OT: jekyll and Hyde

Tyrkon Lawson

Tyrkon Lawson

Joined
Oct 31, 2003
Messages
8,583
Note: I wanted to post this here as it is this community (you HOGS) that I have become close to via our passions and stampeding. ;)

Has anyone here ever had a friend go jekyll and hyde on them? I mean big time.

Here's the story. About 13 years ago I was introduced to a guy by one of my friends. This guy wanted to train Kali/Silat under me as I was actively teaching at the time. This was before I became a science teacher. Anyway, he was very persistent so I finally got together with him and started to train him . I was just really busy at the time and another student was pushing it.

It was soon obvious that he was a quick learner and some good natural ability. We soon became really good friends. In fact, at one point we were roommates. He was a really humble, cool, humorous guy. Everyone thought the same.

Then I noticed a slight change in him when we would go out to bars and such. He started doing this thing where he would grab a woman's but or similar, often making it look like I did it. I finally took him aside and told him that if one of those women was my sister/girl friend/etc... I'd bust him up bad. I let him know that if he continued to do that he was not welcomed around me anymore. I guess I am old fashioned that way.

One day he gets married out of the blue. I mean within a week or two from my last seeing him. The lady walks out on him one night leaving everything behind (or so I am told). He takes it hard and I try to cheer him up. But he looked like he was having withdrawals from heroin. Crazy.

A little later I start dating a girl I had know for a year (my current wife :D ) and we don't hang out anymore because he just wants to go party. some months down the road I find out from another friend that he is in jail. He was being charged with a ton of felonies. He is held in jail, out on bail a few times, but mostly in jail for about 5 years as his trial is being continued and whatever other red tape that all involves.

I would call the jail periodically to see what the status was on him. I visited once and he seemed to be a completely different man. Then recently I google his name and find this... There are references to his training in MA and with weapons. I would have felt awful if he would have hurt or killed someone. But I can't help but feel guilty that he may have used wht I taught him to threaten and/or hurt people. I do not know the details as all this happened after we parted ways.
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WTF? He was in my wedding for GOD sakes. Close to my family, friends, people at work... Just a real nice guy. Or so we thought. How is this possible?

Sorry, I just needed to vent. This was and is still difficult to digest.

Thanks HOGS

Now back to the INFI and drinking. :D
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My father in law dated a girl for a little while in California. A while later she goes missing. Murdered. The police interview him, and nothing happens with the case. Goes cold 35 years later (this was last year), he gets a call from the FBI telling him the finally solved it. It was his then room mate who did the murder. Got life. It was weird. They never suspected the room mate I don't think. Some times you never know.

My best friend and I always joked that sooner or later some girl was going to have to put a restraining order on him for stalking. One night he is telling me about this great date he just had with a girl from work (a dispatcher, he is a cop). He calls me the next day and tells me the girl just filed a restraining order on him. He wants to call her and ask what the hell. I tell him that will violate the order. He does it any way, and low and behold, she has no idea what he is talking about. An older guy she works with (also a cop) turns out has been laying restraining orders on every guy she dates for several years (he forges the signature of the judge, and serves them him self). She has always been wondering why all these guys never speak to her again after the first date. She calls him on the phone and records him, he admits to doing it.....to "protect her from jerks". No one had any idea. She had to look up all the guys that thought she was insane for years and tell them what had really been going on. Creepy cop with an infatuation with her.

I have had several friends go jeckle and hyde on me. One is in prison for 25 years mandatory. Several others should be in the same boat, but haven't been caught doing what they were doing. Good kids, from good families.
 
TL, it happens. You never really know anyone as I see it. My best friend, stood up for me at my wedding, god father to my son, dated my sis in law, lived in my home, went to Blade with me once one day decides he's breaking up with the SIL. Next thing I know his dad and another buddy show up with a Uhaul and move his stuff out. I have seen him a few times since (over the last two years) and I don't think he is changed all that much but our friendship is definitely different. You should not feel guilty for anything he did regardless of where he got his skills. You didn't make him into an abusing piece of crap, that was his doing. Just be glad the system has him and hope they can do something with him. Maybe he will find the Lord while being locked up, prison ministry has been known to work miracles. Pray for him if you are so inclined, but don't blame yourself for anything.
 
