Something funny.

D

DiscusMan

Joined
Jun 30, 2011
Messages
107
I was in my yard disposing of an old Locust tree the wind broke down. If any of you know about Locust wood, it's very, very hard wood. Of course I was using my BAS just to see how it would hold up. The kuk did just fine. As I was chopping, (or attempting to, Locust is insane), a police officer stopped beside me. He had been further down the road breaking up a brawl. The people down the road drink way to much and end up in a fight once a week or so. My first thought was uh oh. The law in North Carolina is Khukuris are legal to carry as long as not concealed, or on educational property, or used to commit a crime. My chopping technique on the locust tree maybee considered a crime here. Anyway, he proceeds to get out of this car and walk over to me. I quickly put my knife down so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. I said "how you doing today." He said "good if those idiots down the road there would stop causing a roucous." Then he said he stopped to ask me what in the heck I was butchering that tree with, and if a chainsaw would work better. I agreed a chainsaw would be better at this point, but not nearly as much fun. He actually asked if he could check out me blade!! Of course I said yes. He spent about 15 minutes examining my BAS, and actually took a couple swings at the evil locust tree:eek: He was impressed I could tell, especially after I told him it was a smaller blade. He gave my precious back and asked all about where I bought it and if all the khukuris there are as good as that one. He thank me and proceeded on his way. The Ironic part about it all, he is the same officer that arrested me when I was 19 years old. Don't think he recalled me though, that was 17 years ago. But anyway, HI may have a new customer as a result of all that. He said he was going to warn me to watch out for the people down the road, but he collects knives and guns and had been looking for something a little more functional and attractive at the same time. Thankfully the knife laws in this state are not too bad. If I'm carrying a khukuri I don't conceal it anyway, I would rather it be seen. Just the sight of one should be enough to deter problems. Now if I can just figure out why I have wild pig tracks in the yard this morning. Wild boar is one animal I don't want to tangle with. Might ask Yangdu if the kamis can make a good pig hunting blade with some Nepalese flare to it.
 
A close shave with the law, no doubt of that. Some of my friends are convinced policemen and women exist to torment them and flaunt their ability to break rules in front of their disbelieving eyes...BUT! I cannot be convinced that all, or even most, police are two faced tormentors. Sounds like your local police man is a good one. I have to admit, I was one of those little demon kids who threw snowballs at authority figures, probably because they scared the blue blazes out of me, heck, they still kinda do. It takes a heck of a man or a heck of a woman to be a police officer, a ranger, a soldier, and other such things. Some days, I wish I could grow some adamantine cojones like them and go all 'You have the right to remain silent' on the beasties that think they own the streets. Maybe cuff some freaks one day, om nom nom some donuts the next, and even get my behind handed to me on a silver platter by my superiors when I accidentally arrest an old lady instead of the creature that robbed her. I doubt I would survive, and fortunately, for my sake, we won't find out how I'll fare in this life, but, hey, I can dream, right? Hopefully, this super duper police dude will join us everyday knife nuts someday, and return the favor in some way, some day, though I guess he sort of returned the favor by not giving you any trouble about your great honking knife, right? Anyway, I don't know much about locust wood, though it says acacia in its name, so I have no doubts it is hard, seeing as the acacia family produces some of the hardest, densest, most twisted and fiendishly enmeshed grain in wood history. They use acacia in cutting boards often because of its hardness, and most ironwoods, I find, are good for lathe work, though I MYSELF have done no work with a lathe, I simply observe that all the ironwoods and other similar extremely hard woods with complex grain turn remarkably well and are worth the trouble. Does the tree look good? Lots of heartwood, darker colored wood with little to no bark inclusions and what not? I would not dare ask you to give locust wood away for free, but if you wanted to be rid of it, and it looks like a beautiful thing with lots of figure, I'd be glad to take some of it off your hands for whatever your asking price. I saw some locust wood on Etsy, and man was it GORGEOUS. It's heavy enough to make little live edge intarsia or inlay, jewelry and trinkets, I could even sand or Dremel it to a high luster...as you can see, I am going to town already. I have Paypal, so, if you are interested, just let me know, if not, also let me know.
As for your piggy-pig-pig, I would be EXTRAORDINARILY CAREFUL. Those babies can move with a will when they want to, and kill with relative ease with those tusks and teeth. Even with a blade in hand and enough muscle to subdue a bear, I STILL would not tangle with wild boar. But, it's your choice not mine, just...choose wisely.
Anyway, I'll see you around, DiscusMan, let me know if you are interested in my proposal for your locust tree's demise (muhahahahaha), and whether it looks like a keeper or not. Peace.
David
 
