The Male Conspiracy! Women keep out!

Arrrh! me matey's
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, we be using BBCH on arrh good English bottoms, none of that there froggy metrics fer a reeel english pyrate, them's BlackBeardsCrotchHairs give or take a gnat's eybrow (we always takes, arrrh!) to ye landlubbers
(.003 in. in good old anglo-saxon with a tolerance of .0005 in.)
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p.s. - Arrrh! an' we've done plucked edward teach's nether place bare fer distributin' ter all them pyratical bilge rats out on the ol' spanish main.....
 
kronckew said:
skosh Linky , a bit too loosely defined for an engineer.

squirmin' herman, the one eyed german is also a vague standard of measurement.

these all need tabulation and standardisation.
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Who cares if its off a CH . If it doesn,t fit you are not using a big enough hammer . L:O:L
 
Bill , here is a visual for you . My first bicycle had solid rubber tires . (No comments on my age .) No shock absorbtion of any kind so you can imagine it was a rough ride .

I went over a big bump and my posterior lifted high off the seat . The seat which had broken off due to said bump went flying . My butt slammed down onto the broken welded bracket which held on the seat .

You can imagine the rest . I can still remember the pain to this day . Good thing it missed anything essential .

Rectum ? ....... No , but it sure brought a tear to his eye . L:O:L

I did hoist myself off my own petard though . L:O:L
 
Kevin the grey said:
Bill , here is a visual for you . My first bicycle had solid rubber tires . (No comments on my age .) No shock absorbtion of any kind so you can imagine it was a rough ride .

I went over a big bump and my posterior lifted high off the seat . The seat which had broken off due to said bump went flying . My butt slammed down onto the broken welded bracket which held on the seat .

You can imagine the rest . I can still remember the pain to this day . Good thing it missed anything essential .

I did hoist myself off my own petard though . L:O:L
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That sounds more painful! :eek: :barf: :eek:

When I was doing cross-country motorcycle racing, there were similar incidents where you hit a bumpy thing with your front tire. The front end lifts and you bounce up. Then the back tire hits the same bumpy thing and the seat slams you in the butt.

If you are lucky, You only end up doing a handstand on the handlebars with your legs straight up in the air.

This was called a "Flying W."

If you are less lucky, you go over the handlebars and get run over by your own motorcycle. This is called an "Endo!" Or "end over end."
 
Bill Marsh said:
... If you are less lucky, you go over the handlebars and get run over by your own motorcycle. This is called an "Endo!" Or "end over end."
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never did that myself, but my 15 yr old son came to stay with me one summer in saudi, he wanted to ride my dirt bike, so i took him out to a wide open flat area a mile across, showed him all the controls, told him to take it easy and just putt putt around me in a circle till he got used to the gears, etc.

of course it fell on deaf ears, he gunned it just as i was about to say 'whatever you do don't go over that way there, bout a half mile there's a 20ft drop you can't see from here' - he of course headed straight at it at full throttle, saw the ditch about 10 seconds too late and attempted his first in-flight triple somersault. the 20 ft drop was about 40 ft. wide.

found what remained of him on the other side with the bike nearby. i was badly out of breath from running the half mile at adrenalin speed, got to him just as he woke up. nothing broke. on him anyway.

$600 fixed the bike. he was so black & blue for about 6 weeks that i decided not to kill him, it would have put him out of his misery.

telling this, like the time he stuck his belly button closed with the parked bubble gum, or the time he was stung on his willie by a bee makes up for all he put me thru as he grew up. he's 36 now...
 
kronckew said:
never did that myself, but my 15 yr old son came to stay with me one summer in saudi, he wanted to ride my dirt bike, so i took him out to a wide open flat area a mile across, showed him all the controls, told him to take it easy and just putt putt around me in a circle till he got used to the gears, etc.

of course it fell on deaf ears, he gunned it just as i was about to say 'whatever you do don't go over that way there, bout a half mile there's a 20ft drop you can't see from here' - he of course headed straight at it at full throttle, saw the ditch about 10 seconds too late and attempted his first in-flight triple somersault. the 20 ft drop was about 40 ft. wide.

found what remained of him on the other side with the bike nearby. i was badly out of breath from running the half mile at adrenalin speed, got to him just as he woke up. nothing broke. on him anyway.

$600 fixed the bike. he was so black & blue for about 6 weeks that i decided not to kill him, it would have put him out of his misery.

telling this, like the time he stuck his belly button closed with the parked bubble gum, or the time he was stung on his willie by a bee makes up for all he put me thru as he grew up. he's 36 now...
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Remind him?
 
One cold and icy night in a little town called Diamond Washington outside of Colfax a few miles IIRC I started down the hill towards home on my bike. It was freezing cold and I was in a hurry to get home so I stood up on the pedals to get some speed up going down the hill and my right foot slipped off the pedal. Needless to say I wrecked out with the first and worst pain being from getting racked when I hit the cross bar. The secondary pain and nearly as bad was from sliding along the hard and sharp ice and having to lay there in the cold untill I could breath again. I'll never forget that night although it's been a long time since I thought about it.
 
kronckew said:
Arrrh! me matey's
pirate.gif
, we be using BBCH on arrh good English bottoms, none of that there froggy metrics fer a reeel english pyrate, them's BlackBeardsCrotchHairs give or take a gnat's eybrow...
Click to expand...

Arrrgh! I'll be thankin' ye tae be keepin yer hooks away from me midships cannon, ye swabs!
 
Arrh! ye be meanin' yer don't want them 6 purdy nekked blonde hareem girlies a'twerlin yer hair fer ye no more? ye kept shoutin' MORE, MORE while they's was plucking ye bare.....ah, well we'll have to give 'em back to johnny depp then.
 
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