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Bear with me - I had the reply (below) typed out & ready to post on Wednesday afternoon when my 'puter suffered a "massive MicroSlash&burn-induced software conflict brain fart" ... So without further ado, I present to you (drum roll please ...) "Dr. Stringentlove, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Say Something semi-Useful."

Continuing in the biographically-natured reply pattern ...

Early years in high school I wasn't exactly picked on, but I was certainly ignored. (Didn't get invited to the "cool kids" parties, etc.) My tastes in music & manner of dressing myself were far outside the mainstream. By the end of the 10th grade, I had a reputation for being more than a little weird, and it bothered me. (This, I think, is something almost everyone can relate to, on some level or another.)

Sometime during that summer, I made an unconscious decision. 11th grade rolled around, and I started doing things. Joined school bands, drama club. Did things where my "weirdness" was an asset. Before the first semester of that year was over, those same folks who had been ignoring me the previous years started to come to me with questions, requests, "just to hang out" - etc. I went from being perceived as "the quiet weirdo over there" to "the guy who plays guitar with the jazz band, I think" to one of those guys "everybody knows."

For me, it was as easy as discovering I was happy with who I was, and to heck with anyone who thought/felt/said I should feel otherwise.

This isn't to say that I couldn't be swayed toward violent thoughts. An incident from that period: my girlfriend at the time (whom I was *ss over ankles nuts about) told me whilst we were out & about one evening, that someone in the pool hall we were at had tried to force her into his car about a month previously. One of her friends made the mistake of pointing him out. "Anger management difficulty" is a far cry from what I felt at that moment (if you can imagine, or have experienced, a truly blinding fury, you're maybe half-way to what I was feeling), and all I can remember of my reaction, to this day, is that about halfway across the room, headed directly for the guy, some friends intercepted me. I'm told I was still holding my cue, and was shaking.

Apologies for the long bio, but to get to the point(s):

1) "Social Anxiety" is a poor, poor, poor "excuse" for anything along the lines of the events of the news story that started this thread. If one is happy with themselves, social anxieties disappear. This is something I've learned from experience.
2) "Blind Fury" or "Murderous Rage" does happen. Again, something I have learned from experience. It rises in an instant of extreme distress. It is NOT the kind of emotion that makes people plan massacres (ironically, called "Rage Killing" lately), or to bring weapons to inappropriate places and violently confront those they feel have offended them. "Blind Fury/Rage" is just that, blinding. You just can't think or plan (or even function properly, on even a biological level - the amount of adrenaline released is just staggering) when you're experiencing such strong emotions; while they may be the instigating factor, they can't be the reason that planned massacres ("Rage Killings") are carried out, since such planning requires significant detachment from said emotions. Again, this is a poor, poor, poor "excuse" for the actions described.

Dubya pretty much hit the nail on the head. These are not "immoral" acts, they're "amoral."

They're not about hurt feelings, they're about Dominance, and Submission. They're about Power. (Paraphrased from Spawn, animated TV series.) There's a trick to balancing these polarities, and it has nothing to do with anyone but the Self.

Just some observations.
Jon
 
A blinding fury is indeed blinding. It happened to me once and yes, things were just unplanned. I was lucky I left my stiletto that day (balis weren't into my life yet, otherwise things would be worse).

"This guy had bothered my sis and called my mom names when I confronted him with the fact. Instead of talking it out, he throwed a punch to me, knocking off my glasses and with it: my sanity. I exploded with anger and hit him back without stopping until 5 adults pulled me off. If no one pulled me off, I would even stomp him if he went off ground. I was then 16."

Just share the blinding fury fact ..
 
Let me give you the point-of-view from someone who is a junior in high school and hates every minute of it. (and I'm not trying to support or condone anything, I'm just giving you some insight)

Here you are at this facility, under the reigns of power that you have no control over. It becomes the center of all your pain and anxiety; all that is wrong in your life can be traced back to school.

Every day you wake up hoping to have a tempurature of 103 or a splitting headache; anything to get you out. Monday sucks because it's the beginning of the week. Tuesday sucks because you're still not ready to go into the week. Wednesday sucks because you still have two days left. Thursdays suck because you realize soon you'll be back in school again (thursdays are usually the best day of the week for me). Fridays suck because you're that much closer to monday. The weekend sucks because you're inevitably going to have to do homework, and you're inevitably going to find yourself back at the source of your pain after being released from it.

