Attention Snow Pea & Tin GAW.....

Mine's not a legitimate entry; I'm just goofing around.

 

At first, I thought this was the clear winner (once the Bourbon was added)...

...but then I saw this one.

My deductive reasoning tells me if there are cool knives and enough bourbon, @k_estela will likely magically appear to save you no matter what. Now, if you happen to be with your significant other in this case...they may choose to stay with Kevin once out of danger. You've been warned.

 

Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.... I'm sitting there thinking about my huge adventure, the way I'll use the Maverick to skin a Moose or a dress out an elephant and the thought hits me that it does kinda look like the female form after all...



Then all of a sudden, my thoughts of the Alaskan Bush are shattered by the shrill call from the Kitchen where my Mother in Law wants me to go to Walmart and - no kidding, you can't make this up -- get some snow peas. You don't argue with this, you just go -- lest the next thing you know your fiddlebacks are in the dishwasher...



So I grab my UEK (Urban Enabler Kit) and head out.... Only to be stopped at the door by a loose arm on my glasses. Crap, been meaning to fix that, well now I can, and I do. Even clean up after myself.



From there, I'm off to Walmart, where things go way awry... You see, I'm not the best at parking in the Mini-van and I manage to maybe bump a bumper in the parking lot. I figure it's called a bumper for a reason, and I bend over to look at the damage and BAMMMO!!!! my button on my pants pops off and almost puts my eye out after ricocheting off the car I just hit. No problem, out comes the UEK and I quickly sew on a replacement while I wait diligently for the owner to show up and make a few calls. Well, wouldn't you know it, my phone is now low on battery, and I don't have a charge cord-- or do I? UEK comes through again! There I sit, and sit and sit, wait and wait... Then I think I see the person coming to the car and in an excited state unplug my phone and wouldn't you know it, it drops down under the seat into the dark abyss. CRAPOLA! Not only was it not the person who owned the car, I can't find the phone in the dark. And the phone was what I use for my flashlight. At least it was until I started carrying the Urban Enabler Kit. A quick twist of the LED flashlight head, and I found the phone.

Man, I was parched, I needed Snow Peas, and I needed to get moving, so I did what any respecting urbanite would do and just left a note, ran into walmart, grabbed some snow peas and headed to Starbucks! Yes, the Urban Enabler Kit has that covered too!



Mission Success -- Lets face it, everyday life can be pretty brutal sometimes and what you really need is less likely to be fire or drinking water, but a charge cord and a vanilla latte!

The URBAN ENABLER KIT

​

 

Riveting story well told. Much thought went into your tin. Excellent job!

 

Mine wasn't nearly as creative as SWO's. I kind of went with things I thought I would need to get food and water, the water part I struggled with a bit and only came up with zip-locks as a container. I know you can use sunlight under plastic in a cup as a type of natural distillery if you have something to catch it. I do have a spoon, a tin, and a tin lid so something could certainly be made there. Thought about adding in some type of cloth our wrapping in a sock as a sediment filter for water, or aged potato mash wild grapes (plenty of those around me). I figured getting the cup of the spoon was a nice idea because I pretty much suck at carving spoons in my very amateur bushcraft learnings but I can carve a straight stick and wrap it with cord or wire.





AND, before I posted the reply I got to thinking and thinking led to a test... picture the paper towel in water as some fermented fruit or carby/starchy veggie, water in the lid is cold water, and altoids distillery. Hopefully it's strong because you only get a teaspoon until we get a bigger container. If it were alcohol, with it's lower boiling point compared to water, this would have worked out much nicer I think.






Things are finally heating up



And, distilled water




In retrospect, don't bend the tin lid so much trying to make the dimple to form the distilled droplets. All of this was already in the kit, the paracord is wrapped around the aluminum electric fence wire, so I didn't even need to add anything except the dimple.

 

For reference, here's what I'm trying to achieve with my tin still. 2:20 is where the stock pot still diagram is made

 

Wow. Big day for the contest huh?

@NOLA - That is going to be hard to beat. At least I'll say this. If all the kits so far were on a picnic table, and no one was watching, and I had decided to steal one of them, I'd steal yours every time.

@swonut - Best kit based adventure for sure. Love the note!

@bikerector - it is a still. I can't believe that. You could easily ferment in a ziplock bag. No shit.

 

Working on it. Photos are done, just need to write up the scenario...

Phil

 

I have never attempted to put together general survival kit in an Altoids can before. I know that it is a popular discussion topic on the great outdoors forum here, so I decided to give it a go.

The Scenario:

I am going on a long day hike to a favorite spot in a So. Cal oak forest to enjoy a fine lunch and a nap before coming back out on the same trail. I have a day pack loaded out with all the food, beverage, and comfort equipment necessary for the mid-point feast. Of course I have my Altoids tin survival kit in my back pocket “just-in-case.”

When I reach my destination, I leave the day pack on the trail at the picnic spot while I hike into the trees to find a spot to “fertilize the soil.” After that business is complete, I return to find a Rodent of Unusual Size standing menacingly over my pack. He is clearly willing to do fierce battle to claim the gourmet delights he smells inside. This vicious beast is also blocking my return path. I carefully consider my fight or flight options. I remember that I have a small folder in my survival tin, but it lacks the Triad-Lock that would certainly tip the battle in my favor. Given that disadvantage, I decided to trust in my navigation skills and survival kit to find another way back to civilization...(to be continued below.)

