Off Topic STRESS

I’ve learned the hard way not to dwell on that which I do not control! It is an effort in futility. Really, if you think about it for only a few minutes, the list of shit we do not control is infinitely longer then the list of things we do control. It’s sometimes worth noting that all people except yourself fall into the category of things you cannot control. This includes wife, kids, family, coworkers, etc. The way I cope with these facts, that I do not like but have learned to except, is to do my very best with the few things in life that I can influence and control. That way when “life” happens, and it will, im the best prepared to handle what it throws at me and I sleep well knowing that I’ve done the best job I can do with that which I can actually move and effect. The rest I leave to God, because all the rest is beyond my influence and that’s not on me.

Best wishes and good days my friends.
:)
 
Also - there is the "what will this outcome I am worrying about going to mean in 1, 3, 5, 7 years....".

I would bet most of what you are worrying about you wont even remember worrying about and/or the outcome you were worrying about so much did not matter in the grand scheme of things. "Decision A or B" - will it really matter if you make one or a handful or "wrong decisions"? It depends on the context. Work, maybe so. In real life where your family loves and supports you, almost certainly not. I was in this cycle very, very bad, and even the delusion that other people were acting funny or had a plan, every word meant something than face value, and I felt isolated and fearful. Worry, stress, anxiety and fear of outcomes can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies leading to the exact outcome you do not want by beginning to believe that things are already too far out of control, so beware of that. You cannot act or manage very rationally in a state of worry/anxiety/fear. Try and stay calm, make a short list of things to tackle that can actually effect an outcome, and move on. In my personal beliefs, worry and fear are of the devil, and the devil is trying to knock you off of your square, and sink low and think ill will towards others - mistrust those who have no reason do decieve. Do people have a reason to be acting funny around you? If not, pure devil. If they might, take a look at your behaviors and modify. Communicating and being honest about what is going on with loved ones and trusted advisors works wonders. Everyone doubts themselves, trying to pretend it is not happening to you and holding it all in will lead to the spiral and self-fulfilling prophecies

PLUS 10,000 for exercise of any kind. It is the magic pill everyone searches for. Do something different, as far as going outside. If you are not a weights guy, or runner, drive yourself to a park and walk briskly for a long while. Count to 1000, or 5000, or repeat wise phrases you believe in over and over. Just ideas - do something physical and active to break your routine. Don't just go do physical chores that you have to do anyway, do something for yourself in this sense.

I have been there and revisit that place from time to time, never dwelling there too much before reaching out to buds or family and being honest about where I am.

I also pray everyday, and I will not go too far into all that.

Good suggestions from all above.

My email is wcbigler@gmail.com if you ever want to coordinate a phone conversation.

C
 
U812 - very cool that you feel comfortable bringing this to this forum...says a lot about a lot of aspects of this group.

C
 
I almost didn’t post this. COPIUOS COPIUOS comment made me realize I should. I tell people all the time how to be healthy. Like a teacher, I’m lucky to get 1 in 20 - give or take.

I will give some thoughts, since it’s not mentioned.

A lot of men approaching middle age - in it or past it - have no idea of nutrition. Even if they do...they don’t practice it. Nutrition is a long term investment. (My words.)

Generally, speaking, most men have years (decades) of alcohol usage under their belt. Diabetes is knocking on their door. Viens are starting to block by this age and the circulatory system is suffering. Therefore, your brain and other organs are not getting the nutrients one’s body needs. At this age, most men still think they’re 33 and not 43+ and it’s a recipe for disaster.

Based on practical experience:

-80%+ of the men who have an unexpected heart attack have non existent K levels.
-I think most behavioral and mental disarray comes from lack of PROPER nutrition/nutrient delivery based on long term abuse.
-Most individuals will eat food their body is telling them not to, but it’s much more fun to throw a band-aid on and do what one wants. EX: put the Rolaids down and listen to your BODY. Your pants didn’t shrink in the washer.
-At this point one has been drinking for 2 decades. Your drinking has increased as your tolerance and so has your age.

