Jerry Busse
Moderator
- Joined
- Aug 20, 1999
- Messages
- 12,108
I realize that the multiple Jerries are a pain in the katookis for the new guys. . . . and they're an even bigger pain for the girls in the office when they try to sort through the hundreds of emails. . . . But gosh darn it, I like the deceitful little porkers!!! :thumbup: They exemplify the true spirit of the INFI HOGs . . . . They stay!!!. . . "NO REGRETS!"
Amidst the flood of BloodBathaGanzaaaa emails were a number of emails that were filled with questions about the mysterious Man/Beast. . .The INFI HOG. . . . I will answer those here. . . .
Q: What is the true meaning of the cloven hoof salute?
A: The cloven hoof salute means, "I will trample you on the way to the trough and I will wipe my muddy, bloody cloven hooves on your INFI-less carcass as I return home with the spoils of war!!!" Thus the reason we make the up and down motion with our hoof during the salute. . . it emulates the trampling and the wiping of the hoof on your fellow HOG!. . .
Q: Why is "NO REGRETS" the battle cry of the INFI HOG????
A: The phrase "No Regrets" can mean either "Yowza! You just trampled the truffles right out of me on the way to the trough. . . . but I'm okay with that." Or, "Yowza! I just trampled the truffles right out of you on the way to the trough, and I'm okay with that!" . . . See? It works either way. . . Just like "aloha" which can mean both "hello" and "goodbye". . . . It's the aloha of the HOG or the AloHOG if you will. . . . NO REGRETS!!!!!. . . :thumbup:
Q: Isn't it unfair to use deceit and treachery to score a knife from under the snout of a fellow HOG?
A: Deceit and treachery are the tools of the INFI HOG . . . If you take them away, it is like declawing and defanging a lion and then expecting him to still be an effective hunter. . . he won't be. . . he will starve!
You can't know the sublime joy of HOGDOM until you make it to a show and experience burning your fellow HOGs, live and in person. . . Here's how it usually goes. . . A knife is soon to be offered. . . you drop a contact lense and start crawling around on the floor asking people to be careful where they step. . . You surface in front of the table with the crowd behind you still trying to help find your imaginary contact lense. . . . The knife is offered. . . In a flashbang of monumental proportions with blood, beer, cigars, and half of the HOGs still looking around on the floor for your lense. . . it is over!. . . The smoke clears and you stand victorious with your newest chunk O' INFI in hand . . .errrr. . . in hoof. A hush quickly overtakes the trough as they realize what has just happened, and you walk victoriously through the gauntlet of slackjawed HOGs who, slowly but surely, applaud their own demise from under your cloven hoof because your Pork Fu was stronger. . . You return to the relative safety of your hotel room where you slide your new INFI blade out of its cardboard sleeve, causing the smell of burnt bacon to fill the room, and you know, that at that moment in time, you are the king of the trough, the alpha boar who ate his own. . . . you are at that moment in time, a HOG of legend!
Nuke on my wayward HOGs!
Jerry
Amidst the flood of BloodBathaGanzaaaa emails were a number of emails that were filled with questions about the mysterious Man/Beast. . .The INFI HOG. . . . I will answer those here. . . .
Q: What is the true meaning of the cloven hoof salute?
A: The cloven hoof salute means, "I will trample you on the way to the trough and I will wipe my muddy, bloody cloven hooves on your INFI-less carcass as I return home with the spoils of war!!!" Thus the reason we make the up and down motion with our hoof during the salute. . . it emulates the trampling and the wiping of the hoof on your fellow HOG!. . .
Q: Why is "NO REGRETS" the battle cry of the INFI HOG????
A: The phrase "No Regrets" can mean either "Yowza! You just trampled the truffles right out of me on the way to the trough. . . . but I'm okay with that." Or, "Yowza! I just trampled the truffles right out of you on the way to the trough, and I'm okay with that!" . . . See? It works either way. . . Just like "aloha" which can mean both "hello" and "goodbye". . . . It's the aloha of the HOG or the AloHOG if you will. . . . NO REGRETS!!!!!. . . :thumbup:
Q: Isn't it unfair to use deceit and treachery to score a knife from under the snout of a fellow HOG?
A: Deceit and treachery are the tools of the INFI HOG . . . If you take them away, it is like declawing and defanging a lion and then expecting him to still be an effective hunter. . . he won't be. . . he will starve!
You can't know the sublime joy of HOGDOM until you make it to a show and experience burning your fellow HOGs, live and in person. . . Here's how it usually goes. . . A knife is soon to be offered. . . you drop a contact lense and start crawling around on the floor asking people to be careful where they step. . . You surface in front of the table with the crowd behind you still trying to help find your imaginary contact lense. . . . The knife is offered. . . In a flashbang of monumental proportions with blood, beer, cigars, and half of the HOGs still looking around on the floor for your lense. . . it is over!. . . The smoke clears and you stand victorious with your newest chunk O' INFI in hand . . .errrr. . . in hoof. A hush quickly overtakes the trough as they realize what has just happened, and you walk victoriously through the gauntlet of slackjawed HOGs who, slowly but surely, applaud their own demise from under your cloven hoof because your Pork Fu was stronger. . . You return to the relative safety of your hotel room where you slide your new INFI blade out of its cardboard sleeve, causing the smell of burnt bacon to fill the room, and you know, that at that moment in time, you are the king of the trough, the alpha boar who ate his own. . . . you are at that moment in time, a HOG of legend!
Nuke on my wayward HOGs!
Jerry
the heart was racing as i banged out the email,i couldn't believe how quick i got it away....yeah right
good stuff,i fall for one at every Ganzaa,it adds to the fun :thumbup: :thumbup:
Sorry, had to say it first.
I swear that was a B not an 8.... Ah, well.....
