Stupid things you've done...

Mirror-Saw said:
Hahaha i love that guy.
Click to expand...

I love people like your friend. They're so entertaining. I'd much prefer to be around someone like him as opposed to some pretentious ass who screws up all the time but would never admit to any of it. Everyone does stupid stuff from time to time, that's what keeps life interesting. :D
 
Needle, that's a sad funny tale, sorry to hear you didn't find the money though! I know that when you don't have any, a little means a whole lot!

And the rest of you guys and gals, make me feel almost normal...almost ;)
G2
 
Last weekend I fixed myself a couple hot dogs for lunch...went to the kitchen, got a can of soda, a glass of ice, and the bottle of ketchup. Sat down, picked up the bottle of ketchup and proceeded to squirt it into the glass of ice.

In case you're wondering, I did not pour soda on my hot dog.

It might even have been the same day, as it was about a week ago I was looking all over the house for my sunglasses and finally gave up. A little while later I bent over to do something and my sunglasses fell from the visor of my baseball cap, where they had been all along.

I was on quite a roll last weekend, even for me.
 
It didn't happen to me, but I have a friend who was drunk and went to drink out of his can of beer, but grabbed the wrong can. Next thing I knew, he ran to the sink and started vomiting- turns out he drank and swallowed a cigarette butt.
I was laughing my arse off.
 
Stupid things I've done?...Oh, you mean like causing myself to have to receive 9 stitches that cost $2000? (with NO medical insurance)...THAT'S pretty bone-headed.:eek:.
 
Rat Finkenstein said:
It didn't happen to me, but I have a friend who was drunk and went to drink out of his can of beer, but grabbed the wrong can. Next thing I knew, he ran to the sink and started vomiting- turns out he drank and swallowed a cigarette butt.
I was laughing my arse off.
Click to expand...

A buddy of mine did the same thing, but it was chew spit. I was also laughing my arse off.:thumbup:
 
At work, Part of my job this day was to cut steel banding off of blanked steel so the guy feeding the press didn't have to stop. You use a special tool called a banding cutter to do this. The bundle of banded steel is on a roller table and the top of the bundle is at eye level for me. The press was down and my boss is standing right near where I am working. I slide the banding cutter under the banding on the top and squeeze the handles and it's not cutting. So I start pulling down on the cutters which usually helps tear the banding. Unknown to me is that on top there is a double layer of banding I am trying to cut. I pull down and squeeze harder and finally the banding pops. The tool pops up and the cutting end pops me right between the eyebrows. My boss is looking right at me. Blood running down my nose.
 
I just remembered another, Third grade, the teacher is talking about jobs in social studies class. I'm not paying attention. He is asking the kids what they want to be when they grow up and why.( I learned this after I answered) It was near halloween and I had watched a Lon Cheney movie sunday afternoon with my father on TV. The teacher gets to me.

Teacher: Andrew,
Me: What?
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Me: Um... A Werewolf
 
Sat next to a wall with a pellet gun loaded and pointing up. Butt against one ear and a finger of the other hand in other ear. A hat on my head. My friend balanced a 7.62nato round on the muzzel.

I pulled the trigger.

My friend said that all he could see was an amazing flash before I keeled over. All I recall was sudden pressure and crawling away from the wall. I was deaf for 1/2 hr and spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on the floor of the bedroom with the friend applying tweezers and germaline. The giggling didn't stop for days.
 
In 6th grade I brought an 1856 Colt navy revolver to school for show and tell. I had asked the teacher the day before if I could do so. Apperantly he thought I said pre-civil war gum, not pre-civil war gun.

Amazingly the only punishment I received was a detention.
 
The list of things is long and inglorious, but one knife-related one comes to mind:

I'd just sharpened my Fallkniven A1 to a shaving edge. I strapped it onto my bergen and went for a stroll in the woods.

Deep in the forest, I suddenly decided that some knife throwing would be fun. I drew the A1 and let fly at a tree about 20' away. It must have been a very bouncy tree, because the A1 hit it and headed straight back for me at high speed.

They say that your whole life can flash before you in an instant. Mine did as I watched 6" of razor-sharp steel flying, glinting, towards my heart.

It hit me sideways on, or the average intelligence of the human race might have risen by 0.00000000001%.

I am now a little bit wiser, and rarely suffer from constipation.

maximus otter
 
I was 7 when I decided to take up golf having watched my elder brother play a match with my father. I grabbed an Iron and ball from my brother's bag and teed up on the front lawn.

It was a beautiful shot, over the firs into the neighbours garden. It continued through the neigbours lead & glass front window, removing a small pane, ricoched back taking out another pane on the way out. I ducked into the house.

