OT Regarding Hell....

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This may be a bit on the nerdy side, but I thought that some may find it amusing.


On the Thermodynamics of Hell
(author unknown)


From an anonymous but reliable source:

A thermodynamics professor wrote a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof."


[To clarify, exothermic refers to a process that releases energy as it proceeds to a more stable state. Think of those heat packs where two things are mixed and heat is produced. Endothermic refers to a process that requires additional energy to proceed. Like a cold pack that sucks the heat from it's surroundings when two things are mixed. -f.]

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:
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First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.


[For the curious, a mole of souls, or anything else for that matter is specific number ( happens to be about 6.02 times 10 to the 23rd power or Avagadro's number) of them. This special quantity is particularly convenient for many applications for reasons which need not concern us here. Dunno where the name came from. -f.]

So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume of hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
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It was not revealed what grade the student got.
 
My physics prof. told me this joke...

Einstein passed away, and found himself in heaven. St. Peter welcomed him through the gates and Einstein soon found himself walking with the big man himself. "You have done many good things, Albert...so I shall answer any three questions you wish to ask before you go on to your reward."

Einstein asks God about the possible use of his theories in creating cold fusion, and God answers his question, telling him what he could have changed in order to do so.

Einstein then asks the Lord how nuclear technology will affect the world and people in years to come. God tells him a long tale of what things will and will not come to pass.

Einstein thinks for a moment and asks.. "Lord tell me the answer to the thermodynamic problem I was working on before I died."
God shrugs and says "I have no idea, the devil invented that."
 
Originally posted by Dakmar
My physics prof. told me this joke...

Einstein thinks for a moment and asks.. "Lord tell me the answer to the thermodynamic problem I was working on before I died."
God shrugs and says "I have no idea, the devil invented that."

Yup. Which is why I'm not a chemical engineer. :D


By the way, I think that hell is more analagous to a black hole, not in a container, per se, but expanding or contracting in an essentially infinite space. Black holes radiate, suggesting that hell would be exothermic. Yes, I actually spent time and energy thinking about this. :rolleyes:

What does this have to do with khuks? Well, khuks are curved and black holes curve spacetime, so I suppose black holes are the khuks of the universe. :rolleyes:
 
I heard firkin's story a little differently, but basically the same, except for the ending:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by one Ms. Teresa Banyan during
my Freshman year, that it will be "A cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, 2 cannot be true.
Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only A+ given.
 
Einstein thinks for a moment and asks.. "Lord tell me the answer to the thermodynamic problem I was working on before I died."
God shrugs and says "I have no idea, the devil invented that."

LOL, and so true. I could never figure out when it was OK to approximate or not....nightmare course.

Actually, I was sorta expecting comments on the following bit which in my perverse way, I found to be the most amusing part:

As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
 
Overheard on late night TV:

" I don't know why people are surprized that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France. "

Jay Leno
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I thought it was a giggle worth passing on. Stephensee, or any other Francophiles if you're still out there, it's a joke. And that's all it is. Sailors tell Marine jokes, Marines tell Navy jokes, Army tells Air Force jokes...
 
BTT so no one misses it.

And yet another joke:

Euro-Disney has had it's permit for fireworks pulled after the previous night's display resulted in the surrender of a nearby French garrisson.
 
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