Plur

Firstly,
Baliswingers or Balisongers are our own kind of group. I think everyone agrees on that.

Now, some off-topics you might want to discuss in the community forum, but some are so (how do I say this?) 'close' or 'intimate' that you want to share with your fellow baliswingers and not with the rest of the world. AND, how many of us visit the community forum? I take myself as not so frequent visitor to this BLADEFORUMS and what I usualy peek is only balisong forum, blade forum, knive review and sometimes tactics and training.

So, you might guess my response: some off topics are ok, as long as it is labelled so, that those who doesn't want to read can skip.

Baliswinger united!
 
exactamundo surenos!

but its fun to clown anything that comes along.

so eh...


-nev
 
My list of up and coming off-topic threads:

-How to cut the cheese with a balisong
-Why a day in the life of my dog isn't as much fun as a day in the life of my balisong.
-What the hell was that weird thing I just pulled out from between the handles of my knife?
-Famous people I'd like to see die
-My definition of the word stupid
-Ummmmmmm...
-Yeah
-What the hell was I just talking about again?
-How to catch, clean, and rehabilitate a dead fish with two toothpicks, some string, a can of cheeze whiz, and a monkey.
-How to catch, clean, and rehabilitate the now dead monkey from the previous post using jumper cables and a washing machine
 
:confused: Mman! I really need to stop by here more often. What happened to the Balisong forum that used to be here?:D

Tell me more about the fish and the toothpick thing!:D

Regards,
 
The trick was to tie the two toothpicks together in a hook shape, smear em with cheeze whiz, stick em to the monkey's head, and tie the string to his tail. Supposedly the monkey then swims down to grab the fish, (who are attracted to the scent of cheez whiz and monkey fuzz in the water) and bring it back up. The monkey was specially trained for this, in preparation for the highly unlikely event that he ran out of food.

After that he was supposed to clean the fish using the actual can from the cheeze whiz. Unfortunately, in trying to fashion the can into a usable implement for the exercise, he goofed, spilling the cheeze whiz on himself, so after he caught the fish, which was a big fish, he was attacked, and partially eaten himself. (We were fishing off the Florida coast, and anyone following recent news from Florida knows the fish are mean there.)

Unfortunately for me, trained monkeys are very expensive, and so I was forced to clean the fish to recover the missing parts of the monkey. (He wasn't mine, and I figured I could at least return most of the parts so my friend could get a partial refund.) Hence the second part of the story...

But you really don't want to hear about electrocuting a monkey in a washing machine.
 
I guess the thread gave everyone the opportunity to talk about different things. And that's deffinately what happened here. Oh, and by the way, Lothar.OTHP that was some crazy crap you came up with. I might be considered weird but I would like to see what you can come up with for the second part of the story concerning electricuting a monkey in a washing machine.

" Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." -- John Quincy Adams
Click to expand...
 
Well, I thought it would be a relatively simple thing... hooking jumper cables up to the wall socket, yellin "clear!" and zapping the monkey into consciousness. Just like ER, right?

First time, he came to, looked down at the detached half of his right leg, and passed out again.

So I yelled again, zapped him, and he came to again. He looked down at his leg, then looked at me, gave an obscene gesture this time, and passed out again.

I figured he was showing more signs of life as this went on, so I figured I'd give it another go, and hopefully he'd be ok. Too bad for me the detached half of a monkey leg makes a pretty good club. He skipped the obscene gesture this time, jumped out of the washing machine and started beating the hell out of me with his own leg. Thenhe starts chasing me around the house, stepping alternately on his good leg, and on his mangled one, letting out a screech every time... so it ended up sounding like a three stooges skit as he chased me around and beat on me... Thump squish screech OW Thump squish screech OW... It got kinda rowdy. So I was forced to beat him into submission with the remains of the big mean, dead fish, and then used duct tape to reattach his leg (101st household use for duct tape... reattaching mangled monkey legs) so I could return him to my friend.

I guess my worst mistake was in deciding that I should clean him off. (Clubbing a monkey over the head with a recently gutted fish can get pretty gnarly.) I really didn't feel like scrubbing, and no way in hell was I gonna give him a shower, so, naturally, I threw him back in the washing machine. It worked for a while, until it got to spin cycle, at which point he woke up.

Just picture the little bastard's head sticking up out of the washer, flying around in circles at 300 rpm, or however fast it is they spin.

Then picture the mess when he got flung out.

Trust me, seeing a monkey get catapulted from inside of a spinning washing machine into the outside of a wall is not something you really want to see.

...well, at least not after the first time.

Anyway... so there I was with a pile of used monkey parts...
 
Man, that was the funniest Sh!t i've heard yet. I still wonder where you come up with this stuff. If you can think up another weird a$$ story then please post em'.
 
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