Some 11 years later, after a sporting accident in the pool my father took me to see an ENT specialist, (also our neigbour). Having examined my burst ear drum he took down a small box off the shelf and returned my ball with glee. His words were I knew that some day you would come through my door.
 
Okay I've got one. One night I came home from a long day at work when the telephone rang. I answered to hear a telemarketer on the other end of the line. The gentleman asked for me by name. I thought to myself, "No, I'm not here. I don't want to talk to anyone."

Then I responded, "No, I'm not here right now." Hahaha!!!

I started laughing hysterically right after I said it. It's funny because it was totally unintentional. I know people say crazy stuff to telemarketers all the time, but I was just really exhausted. I don't believe that I was being completely dishonest though.

Okay, maybe it's not as funny in print... :D
 
Back when I was in the Coast Guard, I was putting on my uniform in the morning and still a little groggy. I threw a pair of black socks over my shoulder and wandered into the living room to put them on. After a few minutes of watching the news I realized my socks still weren't on, and were nowhere to be found. I went back into the bedroom - nope, not on the bed. I didn't have time to search any more so I got out another pair and put them on, put on my shirt (light blue trop, like USAF) and went to work. When I got home that night, I took off my shirt and found my black socks, right where I left them - on my shoulder. That light blue shirt clearly showed the socks through it, and nobody at work said a damn thing!!!

Another quick one - I once had a boot Ensign as my DivO who woke up at 0300 and thought she fell asleep at lunchtime and missed a 1400 meeting. She called the Ops Officer's stateroom to apologize, at which point he informed her of the difference between 3:00 am and 3:00 pm. :D
 
Great thread.

At my Aunts house after school. I was around 7-8 years old. Mom would pick me up from there later on during the day. My older cousin was pretty much an ass to me most of the time as I was now the younger brother he never had.
There's a field behind my Aunts house the size of 2 football fields and it contains maybe a maximum of 6 trees. Cuz decides to chase me with a bow and arrow as if to shoot me. I freaked and ran. Ran and ran way into the field. I was running and turned to see how far behind he was. I see him stop running and drop the bow and start pointing and shouting. I turned and that's the last thing I remember until waking up in the ambulance with my skull cracked open. Only needed 7 stitches luckily. Damn tree.

Incidentally, the same cuz was giving me a piggyback ride on his shoulders and dropped me onto a patio brick walkway. Broke that arm.

Running for the bus to get to college, I was trying to tie my shoe while walking. I stepped on my thumb and fell over. Buddy still cracks up at that. So did I.
 
Tim-Gabz reminded me of this one.

When I was just a wee lad all the kids had BB guns. (You'll put your eye out!) Someone came up with an old .30-06 cartridge and we got a bright idea. We pushed it into the ground so that it was flush with the surface and the primer facing up. 6 of us stood in a circle and shot at the primer from about 3 feet. I don't know if anyone actually hit the primer or what, but it didn't go off. After about 5 minutes of this we got bored and looked for something else to get us in trouble. As far as I know, that cartridge is still there.

It's a good thing that the emergency room was free in those days. At least I think it was. I made numerous trips to the ER and I never saw my folks pay anything.
 
My friend was coming over by subway for the next days fishing trip.
He left his cooler and tackle box on the subway platform & got on the train.
Gone by the time he got back.
He bought all new stuff, cooler, tackle box and lures.

The next week he left his tackle box at my house.
Thinking he'd call, I let it go.
When he did call it was all frantic and PO'd.
He bought and filled yet another tackle box.
And wouldn't let me keep the one at the house either.

Don't think he left anything behind after those 2 weeks either.
:D
 
Oh man Emanuel. Every violinist in the world dream about playing a Stra..... and you actually destroyed one eh?

When i was 7 or so i played a prank on my best friend where just when he was about to sit i put a newly sharpened pencil. He screamed in pain and when i saw him stand up the lead wasn't in there anymore. It was in his bu++. I got a lot of scolding from the school teacher the next day.

The rolling car thing happened to me as well. Just got my license a few weeks and drove into the driveway excited 'cos i wanted to go and play my electric guitar. Whilst i was playing i heard the car alarm. I thought, damn, someone's trying to steal it. I went downstairs and saw it stuck at the electric gate. I thought the thieves probably tried to steal it but couldn't get the car out. Then i went near the car and saw it was still locked and was still on drive. Obviously my dad wouldn't let me drive for quite awhile. If the electric gate had been open it would have rolled across the road into my neighbours house and probably hit one of the construction workers working there.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top