Hey, Tyrkon-- Just want to say that you can't blame yourself for what someone else does or does not do with what you teach them. I think I've heard it all: people change, people don't change...you know, all the platitudes. What I do know is this: people do what they do, and to expect them to do or be other than what they are is folly.

As long as you act in good faith, that is all the control you have. One teacher to another, for what it is worth. Hugs, bro.
 
Bigfattyt said:
My father in law dated a girl for a little while in California. A while later she goes missing. Murdered. The police interview him, and nothing happens with the case. Goes cold 35 years later (this was last year), he gets a call from the FBI telling him the finally solved it. It was his then room mate who did the murder. Got life. It was weird. They never suspected the room mate I don't think. Some times you never know.

My best friend and I always joked that sooner or later some girl was going to have to put a restraining order on him for stalking. One night he is telling me about this great date he just had with a girl from work (a dispatcher, he is a cop). He calls me the next day and tells me the girl just filed a restraining order on him. He wants to call her and ask what the hell. I tell him that will violate the order. He does it any way, and low and behold, she has no idea what he is talking about. An older guy she works with (also a cop) turns out has been laying restraining orders on every guy she dates for several years (he forges the signature of the judge, and serves them him self). She has always been wondering why all these guys never speak to her again after the first date. She calls him on the phone and records him, he admits to doing it.....to "protect her from jerks". No one had any idea. She had to look up all the guys that thought she was insane for years and tell them what had really been going on. Creepy cop with an infatuation with her.

I have had several friends go jeckle and hyde on me. One is in prison for 25 years mandatory. Several others should be in the same boat, but haven't been caught doing what they were doing. Good kids, from good families.
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I sure hope the judge who's signature he was forging handed him his a$$ and took his credentials away at the very least. Forgery of a public official's signature and falsification of a police report by a sworn officer of the law? He ought to be doing time.
 
TL,

He made some really bad choices. You didn't make them for him. I think Progunner and AZ are pretty accurate. You never really know anyone or what certain individuals are capable of and if you didn't teach him someone else would have. However, with time and experience you can always know a little more and be better prepared for future situations. Knowledge is a gift and sadly he chose to misuse the knowledge you shared with him. It is difficult to do the right thing especially when faced with adversity. Judging from the articles in your search and your description of him he clearly had unresolved deep seeded issues before he even met you. You are not responsible for how he chose to live his life but as a teacher and a human being you must be responsible for how you choose to live yours and what you decide to do with your knowledge. His reported actions would read the same in the search results regardless of the MA training you shared with him. I am sorry for you had this experience and even more sorry for the people he may have hurt.
 
I feel ya man, one of my 2 best friends growning up from grade school until maybe 3 or 4 years ago went down hill pretty quick. Got into a gang and started doing drugs then got caught up on a spree with some of his new boys not too long ago where they robbed some houses, got all tweaked out, got caught drinking in a parking lot leaning against a stolen car, beat the guy who told them to get lost (a dad from the highschool basketball game going on not too far away), ran the fella over...then got caught going 110mph on the freeway with a whole bunch of stolen goods and drugs. He's not doing too well...apparently that was just the start...went from being one of the nicest people I knew to a thug virtually over night. I used to go to bible study with the guy for christ sakes...I've known a lot of people that have gone down hill doing drugs or having kids too early on, but no one that went the way he did.
 
Oh yea...would you blame Jerry if someone got stabbed by a Busse? Or the maker of a gun because someone got shot with it...or the shop that sold it? He would have learned what you taught him from someone else..Don't beat yourself up over it...sometimes people don't become bad people...they just go nuts. You can't forsee that.
 
often times outward appearances and behavior truly hide what lies underneath. his behavior in bars and your subsequent response, in retrospect, seem to be a precursor to his later hostilities.

you could not possibly have known. it is likely he was masking his true self with his benign behaviors.

having met you and your family, i can say i am glad he is where he is and no longer an influence in your life.
 
