Round Yorkshire With A Knife: The Wizard’s Quest Part 10: Vikings and Thieving Varlet

Jack Black

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Round Yorkshire With A Knife: The Wizard’s Quest Part 10: Vikings and Thieving Varlets

The image that most have in relation to the Vikings in England is of brutal raiders hell-bent on pillage and destruction, but after the early Viking raids of the 8th century, the Vikings came here to trade, to build, to farm, and to settle. They brought with them their language and customs, their knowledge, their genes, and their religion. Yorkshire was connected to Scandinavia for 200 years, and today the Vikings live on in many place names and in the words of Old Norse that are still part of our daily vocabulary.

But I had heard the Vikings were back in Yorkshire, marching along the streets of York, the city they called Jorvik, encamped in Coppergate, trading and selling weapons in Stonegate and Fossgate. I was determined to go and have a look, and see what I could find. There was only one potential problem, Ragnarok, the Viking apocalypse, was forecast to take place on Saturday (News coverage: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/viking-apocalypse-2014-ragnarok-due-3153959). There was not a moment to lose.

Despite my boozing session with Bod, and an altogether miserable Thursday, I awoke on Friday morning with a spring in my step, well after I got up of course! I breakfasted, put a new Feather blade in my razor, shaved, and slipped my lucky Barlow into my pocket. I made coffee and sandwiches and slipped out of the house in good time for my pre-Ragnarok trip to meet the Vikings in Jorvik.

As I stood at my local bus-stop, little more than a mile out of Leeds city centre, I looked up to see a Red Kite majestically soaring high in the sky. These beautiful birds, which were once endangered, have seen a comeback in West Yorkshire in recent years, but I have never seen one so close to the city before. I hoped it would be a good omen.

I arrived at Leeds bus-station just in time to hop aboard a York-bound bus, and off I set to hopefully snaffle a few slipjoints before Loki’s wolf-son Fenrir and the Jotunheim ice giants came and wrecked the place. Perhaps others had also decided on some last-minute York shopping because the bus soon got absolutely packed, so much so that I decided to get off at Tadcaster and see if I could find anything there before I headed on to Jorvik.



Tadcaster is a small Yorkshire town, dominated by three large breweries, of which those of John Smiths and Samuel Smiths are the most famous. It has a good many pubs and small shops run along the main street for half a mile. It was in the back-streets that I thought I might find a small antique shop, but it was not to be. So, after stretching my legs, I jumped on the next bus to continue my journey.

I alighted at Micklegate, one of the impressive entrances through the ancient city walls, and called in to see an antiques dealer who is established nearby. His collection of sword-canes gets more impressive every time I visit, but he had no new slipjoints in. He’s a pleasant old chap and we chatted for ten minutes or so before I again headed down Micklegate, across the River Ouse, and into the heart of the city.



I soon began to see small groups of middle-aged Vikings wandering around. A few of them looked like they were just about to join the queue for Betty’s Tea Rooms as I passed. I knew that a couple of special ‘10th Century’ markets had been set up, but I hoped that with the influx of all these Vikings and extra visitors to the city, the regular market would be thriving too. As I walked towards the market, I began to pass various street food stalls, the odd mead stall, a mediaeval pottery stand, and WEAPONS stalls, selling knives, bows, axes, etc. People openly fingered the knives, children nocked arrows to bows, fathers felt the weight of a sturdy axe. Strangely nobody was running amok! If only the morons from the charity shops could have witnessed it.





The general market was no bigger than usual, but I was pleased to see that the stall I was looking for was there, filled with various tools and trinkets, a lot of table cutlery, and a few knives. Of course I checked out the slipjoints first, there was a clasp knife, but not in very good shape, a small uninteresting penknife with a blade missing, and a nice-looking MOP penknife, but with the blades hanging. I was a bit disappointed, but decided to look through a box of loose flatware. All the knives were carbon steel, and on a whim I decided to buy a few odd ones made by different Sheffield makers; Abram Brooksbank, Mappin & Webb, Issac Ellis & Sons. I found half a dozen marked ‘Federated Cutlers Sheffield’. The lady on the stall was telling me that a few leather workers buy the old Sheffield table-knives as the steel takes a good edge. I accidentally bought a duplicate Isaac Ellis & Sons, and certainly paid over the odds for the lot. I should have haggled a bit really, but I can get a bit daft around knives sometimes.







