
Life, women are all fickle -
But then there comes your turn
- Omar Khayyam (it's my momentary translation, darn it, and I'm proud of it!)
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- Oct 18, 2001
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- 20,978
take a moment and feel sad about it.....and put it to rest. Nothing like harboring bad feelings for a long time....
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fenryr said:
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christcl said:
I can't add anything to the excellent advice already given. Besides, it looks like you've already got some other options lined up. Move on and meet someone else who is more honest and mature. Have fun tonight!
--Josh
I'll try to post some pixs later....hehe
Well, I just gave this girl a call for dinner and a movie for tonight...I think when I called her, she was still sleeping, so she said she'll get back to me since she might have something else in mind. So we'll see...if it doesn't pan out, then I'm going clubbing with my regular guys and gals
Well, I just gave this girl a call for dinner and a movie for tonight...I think when I called her, she was still sleeping, so she said she'll get back to me since she might have something else in mind. So we'll see...if it doesn't pan out, then I'm going clubbing with my regular guys and gals
fenryr said:Do you really want to worry over someone who couldn't be adult enough to be honest with you? Sounds like you are better off, learned a big leason and probably got off cheap.....she would probably cause more pain & problem down the line.
Look on the bright side.....at least you didn't get her name tatooed on ya'
Steve
You bet. I'd be damn sure not to make Johnny Depp's mistake.
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- Sep 5, 2000
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- 1,522
Reminds me of when I first moved to the Twin Cities. I asked a girl out, we had a date, things seemed ok, she said she wanted to hook up again that weekend, but I couldnt make it. Left a message on her machine saying Im sorry couldnt get together that weekend, Id give her a call when I got back that week. When I got back gave her a call, got the machine again, left a message asking if she wanted to do something. After not hearing from her for a while, a couple days later I called again, again machine, so I left a message asking if things were alright and what was going on since she had asked me to call her and I hadnt heard from her in a while (our first date was set up after a round of phone tag so I had figured things were still ok). Well lo and behold later that night, I get an angry call by some guy saying I was terrorizing her, and that if I didnt stop calling they would call the police to arrest me for stalking her. A whopping three phone calls, over a period of one week, when she had asked for me to call her in the first place, and suddenly she is calling me an evil stalker. Suffice it to say, I was rather disturbed. Why ask me to call if you arent interested in ever talking again? Why not simply tell me you aint interested, why resort to some strong arm tactic? Etc... Well same story as you, got into all this wierd is it me crap, and well one thing I did realize, after a bit of thought. Iffen it feel wierd, and you cant figure out whats wrong, good chances it aint you.
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No offense to Minnesotans, Federico, but in my 6 years out there I met a lot of passive-aggressive abuse-sponge women. So don't feel bad.
Some people just can't be the bad guy. Personally I think it's a character flaw, wanting to keep a pristine self-image at the detriment of someone else's feelings, but I wouldn't lose sleep over it if a girl rejected me in that way again. It doesn't reflect on you. Let it slide. You found out she wasn't worth it without even meeting her parents
Some people just can't be the bad guy. Personally I think it's a character flaw, wanting to keep a pristine self-image at the detriment of someone else's feelings, but I wouldn't lose sleep over it if a girl rejected me in that way again. It doesn't reflect on you. Let it slide. You found out she wasn't worth it without even meeting her parents
Nasty
Chief Cook & Bottle Wash
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Dad taught me a couple of things about women.
1 - No matter how good looking she is, someone, somewhere, has had enough of her crap.
2 - They are all psycho bi**hes given the right circumstances.
It may not be surprising to you, but I am on my last marriage...if this goes belly up, it's walking about the house in skivvies and leaving beer cans wherever they fall from now on. So far so good...but just in case, that's my plan and I'm sticking to it!
1 - No matter how good looking she is, someone, somewhere, has had enough of her crap.
2 - They are all psycho bi**hes given the right circumstances.
It may not be surprising to you, but I am on my last marriage...if this goes belly up, it's walking about the house in skivvies and leaving beer cans wherever they fall from now on. So far so good...but just in case, that's my plan and I'm sticking to it!