The survival kit lay-out:



Zip Lock Bag - for water collection

Aquatabs - to treat the water

Compass - for navigation

Jute Twine - for tinder material and lashing things

Firesteel - to set the tinder ablaze

Multi-Tool - primarily for the pliers, nail file and blade

Bandaids & Neosporin - to seal wounds and prevent heavy bloss loss

Fizz Stick Energy Packet - to mix with water

Altoids Tin - for storing everything and *cooking*

Wide Rubber Band - to keep the kit closed

Starbucks Instant Coffee Pack - essential for preventing mindset destroying caffeine withdrawal

The packed kit:



Closed kit with rubber band:



A close-up of the pliers I need to grab the hot Altoids base off the fire after heating water for my coffee.

I also discovered that the compass fits perfectly on the rubberband. With this on my wrist, I feel like a real professional “Operator.” (I am just not sure if it is the Soldier, Surgeon, or AT&T 411 variety. )



I set-up a support base and rounded up some tinder to boil water for my essential coffee fix. The nail file on the multitool makes a good scraper.



After the little fire was going, I placed the Altoids base on the crossmember supports and filled it with water up to the hinge openings. I left it alone for a minute to select some small twigs to boost the flames. When I turn back to fire, I find to my horror that it is out because the Altoids base leaks water all over the place. This Epic Fail has cost me the hot coffee I need to survive.



With the nearest coffee shop many miles ahead over uncharted territory, I am now in an emergency situation. I take one deep breath and meditate for five seconds to re-establish my inner calm. I conclude that I have no choice but to go back and confront the Evil Rodent in a life or death battle for control of the trail.

Realizing I only have one chance to make this work, I use the remaining items in my survival kit to prepare for the battle. First I wipe down my face and hands with the Deep Woods towelette to get my stink on. I put the Band-Aids on my face to let him know that I have survived worse than he can inflict on me. I apply the Neosporin ointment to my cheekbones and eyebrows in MMA fighter fashion to prevent damaging cuts from his blows. I use the remaining jute twine to make a Rambo-esque headband. With the little blade out and ready to go, I understand how Frodo felt with only Sting to battle the Orcs. Mixing the energy drink and instant coffee with my remaining water, I am totally amped-up and ready for the confrontation.

Game face on. Bring it on Rodent!



When I reach the picnic site, I find the Rodent fast asleep in my hammock after consuming all my food and drinking the whole bottle of Kosta Browne Pinot Noir I brought. My sense of fair play allowed me to accept his passive surrender as a victory as I head on down the trail to the nearest coffee shop for a strong hot brew.

The End.

Phil

 

I waited too long and forgot to put my kit together. The kit would have been geared towards the swinging/night-clubbing/urban playboy, or towards the young soldier on-leave who is stationed somewhere exotic such as Thailand. It is for that unexpected moment when an irresistible cougar closes in on you as her prey, when the beer goggles are in effect, your judgment may not be up to par, and your head may not be in the right place. It's all about survival with this kit.

In any case, the kit would have consisted of:

-Condom
-Stick of Big Red chewing gum
-Handy wipes
-Large O-ring
-KY Jelly packet
-Viagra
-Small feather
-Pack of matches
-Two Cigarettes

 

Congrats swonut and Comprehensivist

 

Oh, crap. Is this over already?!? I totally missed the deadline (stupid work schedule).

Congrats to @swonut and @Comprehensivist !!

 

Ha, quite funny Phil!
At first glance, I thought the bandaids were used to cover up the self-inflicted wounds you incurred from jabbing that little blade into your own cheeks. You know, to let that critter know that you're a little crazy too!

Congrats bud.

 

Congrats to @swonut and @Comprehensivist! I laughed so hard at your post, Phil!

After doing a little searching, it doesn't look like I could quite fit everything I wanted. If the Altoids Tin were a 1/4" bigger in every dimension, I think I could have made it work. Since the contest is over, though, I thought I would throw out my idea.

The Urban EDC Survival Kit:

2500mAh battery pack for that extra 50% battery life on your phone

Olight I3E because there's 100% chance of it getting dark at some point

SAK Waiter Plus: corkscrew with small screw driver insert, backup blade, bottle opener, tweezers, toothpick, straight pin, and ink pen


Throw in your Snow Pea, a couple Wintergreen BreathSavers, and, if you can squeeze it, a $20 Visa Gift Card, and you'll be able to survive any long day at the office or late night at the bar!

 

At a boy Phil, the rodent may have made off with your bottle of KB pinot but you brought home the win along with Swonut.......Congrats to both winners and thanks for taking us on your spirited adventures in pursuit of the coveted Snow Pea !

 

Congratulations to @swonut and @Comprehensivist! Loved your creativity and humor!

 

Ditto, congrats guys! —-- but seriously @RobbieB your idea was VERY entertaining! This forum is THE BEST.