I decided to walk to nearby Fossgate, where a bridge crosses York’s second river, the Foss, and where one of the Viking markets was to be found. Down a passage between ‘The Hairy Fig’ cafe and delicatessen and ‘Cooper’s Barbers Shop’ lies one of York’s many fascinating buildings, the Merchant Adventurers’ Hall (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merchant_Adventurers'_Hall). Dating from 1357, it is the largest surviving old timber-framed building in the country, and is in beautiful condition. There was a small charge to get into the market, but it was worth it just to see the interior of the Merchant Hall. Up the ancient wooden stairs the market was arranged in the main hall, with costumed traders selling everything from bone combs and needles to exquisitely tooled leather belts. I chatted to a woman who had some bits of antler and horn for sale, buying a couple of strips of buffalo horn from her. A young Swedish Viking was selling flint and striker sets, which he demonstrated to me. He was a nice young chap, but the iron strikers didn’t look that good really, and like just about everything else, they were expensive.




I had a good look around, and then went outside to have a look round the building. I walked across the Foss looking for an old junk shop that I’d been to before down the bottom end of Fossgate. A sign above an archway said ‘Antiques’, but the place looked to have closed down. A bus inspector was re-routing buses opposite, and I asked him if he knew if it had closed. He said he wasn’t sure if it had closed down altogether or just closed for the day. I joked that if it was the latter they ought to get a new window cleaner!






I re-traced my steps up Fossgate and walked down The Shambles and into the market again. I had another look at the stall I’d bought the table-knives from. There was a nice cigar-cutter, but a bit pricey.







The knives I had seen on display on the Viking stalls looked to be of better quality than I’d expected, and I’d hoped to procure one, so I headed to another ‘10th Century Market’, this time located in a large tent. There were more stalls here than in the Merchant Hall, perhaps the charge to traders was less here, and it was busy with visitors too. A cheeky young Viking admitted me and I began to look around. There was a lot of jewellry, fur and leather goods, and plenty of spears, axes, swords, bows, and knives. I had a good look around, the best selection of knives were being sold by a Viking trader with a Geordie (from Newcastle and its surrounding villages) accent. Without interference, I had a good look through the knives he had. I asked about the various patterns, and he told me they were accurate copies of old designs, naming the odd pattern aloud. All the blades were wrapped in oil-smeared plastic, and I asked about the steel. “It’s a high carbon steel, not stainless,” he replied. “Me main market’s re-enactors, so they have to be as accurate as possible. A bloke in Sheffield makes ‘em for me.” As he spoke the final words, a bolt of light hit me somewhere between the lug’oles, and a large knife begin to twinkle in the light, falling into my hand as I reached for it. I had found the Wizard’s knife, perhaps the knife of Robin Hood!

After William The Bastard invaded England in 1066, he initiated a scorched-earth policy against the troublesome North, where there was still support for the Viking and Saxon kings, and opposition to Norman rule. William and his army killed every living thing they came across; men, women, children, and livestock. They burnt entire villages, destroying crops, and sowing the ground with salt so that nothing would grow for many years. Thousands were slain or starved to death, and the survivors took to the forests, where even there they were hunted by the King and his men. In 1075, a few days before Christmas, William and his army laid waste to Sheffield with fire and sword, killing men, women, and children alike. Every house was burned to the ground and the survivors were forced to carry the ruins away. To prevent the men of Hallamshire rising against him, or making arms for his enemies, William ordered that the town, (and Hallamshire, the surrounding area, which includes Loxley), should not be re-built, nor iron-works be wrought, nor the inhabitants be suffered to settle as owners of possessions, on pain of the King’s punishment.

Now, what sort of knife a forest-dwelling outlaw might have been carrying a hundred or so years later, I don’t rightly know, but I reckon a big old lump of steel like I had just purchased, wouldn’t have been a bad choice. Hopefully it could deal with a bit of hacking about, grollocking the King’s deer, poking some fat friars in the backside, relieving the rich of their plundered valuables, ‘avin it with the Normans, and slinging another sausage on the Barbie! ;)

Having bought the knife, and a couple of smaller ones as presents for others, I repaired for a celebratory pint at ‘The Yorkshire Terrier’ on Stonegate. A group of marauding Scots were down for the weekend for a birthday bash, and I had a chat with them. York has succumbed to invaders of all kinds over the years, from William Wallace to Cromwell’s forces. On the whole, they don’t seem to have done too badly for it.

I returned home with a feeling of contentment, even spotting another hovering Red Kite from the top deck of the bus. I was glad the Wizard’s Quest was over, the Wizard would have an interesting knife, and I could get on with other things, like earning a living.
 
