RR Those HSC knives

May 24, 1999
Well. We all bitch about them. we all make fun of them. We all secretly wish that we could buy them and not have anyone find out, just because it would feel so good to get 70 knives for $.50.

So. how about......

The HSC knife showdown. Are the 20-30 knives better than the one Ken Onion Kershaw you could buy for the same price?

Maybe that little 2.5" Spyderco ripoff can't cut for s__t, but it can stir the hell out of gravy.

Maybe the pseudo Benchmade with an Exis (intentional spelling) lock doesn't lock open, but has your neighbor asked to borrow any of your other knives?

Plus, the edge you get from the injection mold seam on some of the handles is beyond hair popping sharp, and what else are you going to shave your mother-in-law's upper lip?

And come halloween time, do kids want Snickers, or do they want a partially serated, ATS-Crap 1 1/2" liner lock. Be honest.

so. The challenge has been issued. I'm not looking for a shoddy, knee-jerk, it's sold on HSC so it's gotta be crap. I want someone to go out and test the heck out of those things.

I'm not talking spine whacks, lock tests, flexage, breakage, etc.

I'm talking about put the damn knife in a kiwi flavored jello mold and see how the damn thing tastes.
See how many times you can skip one in a frog pond.
Make sure gravity still applies to POS knives.
I bet at least one if not more of them could double as a pez dispenser.
Try performing miracles. Hand one to someone in a wheelchair and tell them to get up already.
See if it works as a pager, a GPS device, a shoulder-launched nuclear device, a short-range toaster, a microwave oven.

Betcha four spyderco ripoffs that the big hunka hunka burnin' man TACTICAL knife you get with the kit tastes better than your average pop tart.

So. The challenge has been issued. I would meet it myself, but I'm a college student, and have little to no money. So...

I eagerly await your results.


[This message has been edited by chizpuf (edited 21 October 1999).]
I was just coming to the computer to post about the HSN knives. I was just watching and a guy called in about the "Persian Dagger" he had just ordered. The guys on the show asked him, "Thank you for calling, is this the first time you've ordered?"

"No," says the gentleman, "I've been buying your COLLECTIBLE knives for the PAST 4 YEARS." (Emphasis is mine.)

I just about fell out of my chair. Here this poor sot has been "into" knives for 4 years and is still buying this crap.