Smoke / smart advice needed

hahaha, bruise, as always, you make my day. thanks for the laughter, where should I transfer the money for the indulgences?

I dont know, we'll see what happens tomorrow, but for today, writing this off my chest and talking to you helped a lot. I am confortable with the fact the I love her, and that she means the most in my life, and I will try to make the best out of the relationship to come. Whatever it'll be, we can only improve things from now on and maybe get even closer than before - girlfriend or just friend.

Doesn't mean I wont be depressed tomorrow, but I am fine today.

Keno
 
That is the most I've ever seen Bruise write at once. LOL.
 
Keno, although i could write a lot about the fact that the pain will go away, and new light will be on the horizon some day, knowing what you feel right now its kinda useless.

So instead i am sending positive thoughts and smoke, man.

Stay safe

ps try to watch some fussbal, it won't solve your problem but every second not thinking about her is a second without emotional pain.

Good luck
 
LOL. I thought maybe you paid by the keystroke.
 
Keno, my heart bleed once too, and it really hurt as well.

but hey from my experience it will heal in time. :)

Well hope that helps.
 
i too have just gone through this. it sucks. it's better today. maybe not tomorrow, probably next week or month...

take it easy on yourself! if you fall apart, it won't help you out down the road regardless... be excellent to yourself.

so, take yourself out to a nice meal, dress up, enjoy it. do things. even if it's sad making, get out of your rut, do new things... definitely eat good things, sleep goodly too, some shopping therapy too, a nice khukri :)

hang in there...

bladite
 
Smoke sent. Ditto Bruise's advice about self-pity: schedule an end to it and try your best to move on. If it's any consolation, the worst year of my life (which consisted of the breakup of my first marriage) has been succeeded by the best 12 years and still going. The pain will take some time to subside, meanwhile you need to be distracted from it. Don't isolate yourself, get back out there and participate in life. We're pulling for you.
 
Moving on...

Been at her place til 4 in the morning, it was a good night. Whatever we'll end up with, it'll be good. Going sailing now :D

Thanks y'all

Keno
 
richardallen said:
Moving on...

Been at her place til 4 in the morning, it was a good night. Whatever we'll end up with, it'll be good. Going sailing now :D

Thanks y'all

Keno
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Still sending smoke. eat well, exercise well and forgive.

Listen. Go for a walk with her and let her talk. Movement really helps. You both build up toxins in your systems. Mild exercise will flush them away.

Sometimes people have hidden agendas. Hidden from you and also hidden from them. Try to get her talking. Ask questions like

"What are you looking for in a relationship?" She will probably say, "I don't know." Never accept that answer, gently ask, "Oh well, make something up." With a little loving digging you will get some answers. The answers are there. Most likley she does not know how to get to them without you asking gentle questions.

I suggest that you try to avoid suggesting things she could do to make you happy. This ultimately won't work. She need to come to these realizations on her own.

BUT it would be helpful if you take yourself apart from her and ask yourself some hard questions. Are you the kind of person someone would want to know in a relationship?

Beer and cornflakes? Come ON! Is the pity party over yet?

Are there things in yourself that you would like to change to be a better partner? Yeah, one or two? Another suggestion: Don't 'fess up the changes you decide to make. Just do them and Know that for a while they will not be apparent to her. But after a while you will notice great changes.

How do I know? I work on this constantly. The only way I get myself out of my pity parties is that we walk, the new knee is working well. I let Anne talk. I try to take inventory of myself and think where could I be a better partner?

I decide what changes I want to make and give Anne at least two weeks to notice these changes. Sometimes she does not see them, but I am ok with that because I made them for me, not for her.

Anne and I have a wonderful relationship. But I tell you, folks, being in a relationship takes daily work AND communication. It is not easy.

But it pays off in the end.

Sometimes I have to realize that Anne has a few holes in her bucket. She is not perfect, but, youch, neither am I! And life with her is better than life without her. She has to work at this also and she does a magnificent job.
 
There is a time for grace and a time for cornflakes.

I feel for you.
At some point, being down and punishing yourself won't be rewarding anymore.
>>>>>>>>>>>

Might I reccomend munk's walk into the desert or high mountains, to get your body moving and heart and spirit free? (at the right time)
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I would second Munk's sentiments and ideas.

I'm sorry that happened Keno--I hope you feel like yourself again soon. Go easy on yourself..people make their decisions for many reasons (some that they tell you and some they keep in their hearts) and you can't blame yourself for all that went wrong in the relationship--chances are she has some reasons for getting out that are really all about her.
 
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