But cruel fate had already dealt me a dirty blow (and it was only when I got to this point in writing up my tale that I realised it for certain). It was only several hours after I returned home, that I was able to give my purchases more than a cursory inspection. I withdrew the blades from the sheaths, and unwrapped the plastic film from them, wiping off the dirty grease. After I had given them a thorough wipe with a cloth, they looked awfully shiny I thought, and I became suspicious. The smaller knife had a small area of blemish, and appeared to have a couple of brown specks along the edge, which relieved my concerens. Afterall, it wasn’t as if I’d bought them blind.

I was busy last night, not least in writing up my Quest report from the previous day, and I got up early (at 5.00am) to write up this one. Later, I decided to sharpen one of the smaller knives, which like the Wizard’s had a convex grind, but a very dull edge. It took me about 20 minutes or so to get the edge sharp enough to slice through thin receipt paper, and I felt that it sharpened like stainless, and not good stainless at that. I looked at it again, there was definitely that small area of blemish. I did a bit more sharpening , but overall I liked the look of the steel less and less. I rubbed at the tarnished spot vigorously with a cloth, and it was gone. I sliced and chopped an onion. Then sat some vinegar on the blade. Then some Tabasco. There was no discolouration at all. I was forced to face the reality that the steel was stainless, and that I had been misinformed by the seller.

I’d started this piece in the full belief that the Quest was fulfilled and that I’d found a worthy blade. I’d intended to call this episode ‘Viking Treasure’, now ‘Poisoned Chalice’ seemed more appropriate. I thought about what to do, I wasn’t happy with the fact that some plastic Viking had taken a sizeable chunk of my hard-earned cash for something he had sold me on a lie. He’d known I lived over in Leeds and was only visiting York for the day, and usually these events only last a day. York was a five hour round trip away and I had other stuff to do today, but I decided I was going to go back.

It was only when I was on the crowded bus heading for York that I realised I hadn’t actually photographed the Wizard’s knife, as I’d been planning to take it out and photograph it properly today. My stomach burned with anger and I was unable to concentrate on the newspaper I’d bought for the long tedious journey. Eventually we arrived though, and I got off the bus near the top of The Shambles. York was absolutely packed, as I knew it would be.



I walked through a passage to the top of the market. There are sometimes a few empty stalls there, and I was hoping I could take a photograph there. Unfortunately there were no empty stalls, and a sloping old barrow was the only background I could find. I furtively produced the large knife, with its blade of about eight inches, and took a simple picture.

Without further ado I headed for the ‘10th Century Market’ tent, where I had purchased the knives yesterday, passing a group of Vikings using their mobile phones outside. The stalls had been moved a little from the previous day, and at first I thought the Geordie Viking had gone, but then I spotted him. He was clearly surprised to see me, and I approached politely. After saying hello, and verifying that he had told me that the knives he’d sold me were NOT stainless, I told him that in fact all three WERE. After beating about the bush for a few seconds, the cheeky monkey replied, “ Well thanks for letting me know. Is there anything else I can do for you?” At that point I was wishing it WAS the 10th Century, and I could have dragged him outside by the ear and left him in the mud, but I kept my calm, and told him that he could give me my money back. I produced the knives from my bag and put them down on the table. The wretched character then started back-peddling, asking me how I knew the knives were stainless, and showing he did not know the difference. “What’s a high carbon steel knife anyway?” He demanded. I showed him my Barlow.

I left with my money refunded in full, despite a last minute attempt to short-change me, but I was still enormously annoyed by the arrogant little chancer in a silly hat. I didn’t bother to look at any of the other stalls, for the moment I’d had enough of pretend Vikings. Soon after I walked from the tent though I was confronted by the sight of a couple of hundred would-be Vikings marching down the street in full battle dress, carrying axes, and shields, and spears. And to think I’d been wary about publically photographing a knife!










I went for a pint at ‘The Yorkshire Terrier’, and earnestly guzzled a pint of ‘Guzzler’ at the bar, since the pub was packed. I failed to get a pasty in a pasty shop, and then eager to depart before Ragnorak struck, I failed to get on the bus because it was too full. Fortunately another bus came 20 minutes later, and while this too was packed, I managed to squeeze on at least.

I got back home six hours after I’d left, exhausted, and having wasted my Saturday, because of some idiot who either didn’t know stainless from shinola, or was just a second-rate con-artist. If the Ice Giants of Jotunheim come storming along Stonegate tonight, and kick his sorry backside all the way back to Newcastle, it may be Ragnorak, but it won’t be the end of the world as far as I’m concerned!

Sorry for getting your hopes up folks, I thought I had it there, but it turned out to be a False Grail.

The Hunt Continues!

Jack
 
Wow!
A modern day Viking that does not know what the knives he's peddling are made out of. And he thanks you for telling him!

