Oxymorons

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Random

I PWN |\|00bs
Joined
Jul 13, 2000
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I got this from a friend today and thought I'd share...

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas oxymoron: What other time of the year do you sit in front of a
dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. I always wanted to know -- Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a
driveway??????
 
The "moral majority" is my favorite.

Ever wonder why it's called "jumbo shrimp?"
 
The Postal Service used to have a good one. When they eliminated Book Rate they came up with a replacement called "Special Standard" rate. Unfortunately, they did away with that oxymoronic brand in favor of Media Mail.
 
I think this is a good one:

Microsoft Works.

And a cool one from a Marx brothers film:

If you are found you are lost.
 
The Last Confederate said:
Mlitary Intelligence
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That's the oldest one in the book, and actually quite incorrect unless you think an aircraft carrier can be operated by a bunch of blithering idiots.
 
Really not an oxymoron but if a Christian says "oh my God" does a Muslim say "oh my Allah?" Does a Buddist say "oh my Buddah?"
If not why not? :confused:

OK - in keeping with the tread why does "this sucks" mean the same as "this blows?"
 
I've never been able to understand why people say that. If you believe in God why do you keep annoying him with false alarms? If you don't believe in God, what's the point in hollering for him? :confused:
 
Random said:
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Click to expand...


A number of years ago, a Swedish company created a new English language ad campaign for one of their products and they had good results with it in one English-speaking country after another. Finally, they decided to launch it in the US, the largest of all English-speaking markets. Fortunately for them, one of their US executives saw the copy and managed to skuttle the campaign just in the nick of time. The slogan? "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
 
Gollnick said:
A number of years ago, a Swedish company created a new English language ad campaign for one of their products and they had good results with it in one English-speaking country after another. Finally, they decided to launch it in the US, the largest of all English-speaking markets. Fortunately for them, one of their US executives saw the copy and managed to skuttle the campaign just in the nick of time. The slogan? "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
Click to expand...
They still use the slogan in Sweden :D What was their slogan in America?
 
Random said:
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
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He didn't write the first English dictionary.

Samuel Johnson's dictionary was published in England in 1755, fifty-one years before Webster's.

maximus otter
 
another oxymoron: White blue jeans. are they white, or are they blue? I just tell them to go away and come back once they have made up their mind.

why is a pair of socks two socks, yet a pair of pants is only one garment?
 
Nordic Viking said:
They still use the slogan in Sweden
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You don't have to be Swedish to make such a blunder. General Motors puzzled for quite some time over the very poor Latin-American sales of one of its most popular models. Finally, they hired a high-paid consultant who explained that, in Spanish, the word Nova is pronounced No Vaya and means won't/doesn't/can't go. Once the car was renamed, sales picked up nicely.
 
Gollnick said:
You don't have to be Swedish to make such a blunder. General Motors puzzled for quite some time over the very poor Latin-American sales of one of its most popular models. Finally, they hired a high-paid consultant who explained that, in Spanish, the word Nova is pronounced No Vaya and means won't/doesn't/can't go. Once the car was renamed, sales picked up nicely.
Click to expand...
This car was actually made in Spain...
 
One we see on another part of this forum often , someone looking for a "really good ,cheap knife". Another blade term - "sharpened false edge "
 
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