Spare a thought for our good friend Mr Paul Hilborn.

Oh Man!!! I am not ashamed to say, I wept reading this from my brother Duncan, he and I video chat almost every weekend and have for years, he has been on this journey with me and my dad since dad was officially diagnosed with dementia. My dad recognizes the good in people and has his entire life. When he met Duncan there was an instant connection, they clicked, they had so much in common, the love of competitive combat, Duncan in martial arts and dad in the ring. They also shared the love of dogs, kindness for your fellow man and both being a hit with the girls :)

Dad was somewhat of a surrogate father figure to Duncan and dad embraced Duncan as more than just a friend. Dad ALWAYS asked about Duncan, and even when dementia robbed so much from my dad, he'd still say in a weakened voice "greet Duncan for me"

Dad and I took road trips up to our local lake EVERY thursday without fail when he lived in town at assisted living for a year. When his dementia was beyond that of assisted living we moved dad to memory care 30 miles west. He was there for a 1 1/2 years and again I visited every Thursday without fail unless the roads were impossible to travel and ND has a way of shutting down the interstate in the winter time. All told I missed a total of five Thursdays in 2 1/2 years:)

I knew almost immediately that dad and I would battle this together, the fighter and his son, instead of "Tuesdays with Morrie" it was "Thursdays with dad" Dad was the pilot and I was his wingman and in the end, yesterday at 11:37am dad broke formation. I was blessed to have my father live to 91, he knew this most likely would be his final fight because several of his siblings had this terrible disease.

Dad didn't back down, in fact he fought harder than any fight before. We worked together and found ways to keep the worst part of dementia away, the anger that consumes so many. Even though he lost the ability to comb his hair, shave, brush his teeth, dress and in the end, even walk, he NEVER became angry, he smiled EVERY day and I mean every day. Since I was young, we'd squeeze each others hand 3 times...I LOVE YOU and even though he struggled to talk he'd resort to our old stand bye and squeeze my hand 3 times.

So thank you Duncan, I love you brother and thank you everyone for all your kind comments and to dad...I LOVE YOU!!!
 
Very well said Paul . I sent you an E-Mail . I also looked your Dad up on Ancestry.com . Found a few pictures of him in school . He was a handsome young man and into a lot of sports , as well as boxing , but I expect you knew that . I feel for you my friend . It will get a little easier as time goes by but it will never go away and that is okay . After 29 years I still miss my Dad . I will keep you and Nanc in my prayers .

Harry
 
So sorry for your loss Paul. Thank you to you and Duncan for sharing with us the memory of your father. Like Harry said it gets a bit easier with time but after 22 years I still miss my dad. Prayers for you and your family.
 
Campbellclanman said:
Hi Folks

Paul doesn't get to pop in here as much as he did, but in saying that he regularly pops in and hovers around, throws the odd post down, and that guy is a Tradtional Knife guy as good as anyone through and through.

Paul lost his dad just a day ago, Russell Hilborn.

Russell was a great guy and I met up with him a couple of times when visiting Paul in North Dakota.

Russell was 91 when he passed away, he came from a family where his Mum had 14 children and pretty much by herself she raised these kids.

Paul has told me stories of the hardships they faced when young, Tuberculosis had Paul's Dad in a Hospital home for - forgive me as I am not sure but I think it was over a year or two years!

Russell in the 50's was a brilliant Boxer as an amateur boxer before he got into the Golden Gloves Russell never lost a fight and was the holder of the Golden Gloves, he retired from Boxing as he saw a more stable future for his family in running a business in those days, he never suffered a defeat.

Paul sent me a video of Russel only a couple of years ago with Russell on the Swivel Sped Ball - Wow!! he still had it down pat!

I remember looking at Russell, he would have been 84 or 85 years old, folks Russell's shoulders were so so broad, I haven't seen that on a man that age, there was no droop at all- quite a remarkable man, I asked Russell who he thought was THE best Boxer of all time, the immediate answer was Ali, I asked whether he thought Tyson might have eaten him up if they met in both their primes- no...no was the answer.

Russell was married to Marlys and that Lady is a pure sweetheart, the couple lived in Valley City for the summer and shot down to the warmer climate during Winter where they had a house as well, Russell worked hard, darned hard, he was that generation of man where he worked hard, saved hard and built an impressive business and future for himself and especially his family, Russell installed this into his children,and it shows in Paul.
Russell over the years built up an amazingly successful business called Empire Furniture, I think he also owned other businesses.
Paul is an Apple that did not fall too far from that Tree, and Paul and his lovely Wife Nanc purchased the furniture business from the previous owner and took it over and turned it into something quite amazing- I think Russell was extremely proud of them both to have done such a remarkable job turning that around into a great success.