Jack, at least he didn't challenge you to a duel with axes for casting doubts on his integrity!:eek: Although I wonder how sharp his stainless axes were?

I think I'd have needed a pint or two after that wheeling and dealing.

Carl.
 
Sorry to hear about that fraud Jack. At least you got your money back.

“What’s a high carbon steel knife anyway?”

Hilarious!

This thread is quite timely. History Channel is set to begin its new season of "Vikings." Now I don't have a drop of Nordic blood, but there's something about watching Ragnar Lodbrok's saga that makes me want to take a whetstone and get to honing my hand axe.
 
I admire your sense of justice, and your determination to set things right, Jack.
You spent a little time and anger, but it was worth it IMO. Too many scams are successful because of timidity! That sure ain't you!!
I have more faith than ever, that your quest will succeed!!
 
Thanks for the tale Jack and sorry to read of your disappointment. One good thing from your double trip to York is that we get a double good read.
Many thanks for that. ... ADEE
 
Jack,
We knew that this was not going to be an easy Quest. Your persistance in pursuit of the Holy Grail is commendable.
The Worthy Blade will appear when least expected and we have faith in the Wizard to reconize it and present it to it's rightful heir.

On a high note, the photos and story get more interesting.
 
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Sorry to hear about the knives but it wasn't a complete loss, you thoroughly entertained us with your pictures and tale.
 
This thread caused me to remember something I heard a famous author (sorry I no longer remember which one) say in an interview some years ago: "The best plot twists are the ones even the author does not expect."

Looking forward to the next installment of the Quest.

Michael
 
With the folks selling items like that at least now you know why the Vikings were "hell-bent on pillage and destruction". I have never met a Viking re-enactor. The buckskinners and military re-enactors I have met would know the difference, and indeed are very picky. Trying to sell them junk would be a good way to get in a fight with a fanatic.

Hate to hear you came so close to no avail, but thanks again for a good read.
 
Really cool! I like that Merchant Adventurer's Hall. I wonder if some of my ancestors ever entered it. The last of my family lines to come to the US emigrated from Dalton-in-Furness around 1840. I also have one of my family lines traced back to William the Conqueror. There is a certain irony to the fact that William was of Viking stock himself (his grandfather was a viking who settled in Normandy), yet he went out of his way to squash any support for any other viking kings.
 
Thank you for today's tale. Samuel Smiths is one of the brands that is imported to the US. You might be tickled to know that it is sold in pricey 4-packs. My understanding is that it is a working man's drink in Tadcaster. Good luck going forward.
 
Sorry you had to go through that, but I admire your determination to right a wrong. And from the quest perspective all was not a complete loss as it made for another very interesting story and your pictures were terrific as always.
 
I enjoy your travelers and questing tales of York , its always a good read and a learning experience ,,, I now add to knowing that fake Vikings can be selling fake wares,,,who knew til now :)
I like a man that persists and responds accordingly to a flim flam , my hats off to you sir!
I look forward to your next outing and I wish you good luck and fair weather.
 
Thanks for taking us along on the adventure, Jack. Imagine: Vikings in Betty’s Tea Rooms. (Anything could happen!)

I suspect if you had come up to that stall, and told the fellow that you wanted stainless, he would have assured you that the knives were indeed stainless. Good for you for returning them. There sure are a lot of tricksters around these days.
 
Charlie summed up my thoughts on this chapter well.

Jack, you really are a gent for continuing so fervently on this quest despite all odds seemingly against you.

Glad to see you got to appreciate the marauders marching the streets though. Some of the seafaring visitors really know how to do Viking well don't they. The costume and detail is great.

I hope that scaly wag made no money!!
 
Many thanks friends for all your kind words and messages of support :)

Wow!
A modern day Viking that does not know what the knives he's peddling are made out of. And he thanks you for telling him!

Jack, at least he didn't challenge you to a duel with axes for casting doubts on his integrity!:eek: Although I wonder how sharp his stainless axes were?

Yes Carl, an honest man would have been grateful to be shown the difference, but he clearly wasn't that. I'm glad he was bright enough to remember that he was really just a clerk or bank manager in fancy dress.

This thread is quite timely. History Channel is set to begin its new season of "Vikings." Now I don't have a drop of Nordic blood, but there's something about watching Ragnar Lodbrok's saga that makes me want to take a whetstone and get to honing my hand axe.

Great stuff Christian :thumbup:

I admire your sense of justice, and your determination to set things right, Jack.
You spent a little time and anger, but it was worth it IMO. Too many scams are successful because of timidity! That sure ain't you!!
I have more faith than ever, that your quest will succeed!!

