I like that phrase, profoundly suspicious. I can relate.
I'm 35, and I don't know what I know or don't know. So, I just try to start from zero most of the time, listen and try to be fully present.
This reminds me of my Grandfather used to tell me about his experiences from his youth. He was Indian and living in the 30's and 40's. He used to tell me that he wouldn't always know what was the right answer for things, or what was right in a situation, but he sure did know bull**** when he saw it.
I'm glad that he told me that. Because, it explained emotions that I've had a lot in this life. I miss the old man dearly. He was the only enlightened person that I believe I have met in this lifetime, so far. I could be crude enough to have missed a bunch more though, never know.
This next comment is purely personal- when I read the book, Shambhala, I found some useful information. As I read more and more, something kinda felt like it was missing, at least to me. It certainly had a sort of compassionate element to it, but something was amiss. I know from the warriors path, that sometimes you have to fight a war. There has to be a, for lack of a better word at this time of night, a dangerous capability of a warrior, in order to handle bad situations. errr, maybe not dangerous, maybe "skillful means" is what I am looking for. But, my point is that if I say that I am a warrior, then I should have or be working towards practical abilities to protect my loved ones or serve my country. It's a yang to balance the yin. I didn't
feel that balance in the book- even in principle. And when I found out about his past, then I recognized what was going on. I can't explain it - it's all internal, but I just felt it wasn't getting the whole picture of a peaceful warrior's path across. Again, strictly personal opinion, and not representative of anything else but myself.
If you figure all the answers out at any point in time, please clue me in.
The more I learn the less I know.
Incidentally, I think he wrote a book on "Lion's Roar" too, but that was about something that predated possibly even Buddhism. The Lion's Roar Sutra, the Bon shamans of Tibet had the sutra and then the Tibetan Buddhists, Black Hats I think.. not sure which one had it first. The "Lion's Roar" referred to a point of spiritual awakening or realization.
Sorry for the long post- more talkative than usual tonight.