Locust attributes. Moisture and rot resistant, more than treated lumber. Has the grain of oak color it with gold that shifts with the light. Tougher than Hickory. Extremely low rate of expansion and contraction. All that says to me it would make an extremely good khukuri handle! I've seen fence posts in the ground 75 years old and still solid. I can't possibly charge you for a few pieces of locust since it grows everywhere around here. I would gladly gift you a few pieces as long as they are not 20 feet long due to shipping. I'll start looking for some seasoned pieces if you let me know what dimensions you're looking for. Thought about asking Yangdu if she might ship a few pieces Nepalward for the kamis to try out.
As far as the pig, I have no desire whatsoever to tangle with a wild pig. If it's outside my door, I'm staying inside! But let me know about the locust. Another interwesting fact or two: locust wood glows under a blacklight. It's also hands down the best wood for making watercraft out of.
 
I was not really thinking length would be an issue as much as weight. I would locust would weigh quite a bit... I was thinking about this, and I'll only ask this once so as to avoid irritating you or anyone else: Are you seriously sure about this? I can still shell out an upwards of 60 buckaroos for this venture.
Assuming you are sure, and are almost, if not, all the way, offended by my suggestion, forgive me, I did not mean offense. Assuming you forgive me as well, here we go: I hear that trunk wood is the sturdiest, strongest, most stable wood to be gotten, the closer to the base, the better. Originally, I would have paid shipping and handling at least to put us both at ease a bit, but you offering free shipping and whatnot...that changes things. Obviously, I can't just ask you to X-cut the whole shabang into giant tree cookies and send them to me, that would be unacceptable unless you won the lottery or have money to kill. I don't mention that to make room for asking in depth questions about your economic status, that would be 'uncool', what I meant is to simply ask if you could do some processing of the wood for me in order to make much easier to ship, like, say, cutting them into manageable pieces or something. If you DID just win the lottery, and you tell me that, then, by all means, make my whole miserable year into a year of happy and send that tree on a Freight train for DelaWHERE? :) I'm totally kidding, you hardly know me, and I would be more than happy to leave and your newfound wealth be. Anyway, I will basically take as much wood as you can find it in you to give me, the more locust I get, the happier I will be, especially if it is in relatively intact pieces, as in, like cross sections of the trunk almost, but, again, that is most likely an impossibility unless this is a bonsai or shimpaku you can palm or something like that. Let me know your limit, and we'll work this out from there.
Oh, and thanks a billion, dude. Just the thought of being sent raw material to work with means a lot to me, (I'm not gonna cry, I'M NOT GONNA CRY!!! *sob*), and if you need anything from me, short of selling my soul, heart transplant, and anything TOO major, just let me know. Peace, man.
David
 
I'll saw up a few pieces this weekend and send a few your way. I'll email you to get your mailing address once I get them ready. I wish I could send the whole tree, but that's not likely. Let me poke around the woods out back, there is a thicker tree that fell earlier this year. They almost always fall trunk intact, just the way they are. I just wasn't sure if you were wanting to make a spear out of it or a carved item. I wish I had won the lottery. If I find out it's more for shipping than i can afford, I'll let you know. I was just asking about size because the locust around here are rarely more than 6-7 inches in diameter, but there are a lot of them. So you're looking at 5-6 inches diameter after removing the bark and such. I'll go for a hike in a day or two and see what I can find that's managable.
 
