Witter on -
Well, as much as I like nice things I'm ever vigilant to a valve model of more is good; more christmas dinner, more drugs, more knives, more whatever. For me it isn't, although there is a definite tendency towards it. Perfect moderation is an elusive path and one that takes my effort.
I wrote here before about how I had nearly come full circle with knives. Along with other things I used to be constantly on the look out to pounce on the next thing on the market. I was never truly satisfied with what I had. I strongly suspect at the time that was born of a couple of things. I became empowered to do so while living in London, and I had become estranged from real world use. The plan was always to move back out to the countryside and in my mind I was stockpiling the tools for a rematch. Never again would I have to suffer a KA-BAR, or wet feet, or blah. In sum, I hoarded.
I sold up and bought two properties and that was the beginning of this approach. I realized that much of what I had accrued was just sat packed away as junk. I got rid of it. I did the same with books. For one that doesn't have the headspace to fill with stuff that some random bloke has made up I'd gathered quite a library of fiction along with all the other books. Why, dunno. They just sat there useless, gathering dust. I got rid of the lot. Now I'm strictly digital. Same with a bunch of other stuff including outdoor gear and knives.
Where did that tendency come from? In part I blame the father as a model. He was a sucker for it. I've written here before about how when he decided to get into fishing he came back with a bunch of top kit, a boat, and a dirty great tender that alone would have been great for fishing. He was sold to. By gosh was he ever a salesman's wet dream. He never seemed to get a great deal of satisfaction from it though. The other part I guess is just my tendency toward the valve model and more being good. I've certainly done it in other areas too. Back when, I used to obsess about wringing the maximum from computers. Water cooling and modding the chips with conductive paint. Not a chance I would have bought anything other than Corsair at CAS 2. Faster, faster, faster. Didn't use it for much though. It took me a while to quit that too, but I recall it vividly. After hanging with some people that used their machines for truly interesting stuff, and seeing what they were running, my approach changed a lot. Then, one fine day, after being exposed to what these people actually do in the world, I was sitting there at one of mah machines and there was an obstacle to X. I genuinely caught myself muttering out loud how fvckin' dare you, this is digital. Man that felt good. So good. The penny dropped. Finger pointing to the moon and all that. I had spent far too much effort on the machines and not enough about leaning what I could do with them, real deal. Now obviously one has to keep up to date to a certain extent. CS4 simply wont run on a machine from the ark and who likes to wait for a video to transcode, but I've not overclocked another machine since. That absolutely parallels what I have done with other kit, including knives. I am now so much more satisfied.
In fact, with the viciousness of an ex-smoker, I am privately rather disparaging now. I have seen my light so clearly. It now amuses me more than anything else when I see lists of stuff that people have but clearly don't use. For a person that doesn't read much fiction it may come a surprise to you too that I've coined it the Bret Easton Ellis model; you how annoying it is when reading American Psycho that the central character repeatedly name-drops label after endless bloody label as Ellis takes the piss out of the '80s YUPPIE mentality. Same with a lot of accounts I read on forums. I got up and drank my A coffee from my B mug and put on my C tie. Walking across my D carpet I sauntered to my E back door. I turned the key in the F lock and looked wistfully and my G car. I wondered how much longer I'd have to wait for the new model. Those hills wont be around forever and I needed some dirt time bad.... You get the idea.
Don't get me wrong, I still like good kit. I won't swap my bergan, I like Soul emitters, I won't use crap knives, I enjoy nice boots .etc, but mere possession is no substitute for actually getting out for a few days. It is secondary.
I guess the last piece of the jigsaw is probably mah woman. Being somewhat younger than I and having traveled a very different path she is quite naïve about kit, yet she gets out with me a lot and loves it. She is satisfied. True, I point her in the right direction occasionally if she is way off with her kit, but the beauty of it is I don't meddle or over advise. She's happy using a modest knife, a modest pack, and often shows up in jeans. I took her out for a peddle a couple of days back [probably poke a couple of pics up later]. The place attracts the Lycra mountain bikers with some very expensive bikes. She went round it in scruffy garb on a plain tredder she bought off her father for £200 GBP. She looked a whole bunch happier to me than if we'd sat indoors while I told her she really needed bike X. Satisfaction through just being and living it.
These cows are now content.
- Witter off