A few photos...

Marlys, myself and Russell and of course wee Lulu

SyAnes5.jpg


Out to Lunch with Paul, Nanc, JC ( Marlys's son and Paul's very good friend) and opposite me Russell

H9qWhDI.jpg


The terrible alzheimer's took Russell, but that man fought hard, it never turned him into anything nasty, he was still always kind and polite and a bit of an outrageous flirt.
Nanc ( Paul's wife ) is an absolute darling of a Human being and she has seen her own Mum be taken by this curse, and is one of those special few who have that gift who take care of the sick or dying almost like an Angel, Paul is lucky to have this wonderful Lady and she no doubt along with Paul supported and Loved Russell right through, here is Russell in a care home with his hero.

NwfMmhE.jpg


Paul was / is SUCH a great son to his Dad and hand in hand they went through that journey together...

I9HFoEz.jpg





The last time I drove away from Russell and Marlys's place I felt that agonizing sadness, I really, really liked that man.
My thoughts and Prayers go out Marlys, Paul, Nanc and of course their boys Gage and Beau, and to Russell's sons, one of whom Russell I am sure has met up with again, his boy Tad.
Click to expand...
What a wonderful tribute, Duncan. Your friendship with Paul and his dad is truly special.
paulhilborn said:
Oh Man!!! I am not ashamed to say, I wept reading this from my brother Duncan, he and I video chat almost every weekend and have for years, he has been on this journey with me and my dad since dad was officially diagnosed with dementia. My dad recognizes the good in people and has his entire life. When he met Duncan there was an instant connection, they clicked, they had so much in common, the love of competitive combat, Duncan in martial arts and dad in the ring. They also shared the love of dogs, kindness for your fellow man and both being a hit with the girls :)

Dad was somewhat of a surrogate father figure to Duncan and dad embraced Duncan as more than just a friend. Dad ALWAYS asked about Duncan, and even when dementia robbed so much from my dad, he'd still say in a weakened voice "greet Duncan for me"

Dad and I took road trips up to our local lake EVERY thursday without fail when he lived in town at assisted living for a year. When his dementia was beyond that of assisted living we moved dad to memory care 30 miles west. He was there for a 1 1/2 years and again I visited every Thursday without fail unless the roads were impossible to travel and ND has a way of shutting down the interstate in the winter time. All told I missed a total of five Thursdays in 2 1/2 years:)

I knew almost immediately that dad and I would battle this together, the fighter and his son, instead of "Tuesdays with Morrie" it was "Thursdays with dad" Dad was the pilot and I was his wingman and in the end, yesterday at 11:37am dad broke formation. I was blessed to have my father live to 91, he knew this most likely would be his final fight because several of his siblings had this terrible disease.

Dad didn't back down, in fact he fought harder than any fight before. We worked together and found ways to keep the worst part of dementia away, the anger that consumes so many. Even though he lost the ability to comb his hair, shave, brush his teeth, dress and in the end, even walk, he NEVER became angry, he smiled EVERY day and I mean every day. Since I was young, we'd squeeze each others hand 3 times...I LOVE YOU and even though he struggled to talk he'd resort to our old stand bye and squeeze my hand 3 times.

So thank you Duncan, I love you brother and thank you everyone for all your kind comments and to dad...I LOVE YOU!!!
Click to expand...
Paul, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's passing. He sounds like a wonderful man and he leaves a legacy of love and friendship. My sincere condolences to you and your family. My he rest in peace.
 
Paul, so sorry for your loss my friend :( Your dad sounds like a wonderful man, and it's heart-warming to read of your close relationship with him. My condolences to you, Nanc, the boys, and all your family ❤️

Duncan, thank you for writing such a detailed biography, it was very moving to read about Paul's dad, their relationship, and indeed, your own friendship. I'm glad you were able to get to know him in the way you did, and I am sure you touched his heart. Good on yer mate :thumbsup:
 
Thank you everyone for reaching out to Paul and his family and for your nice comments,

Traditionals here is just so good, and I knew that Paul has many friends here, and Paul my friend thank you for coming in and posting.
Really thinking of you all there, I wish I was closer.
 
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