The crap non-knife people say

W

wvryn

Joined
May 6, 2012
Messages
77
Being the users and abusers of knives, I'm sure we've all heard the average person who knows nothing about blades say some downright silly (or even offensive) stuff about us or our blades.

To start us off, here are two I've personally heard.

"What's your deal with knives? They're just sharpened pieces of metal".

"I have a new knife too. It has R2-D2 steel, super hypo handles, and a backwards tanto blade".

Share the non-educated dribble below. :)
 
I like when people invite me the day of, to do something that requires some planning: camping, a ball game etc. And when I say "I really can't afford to go and do that." They say "Oh, but you can afford your high end knives can't you?" I then usually follow up with "Take a hint".
 
I was stopped by a cop the other day with a few knives on me (I was going to sharpen them) and he said "Man, you must be ready to go to war! What are you planning on stabbing?" Luckily my friend replied immediately with "He's going to open a lot of envelopes," and the slight tension was immediately broken. I love having good and smart friends.
 
One day at work, for whatever reason, I could not get a bag of junk food chips open. Guess my fingers were a bit slippery and they just kept slipping off the bag. SO I whip out my trusty Military and zip the bag open no problemo. He says "You know you could be like everyone else and open that without a knife. That's totally unnecessary." Oh so cool, another co-worker whips out his knife and opens a bag of something or other. The easily offended party went to to his little corner shaking his head.
 
Customer comes in and asks for a knife working on his car. I hand him scissors.

"What good are these, I need to tighten a screw?"

I hand him a screwdriver.

Should anyone wonder why I don't loan my knife anymore.
 
A customer saw me cutting some packaging up with a yellow Mini Grip.

"What's that you got?" he asks. Thinking he was a knife guy, I proudly tell him that its my go-to EDC, a USA-proud Benchmade.

To which he scoffs and says: "Benchmade!? Never heard of 'em! Do yourself a favor and go get yourself a real knife, like one of those new Gerbers they're making. Now those are REAL knives!"

Clearly, the man needed some help in the knife-knowledge department...
 
PaulTR said:
A customer saw me cutting some packaging up with a yellow Mini Grip.

"What's that you got?" he asks. Thinking he was a knife guy, I proudly tell him that its my go-to EDC, a USA-proud Benchmade.

To which he scoffs and says: "Benchmade!? Never heard of 'em! Do yourself a favor and go get yourself a real knife, like one of those new Gerbers they're making. Now those are REAL knives!"

Clearly, the man needed some help in the knife-knowledge department...
Click to expand...

That one there is down right funny!
 
I was cutting cardboard in pieces small enough to fit into a roll around bin. My co-worker walked up and asked,"why don't you tear that up by hand?" I replied," that will take forever." He then said," you'll dull your knife cutting with it..."

Another time, a vendor that stops by monthly showed me his new knife he got at, of all places a gas station. It literally said "Law Enforcement" on the plastic handles. He said ," I know I'm not a cop, but the black coated blade keeps it sharp forever. It never requires sharpening. I thought that was pretty good for $7.99"
 
PaulTR said:
A customer saw me cutting some packaging up with a yellow Mini Grip.

"What's that you got?" he asks. Thinking he was a knife guy, I proudly tell him that its my go-to EDC, a USA-proud Benchmade.

To which he scoffs and says: "Benchmade!? Never heard of 'em! Do yourself a favor and go get yourself a real knife, like one of those new Gerbers they're making. Now those are REAL knives!"

Clearly, the man needed some help in the knife-knowledge department...
Click to expand...

Now that's what I call comedy.
 
I always love when people talk about their knives being made with "surgical steel", or that their blades "never need sharpening".... sigh.
 
"were you bullied a lot in school?"
"you don't have a girlfriend?"
"you had family problems?"
"ever had a brush with the cops?"

being too lazy to think of good answers, i replied yes, none, lots, many times.
 
btw, here in the philippines, NKP have only one standard with regard to knives: must be able to pierce a silver or nickel coin without damage. never lend your knife to a filipino without conditions.
 
"Do you carry a knife everywhere? Why would you need to?"

......after asking to borrow mine like 10 times....
 
"You paid 80 dollars for that knife?! I mean it looks cool but not THAT cool."
In regards to my mini grip
 
My neighbor saw my Strider PT which I purchased from the Naval Exchange for $225.00, and said if I would do him a favor and get him one, since he thought it was the best looking small pocket knife he ever saw. I said sure, and that it would cost him $225.00 out the door. He looked at me funny, thought I was BS'ng him, and said nobody in his right mind would even spend that kind of money on a knife, not even on some fancy kitchen cutlery from Germany; I replied that I never did have my mind right. He did say he was thinking maybe $50.00, which he thought was appropriate for the Strider.
 
Alnamvet68 said:
My neighbor saw my Strider PT which I purchased from the Naval Exchange for $225.00, and said if I would do him a favor and get him one, since he thought it was the best looking small pocket knife he ever saw. I said sure, and that it would cost him $225.00 out the door. He looked at me funny, thought I was BS'ng him, and said nobody in his right mind would even spend that kind of money on a knife, not even on some fancy kitchen cutlery from Germany; I replied that I never did have my mind right. He did say he was thinking maybe $50.00, which he thought was appropriate for the Strider.
Click to expand...

At least he gave it that much credit and not $20 like the kinfe from the local sporting goods store ;)
 
Non knife people: mom and girlfriend,
"Could you stop." (At me flicking my benchmades open and closed. ;)
I have converted my gf atleast to a degree. I gave her a leek, she sometimes carries. Also got her a flashlight! Uses it alot.
She uses my blades on a pretty regular basis, however.
 
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