OT: My physical today

Lion's Roar

Lion's Roar

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Apr 11, 2004
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I had my first complete physical this morning, since I don't know when.. maybe since I was in my teens. I didn't have my usual doctor, but instead a pleasant, but new, female doctor. She told me that she would spare me the colonostrophy (sp?) but that we would have to conclude the physical with a testicular exam.. a what? You're kidding right? No, you aren't.. OK, so, I decided to make the best of the embarassing situation that I could. I asked her when she was in the middle of this last exam if we could have a cigarette afterwards... Poor thing, she was at a loss for words.. :D
 
Way to make the best of an uncomfortable situation, LR:D I don't know if i could have gone through with that. Everything checked out ok, i suppose?

jake
 
well i feel it would have made my day to have my old "Jewels" handled by a nice young female doctor :eek: :) :eek:
 
I imagine that it is similar to a Dr I had many, many, years ago that when asked by a female patient, "Do you get as tired of doing these pelvic exams as I do of doing dishes?" Dr Wilbanks replied, "Well, at least it isn't the same ol' dish.":rolleyes: :D ;) :p
 
The testicular palpation, I'd put up with. But the doc who read my file and came in the door telling me his opinion was I needed a colonoscopy before he even met me...

Well, he left in a hurry when I told him my opinion of proctologists who came on like he did was somewhat lower than my opinion of the pedophiles I'd dealt with.

( This was before they finally came through with my CCW. Since then I don't take a seat in the waiting room without it. )
 
Hey guys...I remember that it was an uncomfortable decision to make, but I did have it done. We had no indication of trouble, only did it to shut up, I mean be reasonable, with the wife in getting a complete physical. They removed three polyps while they were up there that most likely would have turned malignent and killed me by the time I was 55.

Don't be pu$$es...drop 'em, bend over, and take one for the team.



Edited to add...no test is a reliable substitute for the full colonoscopy. :eek:
 
Last physical I had the doc had me drop trou and bend over. His words were "Bend over and open wide". Man he's got a big finger! I told him that while he was there, to see if he could find my dignity. When he was done, I asked him for a note for my ex-wife, saying that my head was in fact not where she claimed it was.:D :D
 
L.R., did she do the old prostate exam? :eek: :D

Guys, colonoscopies suck...getting a preventable colon cancer is much worse.
 
Aahhemm, testes, testes, one, two, THREE??!!!! :D The first time I got a prostate poke the doctor came in wearing cowboy boots and cowboy hat. He must have been a pro bull rider 'cause he held on for at least 8 seconds. I swear I thought he was practicing fencing up there. When he was done I had a spasm in the hiney and said "Doc, my azzhole has got a charley horse. He looked at me, and with asks "When you say azzhole do you meen inside your rectum or your peri-anal (spic?) region?". When I told I could't tell he handed me a handi wipe and left. No flowers, money, nothin' :p
 
Several of you guys got rep points fer yer answers.:D

I've had a couple of colonoscopies in the last few years. I surprise 'em every time and blow the damned thing back out at them.:D
But that's only when they run off and leave me on that damned cold table for a length of time and aren't tending to business. I mean if they're gonna do it let's do it and get it over with! :p :mad:

Colon cancer is one of the most easily found and one of the most curable cancers there is.
Had my brother had been checked out after his surviving throat cancer he might still be alive.:( :grumpy:
 
Didn't get the colonoscopy but did get the prostate exam and the "cough" exam.

Nothing like wiping ky out of your a**crack with paper towel...
I mean as a straight guy and all. :p

But it really wasn't as bad as I would have thought. Just keep reminding youself that he does this all the time and it could save your life.

I'm gonna have to ask the doctor when I should worry about the full physical as I'm pretty good at seeing him quite a bit when something seems wrong.

N2
 
The worst part of the prostate exam is



you can never seem to get all the KY off and you end up pulling your shorts out of your crack until you can get home and have a shower!!
 
Much easier way to check for prostate cancer is a simple PSA blood test. It is not foolproof but is a most excellent place to start and a hellava lot less uncomfortable than a manual prostate exam!!!
 
I'm not overly fond of getting needled, but a PSA stick I'd take over a roto rooter job seven days a week. Then if it comes back cause for concern... :(
 
And if it comes back as a false negative Rusty? Where's that *gigantic* sad face anyway?

You know I only mean the best...get your ass in there and let them see if they can save your life with nothing more than a bit of discomfort.



(Okay, "get your ass in there" might not be the best way to say it, butt...)



(Okay, that one was beneath me...)



(Okay, I'm done with the crappy puns now)



.
 
My father-in-law is living proof that a colonoscopy can save your life. Also, not being a big tough guy baby can save your life as well. They had to remove about 8" of his colon about 4 years ago. That worked out well. What they missed was the bit of cancer that had taken root in his liver. He caught that early enough to save his life, and has a pretty good chance of sticking around for awhile. Had it been my father, he would have ignored it and been killed by the colon cancer some years back. He'll be 50 this year. Time to get him scoped out.


Jake
 
There's some funny posts on this thread. Shappa, no prostrate exams. Although, after the testicular exam she probably could have talked me into anything :D I'm kidding.

I lost my father to cancer when he was 55 and his father to cancer at 56, so I guess one day I'll have to give in for the sake of my young 'uns.

Rusty, I've never came into a doctor's office packing, but my normal physician is actually a PA, Physician's Assistant, who spent 7 years in SpecOps back in the 60's. We have sat in the doctor's office more than one time having talks about guns, and what to do about Iraq.
 
I haven't gotten a physical in many years nor do I intend to. Not suggesting that for others, but I try to avoid doctors if possible. I do get acupuncture and treatment for posture issues but I try not to go to the doctor and certainly not for preventive purposes.
 
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