Thanks a lot Charlie, I'm like a terrier with a rat when it comes to things like this.

Thanks for the great story and as always beautiful pictures.

Thanks Bob. I'm afraid I only have a simple camera and the skills to match, but I'm sure an internet search on 'Jorvik Viking Festival' will turn up many better pics :)

Thanks for the tale Jack and sorry to read of your disappointment. One good thing from your double trip to York is that we get a double good read.
Many thanks for that. ... ADEE

Thank you my friend, nice to see you post :) The chap photographed using the hammer is a "runesmith" from Huddersfield!

Thank you Jack! My favorite so far!!!! :thumbup:

Thank you :thumbup:

The Worthy Blade will appear when least expected

Many thanks for the kind words Tim. Yes, that's how I suspect it will happen :)

Sorry to hear about the knives but it wasn't a complete loss, you thoroughly entertained us with your pictures and tale.

Thank you sir :thumbup:

This thread caused me to remember something I heard a famous author (sorry I no longer remember which one) say in an interview some years ago: "The best plot twists are the ones even the author does not expect."

Thank you Michael, I really didn't expect this one :)

With the folks selling items like that at least now you know why the Vikings were "hell-bent on pillage and destruction". I have never met a Viking re-enactor. The buckskinners and military re-enactors I have met would know the difference, and indeed are very picky. Trying to sell them junk would be a good way to get in a fight with a fanatic.

It makes you wonder how he gets away with it, told meI was the first person who'd ever complained, but then crooks always say that. Perhaps nobody has the chance to complain as they take him at his word and don't realise the fault until later. Or maybe he mainly sells to daft lads who've just read too many fantasy books, the less serious re-enactors. There was certainly much evidence of both sorts in York.

Excellent story today. I'm sorry you needed to endure a knothead, but I'm happy that you did so.

Cheers pal :thumbup:

Really cool! I like that Merchant Adventurer's Hall. I wonder if some of my ancestors ever entered it. The last of my family lines to come to the US emigrated from Dalton-in-Furness around 1840. I also have one of my family lines traced back to William the Conqueror. There is a certain irony to the fact that William was of Viking stock himself (his grandfather was a viking who settled in Normandy), yet he went out of his way to squash any support for any other viking kings.

It's an amazing building, I wish I had got better photographs. They say that there's not much honour among thieves, but you could say that about a lot of kings too! :D Those were certainly ruthless times. I often wonder what would have happened if either of the battles of 1066 had gone the other way. Maybe I'd be sitting in a pine sauna while flaxen-haired Ursula grilled some fish for breakfast, instead of drinking tea! :D

Thank you for today's tale. Samuel Smiths is one of the brands that is imported to the US. You might be tickled to know that it is sold in pricey 4-packs. My understanding is that it is a working man's drink in Tadcaster. Good luck going forward.

Thank you :thumbup: Sam Smiths are a very strange brewery, run by a notoriously eccentric owner. Their draught beers are the least expensive on sale here, but the bottled stuff is pricier.

Sorry you had to go through that, but I admire your determination to right a wrong. And from the quest perspective all was not a complete loss as it made for another very interesting story and your pictures were terrific as always.

Many thanks :)

I enjoy your travelers and questing tales of York , its always a good read and a learning experience ,,, I now add to knowing that fake Vikings can be selling fake wares,,,who knew til now :)
I like a man that persists and responds accordingly to a flim flam , my hats off to you sir!
I look forward to your next outing and I wish you good luck and fair weather.

Thank you very much. I bought a dodgy spectacle-cleaning product off two snake-oil salesmen in Knaresborough Market at Christmas. I've not seen them before, but I have a suspicion that they'll be there next Christmas. The product is sitting in front of me on my desk to remind me to go and confront them! A Yorkshireman and his pound notes are not so easily parted! :D

Thanks for taking us along on the adventure, Jack. Imagine: Vikings in Betty’s Tea Rooms. (Anything could happen!)

Thanks r8shell, I wonder if they went in! :D I imagine that there were pubs in York with signs saying 'Please leave your axes by the door'! As I was waiting for my return bus, a teenage lad walked past absorbed in texting on his mobile phone. In his other hand, he was carrying an 8ft spear, horizontally! :eek: :D

I suspect if you had come up to that stall, and told the fellow that you wanted stainless, he would have assured you that the knives were indeed stainless. Good for you for returning them. There sure are a lot of tricksters around these days.

I suspect so too. It was a long return trip, but I know that if I hadn't taken the knives back it would have been a source of irritation for years to come.
 
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