dcmartin
Gold Member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2010
- Messages
- 1,231
Hey Coldmrk, firstly I'm gonna go ahead and say this.... You probably dodged a major bullet! Don't beat yourself up, let her become someone else's concern. Move on brother!
Now with that said, the "working on you" part of this equation is the biggest part as well as the most important part. I would suggest hanging out with friends, don't get into discussing strategy on how to date just be in the moment and enjoy where you are. Enjoy the company, the beer or coffee or movies or concert. Go and enjoy things by yourself for a while (GO AND TRY NEW THINGS! FUN FUN FUN) At this point in the game, you can sleep in, watch movies, eat wherever you want, whenever you want, spend as much time as you want at the gun store / knife store lol. Spend countless hours detailing your car or just doing whatever you couldn't do before
When you truly start enjoying your time with yourself you will become more at peace. Your outlook on life will change (more chill) a relaxed demeanor is very attractive to the ladies. They have this radar that can smell desparation... It's like death and if you have the misfortune of finding someone who is attracted to it...RUN don't walk away. The funny part is, when you become more at peace leaving the desperation behind, you will see it in others (men and women alike) You'll look back and say "glad I'm not in that space anymore"
Take note of the things you did while around your ex (while she was your girlfriend) Were you passive aggressive, was she? How did she react to hearing news she didn't like? What did you do? Did you stop hanging out with your boys because it bothered her? Did you make excuses for her to other people? Were you afraid to disagree with her because it might spoil her mood or make it worse? If you did any of these, i'm sorry to say but you hastened the demise of your relationship. These are definite no no's. Don't worry if you actually did them... It's better to recognize that you did and work on not repeating them....ever. The one thing you will learn by being by yourself is: Being true to yourself is not only the best way but really it is the ONLY way. Once you know what you will and will not tolerate, your search becomes easier (may take a little while though)
The other thing about being by yourself for a while is........THE MONEY! When my ex(girlfriend) and I split up i found myself with a bunch of extra money. Before you know it you'll be filling your safe with cool knives, AR's, 1911's.
Now with that said, the "working on you" part of this equation is the biggest part as well as the most important part. I would suggest hanging out with friends, don't get into discussing strategy on how to date just be in the moment and enjoy where you are. Enjoy the company, the beer or coffee or movies or concert. Go and enjoy things by yourself for a while (GO AND TRY NEW THINGS! FUN FUN FUN) At this point in the game, you can sleep in, watch movies, eat wherever you want, whenever you want, spend as much time as you want at the gun store / knife store lol. Spend countless hours detailing your car or just doing whatever you couldn't do before
When you truly start enjoying your time with yourself you will become more at peace. Your outlook on life will change (more chill) a relaxed demeanor is very attractive to the ladies. They have this radar that can smell desparation... It's like death and if you have the misfortune of finding someone who is attracted to it...RUN don't walk away. The funny part is, when you become more at peace leaving the desperation behind, you will see it in others (men and women alike) You'll look back and say "glad I'm not in that space anymore"
Take note of the things you did while around your ex (while she was your girlfriend) Were you passive aggressive, was she? How did she react to hearing news she didn't like? What did you do? Did you stop hanging out with your boys because it bothered her? Did you make excuses for her to other people? Were you afraid to disagree with her because it might spoil her mood or make it worse? If you did any of these, i'm sorry to say but you hastened the demise of your relationship. These are definite no no's. Don't worry if you actually did them... It's better to recognize that you did and work on not repeating them....ever. The one thing you will learn by being by yourself is: Being true to yourself is not only the best way but really it is the ONLY way. Once you know what you will and will not tolerate, your search becomes easier (may take a little while though)
The other thing about being by yourself for a while is........THE MONEY! When my ex(girlfriend) and I split up i found myself with a bunch of extra money. Before you know it you'll be filling your safe with cool knives, AR's, 1911's.
