Stupidest thing you've ever done in the woods...

[task force k]

I've got the topper.

When I was young, my parents let me live in the woods for weeks at a time during the summer as long as I checked in every couple of days. I'd fish and hunt and trap and just generally lived out my Jeremiah Johnson fantasy. I'd washed my clothes and hung them to dry one evening when I decided to gather ground apples from the Filipino farmer's orchard that bordered the woods. Understand, I was wearing nothing but boots but it was quite late and dark and the orchard was only twenty yards or so from the irrigation ditch that separated the woods from the farm. I'm sure that it seemed like a good idea at the time but I'm not sure why. I haven't even gotten to the really dumb part yet.

I had an armload of ground apples when I heard the sound of a shotgun being racked coming from the path I'd just taken. I dropped the apples and ran, parallel to the irrigation ditch and out into the raspberry field, hoping to hide amongst them.

So, I'm kneeling, naked, in the raspberries, getting ready to make a break for the woodline, when the farmer's niece shoots me with a load of rocksalt right through the rasberries. (I learned the difference between cover and concealment that night). Some of you are wondering how I knew that it was the niece that shot me but that'll come later.

I jumped up like the devil himself had bitten me on the ass and ran, bleeding, towards the woods. I saw the irrigation ditch ahead and did a long jump over it that Carl Lewis would have been proud of, right into a patch of Blackberry. Anybody who grew up in Washington State can tell you I was in a bad way, the Blackberry thorns there can get as long as your thumbnail. Rather than do the smart thing, get low and crawl under the bushes, I covered my eyes with one hand and the wedding tackle with the other and, in pain and terror, tried to bull my way through. Still not the dumbest part.

I came out of the Blackberry bushes about thirty yards later and ran, straight through a patch of stinging nettles.

Here comes the dumb part. Four years later, I was dating this girl, a real cutie, half Filipino-half French...had the greatest accent. One evening she mentions how she shot this "naked fool" with rock salt in her Uncle's Orchard. I broke up with her the next day...that was the dumbest part.

Here's another piece of advice: Don't go skinny-dipping in a glacial-fed lake with a girlfriend ( when the water's that cold, you don't make a very impressive figure coming out of it ) but if you're going to do it any way...don't lock the keys in the car.

 

[silenthunterstudios]

I deer and duck hunt on a farm that also has a few cattle. The land owner / farmer made it clear that coyotes and dogs were not wanted on his property. I had not seen any but he said there was a pack of seemingly wild dogs that had killed a couple calf and he said if I ever saw them, shoot first ask questions later.
I was sitting in the duck blind when on the other side of the bijou two deer chame running by at full steam. I thought to myself, THat's odd... then about 45 seconds later a mangy dog came by right on their trail. my mind went into action and I stood up with my 20 ga and shot. The dog was about 80 yards out and I knew i couldn't kill it from there, but at least I could get it off the deers trail.
I knew id' hit it when it whined and pulled a hard u turn. I cracked open my shot gun and was reaching for two more shells when I heard " where the hell are you??" The fellow was out for a stroll with his dog and I shot it. He was tresspassing and had no right to be there but he was pissed anyway. I felt terrible. Offered to pay vet bills, but he came to his senses and got out of there before anyone "official" realized he was on the wrong property.

Glad you didn't have the bad luck to pop one of the farmers pups, that sounds like Murphy would make that happen.