If you ever see documentaries of shoeless folk like those in the Amazonian basin, or Africa, look at their feet. Their toes are straight, the soles broad, and they usually walk with feet pointed straight ahead. This is how nature intended we walk. If toes were meant to point out the side we would have bills, not lips, and eat slimy green things from the bottoms of ponds.
Imagine putting thick leather on your hands every day, then cinching the leather down so tightly it gnarls your hands. Imagine permanently deforming your hands so they look like the arthritic claws of an 80-year old; but you're only 12. Imagine removing the leather every day to be greeted with a stench that would slay dragons and wilt roses. Who would do it?
You were born with the ability to move your toes individually, but shoes have killed your sensitivity. Instead of having a 2nd pair of hands down there to sense the ground, you have hardened insensitive clumps of smelly flesh that pound the ground with all the grace of a defensive tackle playing "Bop the mole" in an arcade.
Shoes are EVIL! This is one of our cultural blinders, like chairs with 90 degree backs. We routinely do things to our bodies that are harmful over the long run, but we don't realize it because we've grown up with these insidious habits...they seem normal to us. Yet, how we look down our noses at the old Chinese custom of foot-binding women. Do we not do the same, the difference only in degree?
Who will join me? I'm starting Footshoe Control, Inc...our aim, to keep shoes off the feet of every American. Shoes in the home contribute to the breakup of the family. They contribute to the spread of disease. Nearly all homicides are committed by people wearing shoes...and almost all victims are shod (West Virginia excepted).
And we'll go after the corporate greedsters first. Big Shoe will come unglued. Dr. Scholl's will no longer be able to profit from the misery of the bunioned, the calloused, the steaming masses...
This is only the begrinning...