Progunner said:
I sure hope the judge who's signature he was forging handed him his a$$ and took his credentials away at the very least. Forgery of a public official's signature and falsification of a police report by a sworn officer of the law? He ought to be doing time.
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That is what I said when I heard it. I need to ask my buddy what ever happened to that guy. My guess is, 20+ or so years on the force (he was an older creepy guy), in a tiny town like mine, he probably did not even get fired!

That is the kind of guy that starts pulling women over and forcing sex on them etc.
 
he has probably found out that there are alot tougher and crazier guys than him in prison. skills in martial arts don't work with multiple assailants or someone better, maybe both. he made his bed, so now he must sleep in it.

you tried to help him. you set the example. you can't force him to be rightious. that is a trait that is hard earned.

main thing is that you and your family are safe, happy, and moving forward.

oh yeah, busse knives rule! chears!
 
Thing is the guy is not a "tough guy". Perhaps that is why he chose to victimize women. :(

1kimo4u said:
he has probably found out that there are alot tougher and crazier guys than him in prison. skills in martial arts don't work with multiple assailants or someone better, maybe both. he made his bed, so now he must sleep in it.

you tried to help him. you set the example. you can't force him to be rightious. that is a trait that is hard earned.

main thing is that you and your family are safe, happy, and moving forward.

oh yeah, busse knives rule! chears!
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then the justice is even sweeter! unfortunatey, predators usually prey on the week.
 
Prison is one thing...being prom queen of cell block d is a whole 'nother punishment.
 
Think the Jekyll and Hyde thing is more common than most people think.

I had a best friend when I was younger who, after about 5 years of living in each others pockets, got a girlfriend and his life went straight down hill. He cut off most of his friends almost instantly, moved away within 6 months and quit his job (he worked for his family company and was 4th inline from the top!). He realized too late that he'd screwed up massively and as he had no friends left to turn to he turned to drugs. This made his now fiance leave him.

Last I heard he still dabbled in drugs and worked selling tires. This was a guy at 23 years old had everything. He graduated top of his Uni course, had a great family and bunch of friends, had a $70,000/year job and no debts. I tried to speak to him a few times but I know drugs are still in his life and I won't be around that. I don't have many rules but that is one of the big ones.

I just try to remember the times when he was doing well and hope he can get back to a decent life. I hope that for the time we were friends I had a positive influence in him and that if he asks about me now I serve as an example for him.
 
This question will get your mind off the topic: Do planets create their own biospheres?? Think about that one, Teach!
 
Lycosa said:
This question will get your mind off the topic: Do planets create their own biospheres?? Think about that one, Teach!
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I'll field this one: captain planet does. since there's only one captain planet, that's why earth has the only atmosphere viable for sustaining life.

thanks for your stories, guys, and sorry about your losses. I haven't had any friends go through this stuff to such an extreme degree, but I have several family members who are now serving prison time for everything from making meth to molesting their own children. these are the same people who taught me how to fish and took me horseback riding when I was little, and when you find out how far wrong they've gone, it's shocking, shakes you to your roots.
 
Dang it din! Are you a science teacher too??--- In life, we never know what's around the corner. Walk the good road and do right, always.
 
Progunner said:
TL, it happens. You never really know anyone as I see it. My best friend, stood up for me at my wedding, god father to my son, dated my sis in law, lived in my home, went to Blade with me once one day decides he's breaking up with the SIL. Next thing I know his dad and another buddy show up with a Uhaul and move his stuff out. I have seen him a few times since (over the last two years) and I don't think he is changed all that much but our friendship is definitely different. You should not feel guilty for anything he did regardless of where he got his skills. You didn't make him into an abusing piece of crap, that was his doing. Just be glad the system has him and hope they can do something with him. Maybe he will find the Lord while being locked up, prison ministry has been known to work miracles. Pray for him if you are so inclined, but don't blame yourself for anything.
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Sooooo....what you are saying is that the SIL is SINGLE?!:D
 
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