Okay, that works for me, thanks a lot. Peace. Oh, and, if it is not too much trouble, could one piece be a 12 or so inch block that is big enough to make into a toy boat? My cousin's are clamoring for the day when they can see me (and poke me, and wear me to nubbin's from sheer exhaustion from chasing the little beasties around) again, and if they find out I forgot about 'em in terms of Christmas, it'll be DEATH BY KIDDIES (Dun dun DUN...). So, thanks, good tree-hunting, and hope you have fun on your hike.
David
PS they would make great khukuri handles. Someday, when I finally decide I am capable of driving (or taking a train, whichever...), I will round up some Cantina-goers, including you, if you are capable of coming on that distant day, and we'll have a grand old time modifying knives and khukuri's. I won't make it a promise, but it would certainly make life more exciting and something to look forward to if it was a definite possibility on the horizon. It would be so cool to meet the people behind the common names here...oh well, not right now.
 
If you mean 12 inch x 12 inch x 12 inch, that will be hard to find. I looked today and the thickest diameter piece I could find was 7 inches or so. They are mostly fence post size trees at max. I know they get bigger, but I haven't seen one that size in a long time. So 6-7 inches trunk diameter is about the max I can go right now. People here don't like locust much except for firewood, mainly because it has large 1 inch thorns all over it. But yea I can get you a slab about 6-7 inches diameter to about 10-12 inches long right now. I'll ask around though to see if anybody has any bigger this week. The HI guys would be fun to hang out with in person, but we are so all spread out across the USA. Himalayan Imports should have a prearranged meeting place in case of the Zombie appocalypse. After the dust clears we'll start our own country, with our own American Ghurka Army!
 
Yeah, that would be great! Thanks, dude. Peace.
David
Oh yeah, the 6-7 inch by 12 would be perfectly fine with me. My cousin's aren't picky as long as it comes from me and not the store. For some reason, they idolize me, probably because I actually play their little games, instead of getting caught up in pretending to, or waiting for it to be over. American Gurkha's all the way! :)
 
DiscusMan - where do you live? I lived in Sylva growing up, and I still have family in Franklin and Asheville.

Yup, Locust will put up a fight, but it sure is a long-lasting wood for certain applications. I don't remember seeing any tool handles made of it, mainly because there was so much Hickory around. I think every tool my grandfather had in his garage had a handmade Hickory handle.

Is there any Dogwood on your property? That was another one that my dad hated having to cut up, and would dull chainsaws and edged tools fast.

All the local LE's I knew were really good folks.

~Chris
 
Several years ago I was privileged too put a new handle on a khukuri and seein as how I had come into a slough full of Honey Locust I opted to make the new handles outta it. I can't recall if any pics were taken of them or not but sure seems like it as I took severe artistic license with the handles on the karda and chakmak. Needless too say the characteristics of the Locust makes it a wonderful wood for khukuri handles.
The one thing I'm not real sure about though is if the Locust holds the pretty honey yellow color for any length of time or if like Osage Orange it turns an almost dark chocolate color after a few years, especially if exposed to the sunlight??? :eek: :foot:
 
for the backyard walking bacon, i'd want a knife with a really long handle. and a cross-bar to keep the cross piggy from crossing the line of unwanted proximity when you stick him. a few dogs to keep him occupied for a while also is a good thing.
Richard%20Boar.jpg

(richard swinney, not me ;))

they have been known to get angry when stuck and push their way down the shaft until they gut you.
 
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Yea, like I said. I don't want to tangle with a pig unless I have no other choice. Plus I love my AmStaff too much to put him in harms way like that. Not that he would hesitate to take on mr piggly wiggly, but they've been known to kill dogs given the chance. I'll just call my wife's grandfather and he'll bring his .44 magnum over and handle it. Of course the thought of pig hunting with only a knife has a primal sort of appeal to it.
 
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