I can’t stress enough to watch the salt that one eats. Kosher or pink salts are acceptable. Do not eat table salt. That eliminates a lot of food, but if you’re eating right it will come naturally with diet. A proper sodium to potassium ratio is 1 to 2. Try for 1 to 3 but be proud of 1 to 2.

Our bodies are on the downward spiral, why individuals treat their bodies worse with age has always puzzled me. It’s not over until it’s over.

Anxiety is very common at this age. A complex life with people depending or dependent on you becomes overwhelming. Cannabis is the best substance for anxiety, if you have to take one. Do not go to more alcohol or Benzos. Horrible substances. They start killing you, from the first dose.

Men don’t talk about their health problems before something bad happens. All that stress means you’re one step closer to the big one - heart attack or stroke.

These signs and disposition is your body telling you to chill out. Take of yourselves, men. Our success and complacency are our worst enemies.
 
HST said:
A lot of men approaching middle age - in it or past it - have no idea of nutrition. Even if they do...they don’t practice it. Nutrition is a long term investment. (My words.)

Generally, speaking, most men have years (decades) of alcohol usage under their belt. Diabetes is knocking on their door. Viens are starting to block by this age and the circulatory system is suffering. Therefore, your brain and other organs are not getting the nutrients one’s body needs. At this age, most men still think they’re 33 and not 43+ and it’s a recipe for disaster.
Click to expand...

This pretty damn close to what I was thinking but I was listening to a Podcast and then I came across some interesting info.

There is some really powerful information contained here:


Take the time to listen if you have it. It will bring you a perspective of your life.

The "science" starts about the 19 min mark if you want to skip past.
 
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Thanks to all. I think all will pass a good bit in a couple weeks when I take a week off and leave everything at work and get a little Blade Show fun.
I have not taken a day off just for myself sense Christmas.
 
JohnTheTexican said:
About that nutrition stuff....


Click to expand...
I just laughed at that. Funny you should post it. I have only eaten a very little bit of BBQ a corn dog and something called a Tornato from a gas station sense last Thursday. On the bright side I have lost 10 lb. Think I will just keep it up and drop some more.
 
It’s the gym that has helped me the most. Being that my wife an I are currently stationed in Puerto Rico, we have gone through a rough time in the last almost 2 years that we have been here and it is easy to get into that stress about everything loop. Was really bad after the storm and losing most of our household belongings, but while stressing my body in the gym vs my mind over things I couldn’t control I realized: physical things can be replaced, by going through such an even as a family we have become much stronger in our relationships and as a family, we found a new nice place to live that is hands down better than our old place.

In addition, diet helps a ton in just how you feel and how you handle stressors. It’s easy to get caught in it all and we all still relapse, but exercise has worked for me for over a decade to deal with stress.

Best wishes
 
... so ironic I read this, I was in our shop this afternoon that's got a 4 week wait time currently and customers ringing off the wall - As I was waiting my turn for the manager I noticed a cutout on the wall that said
"If you think you're having a bad day, go lick a stranger on the face so you can appreciate how easy you had it yesterday"
Lots of wisdom here but I suspect most times, if nothing else a little relief comes from letting it out alone. I recently dumped on a good friend just because I knew he had been curious. We had a couple exchanges and man, it felt amazing just to unload.
After I had seen this I was also talking to a gal at work, we started about the same time and got a cool brother sister thing pretty much. She goes, "You don't look happy, whats up?" ... I said, No, not really anything but tell me, what do you recall when you think of a really happy time? She said, oh shit that's easy, in the 80's LOL! I said me too! and I know why, we didn't have to worry about tomorrow back then because we didn't care, we living for the day, the evening, the night. Tomorrow wasn't even in the top 50 ... A dear friend of mine who is as much a brother as I will ever have since we were kids, and who has done extremely well for himself in life told me once "some of the happiest people I've ever met lived on the poverty line" .... this coming from a guy who's country club membership I couldn't afford and traveled in pretty elite circles. The only difference between he and I, his issues have more zeros on them LOLO!!!
So how does one find that mindset from a day when we didn't think about tomorrow so much? ... maybe that's the secret.
 
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