stupid knife show questions

I think that the one that I'll not forget was: "So you make knives? What do you make them from? Steel?"

I wanted sooo bad to tell him that the bronze age was over centuries ago but kept my cool.

Or this one:

question: "What would you use a knife like this for?"

my answer: "That is a hunting knife. Most of those will end up
in deer camp."

reply: "Really! I didn't know that you could hunt deer with
a knife!"

Gary
 
One of the best ones that I have ever heard was one that allegedly happened to Bill Moran. As the story goes, a woman was at his table with her husband and was checking out the name stamp on his blades. As they left the table, she was heard to say "how can they ask that kind of money for knives made by a Moron?" No idea if it is true, but it's funny!!!!:D
 
jdm61 said:
One of the best ones that I have ever heard was one that allegedly happened to Bill Moran. As the story goes, a woman was at his table with her husband and was checking out the name stamp on his blades. As they left the table, she was heard to say "how can they ask that kind of money for knives made by a Moron?" No idea if it is true, but it's funny!!!!:D
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That's classic. My most embarrassing question was about 8 years ago at one of the New York shows. I think I was at Gary House's table and looking over his mosaic stock. Saw a "silvery" square and as I reached down to pick it up asked, "What's this?". He replied with a grin, "It's a tape measure to check the length of the blanks..." :D
 
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"You make knives huh? You ever cut yourself?"

No all these scars on my hands and fingers are from my wife biting me during sex!

Duhhhh!

STR
 
I always get people asking where I get my blanks from. Mostly because at all the shows I go to there are at least two or three people selling knives they made from kits at prices higher than mine
 
coolhandluke4 said:
I always get people asking where I get my blanks from. Mostly because at all the shows I go to there are at least two or three people selling knives they made from kits at prices higher than mine
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Well, the lesson to be learned from that is if the other guys stuff is selling, CHARGE MORE MONEY!!! :D
 
Kevin Wilkins said:
"Where do you buy the blades? is always a winner!
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And how many different languages have you heard that question in?:D Of course, that is actually a legitimate, non insulting question in many parts of Northern Europe.
 
STR said:
"You make knives huh? You ever cut yourself?"

No all these scars on my hands and fingers are from my wife biting me during sex!
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Too much information my man!:D
 
Actually asked of me at shows over the past 30 years:

Are these knives real?

If I drop this knife on the floor will it break?

And then there are the ones we call tornadoes, because when told the price on a really good knife they blow air through their teeth like a windstorm, "Wheewewwwwwwww".

The classic: "I'll be back."

Response created by Lynn Watkins of Hickory Hills Cutlery: "Great, your "be-back" number is 33, please be sure to remember that so when you come back I can mark you off the list".

Caution: only say this to someone you never want to see in front of your table again.

My favorite was from the late knife dealer Paul Davis.
Customer: How much is that knife?
Davis: $900.00.
Customer: I'd give $400.00.
Davis: "That's all right, I'll just keep it and wait on someone to come buy with enough money to afford it."
 
Lay out a table of commercial knives, Buck, Case, Queen etc. all well marked, and someone will always come up and say "So you made all these knives huh?" "Yep, that is why I need the big dollars like $50 for the trapper you are holding. Handmade quality like that don't come cheap!" :D
 
Some years back at a show in SoCal, this guy who looks like Hannibal Lecter comes up to my table. He's got on a long sleeve shirt and tight leather gloves. He asks how to get fingerprints off a knife. I asked what he really meant, since apparently wiping it off wasn't an option.

He went on about how the police could get prints off a gun thrown in the river a week earlier, so what would it take to get the prints off a knife. So I snowed him with BS about amino acids etching the blade and DNA and all kinds of stuff, and told him to sandblast it. He asked whether that was the only way, so I told him if he wanted to reliably do it he'd have to destroy the knife. He mumbled and walked off.

The next day he's back and starts coming on to my daughter, who looked 15 but was actually 26. She's getting really creeped out and I'm getting angry. I tried to figure out how, without screwing my 2 1/2" Model 19 S&W into his ear, I could make him go away. I found the solution.

I looked at him and said "Gee, I see you aren't wearing your gloves today." He looked down at his hands, turned, and literally ran out the door.

I still don't want to know.

Gene
 
I enjoy knife shows, and I pay to get in. I sometimes may only have enough money (in my budet) to get into the show. I had no intention of buying anything. I walk and scan through and look, and strike up conversations with friendly vendors. If any are stodgy or cranky scowl faced, I move right along. I thank them for letting me look, and compliment them if I am impressed. I may ask what a scale material is that was unfamiliar just so I know, I generally do not ask to hold anything. I do not feel obligated to buy.

I did a bad thing once, and I am pretty sure I pissed off the vendor, but it was a question asked of me. It was in regards to a Case clasp knife in stag. The price was 400 on the knife. For some reason the guy inquiring about it asked me how much he thought that knife is worth. I did not know the man. I told him I knew it was a 70s knife and had seen stag Clasps for 200 or so, maybe even a little less. This knife was nice, but not mint, and the blade had a little wobble. I did not mention that. I was not thinking about the vendor, only the question at hand. I own a Bull Dog in wood, and saw pricing on the clasp, so I knew my answer was close enough to accurate, I may have even high balled. I heard the vendor say something to the effect that "I was another expert." I was actually going to ask about a price on another item at the table, but at that point, I was insulted, and was not going to buy even a grail knife from him. I vowed to keep my mouth shut from then on.
 
I have seen a lot of customers and abide by what Jimmy Lile told me years ago. "If they buy the knife, they are an expert to us..."
 
Thanks everyone... this is fun, though in the interest of good marketing I guess we should keep our snappy answers here and not unleash them on the public.

I like to tell people I lift their fingerprints from the knives (for my collection hehehe)...
 
I know what it is like to do a trade show. I have stood in a booth for 2 days, set it up the day before, and tear it down and head for the last flight home in a mad dash. I had many dumb questions come through. Sometimes, the questions are from people feeling awkward and trying to break the ice, which is where most of the zingers come from. Making a good impression is what a show is all about. This forum is where you should vent, sort of an exhaust valve, so you can be ready for the next show, and bite your tongue at the stupid questions that come your way. That stupid question may be coming from a buyer with loads of cash. I know shows can take a toll on the psyche, but, you gotta remember during the show, you are on best behavior.
 
If I drop this knife on the floor will it break?
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I saw Mr. Norm Levine drop one of his knives on the floor at a knife/gun show in Atlanta one time. He did what we all do; he got out of the way and let it fall. The blade broke into several pieces. That was embarrassing to everybody that was standing there. I put the boot knife I was looking at back on the table really carefully.

We all get questions that seem kind of dumb at times, but you never know who your next best customer is going to be. It could be the guy that just asked a question that didn't indicate that he knew much about knives. I talked a guy at the Blade show through buying a knife for a son that was going to Iraq. He ended buying all four of his sons a knife. It always makes me feel good to see someone that is new to custom knives at one show come back to the same show the next year. I'm going to have to agree with cj65 that I find myself just explaining things to those that don't have a clue and hoping that good will come of it. Maybe not at my table this year, but if the person gets interested in custom knives maybe he will be one that comes back.
 
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