Everyone tells you that you have to succeed. "you have to get good grades if you want to go to college" I get that line all the time. But why oh why would someone who's pain, greif, and anger is deeply seeded in school want more school?

Then you think ahead. You think about why you're at school. You think what you're doing there. The answer is that you have to succeed. You have to succeed in this society to become the norm. But then you ask yourself "What is the norm?". Better yet, "What is the goal of an average citizen?". What you're told is that the goal is to become rich, to make an impact on the world. To have a family, a golden retriever, a washer and dryer. To wear fancy suits and work in an office high above a city delicately, intricately laced with glowing lights. And what is all this supposed to do? It's supposed to make you happy.
But what IS the norm? The norm is many unhappy people walking around in their smiling skeletons. Driving their cars that break down frequently. Working in cubicles and cramped offices. Paying bills late, buying DVD's.

Nobody wants to live in an artificial society. The point where you control it is when you walk out into the world. But when you're stuck in school writing about what it means to be an american, you realize that you're stuck on this path. And if you stray from the path, then you're thrown out; you're useless.

School becomes a personal trap. It is a loose/loose situation unless you conform to what is being force-fed to you. If you stay in, you have to go through what seems like torture, just leading into more torture (work, paying bills, etc.). If you leave, everyone disowns you and labels you as a drop-out, good for nothing, and stupid. It's like you have no decision

What my current solution is is just doing enough to get by. No life I will lead will depend on school smarts. But for the average student, it's do or die. No-one sees the third path; the path in which one lets that which truly does not matter slide. Well that's my mindset.

But as for school shootings, maybe they think it's the only way to escape from this prison. I mean, clearly they are wrong- pulling out a gun never gets you anything but a nice cell and a guy name bubba who wants to dance with you. Maybe all this hatred for school in these individuals does not lead to just letting it slide, but to smashing it into the ground. These people are pretty much blind. blind with passion against school and against reason.

For me, my hatred of school is not because of the individuals, the teachers, the students, the staff members, But towards the body of school itself. It's forcing itself onto you and leaving you with no room to breathe, no options but the one. And that one is the least desirable if you can clearly see where it leads to. So maybe they shoot up the school because they think that they're taking out a small chunk of this establishment. These people are kind of dumb, because it only makes the situation worse; it only makes society more paranoid and panicked.

but hey, that's just me. Believe what you like.
 
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by KentDog:
As for the Cali kid who murdered two and injured many others... As bad as this sounds, I don't think it's right to fully blame the people who teased him. He had poor anger management skills, and yeah, he didn't have strong values in right and wrong. But to kill people because he was teased is bull. Everyone's gotten $h!t before from time to time, and murder is never any sort of solution.
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Click to expand...

Yeah everyone has gotten $h!t from time to time, but I bet the $h!t you've gotten is pretty different from $h!t that some people get. Do you really know what it's like to get $h!t, from lots of people, every single day in your life (school period)? Do you know how it affects your psyche, under a LONG period of time? What it does to your self-esteem? How it messes up your emotions, your social abilities, EVERYTHING in your mind ?

Unless you've been there, you don't REALLY know.



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Balisong Sweden
 
Has anyone reads: "If you want to be rich and happy, don't go to school" by Kiyosaki?

School is not the answer (at least the one we have now) .. the richest men in the world are dropouts! (Bill Gates, Peter Job, etc.)

In that line, I am a total failure then ..
frown.gif
 
First of all, Bill Gates has a bachelor's degree from Washington State University.

Second, what fraction of drop-outs go on to achieve in whatever way you measure achievement? For every drop-out who goes on to become the CEO of a major corporation, there are thousands who live hard lives of misery working multiple, dead-end jobs just to afford the basics.

I once saw a little chart which I wish I'd kept showing salary vs. number of years of education. As I recall, finishing high school will, on the average, get you four to five times the pay of a drop-out. The difference that a bachelor's degree makes is incredible, something over ten times (which would be over fifty times the pay of the drop-out).

Now, some may say that they don't care to measure achievement in terms of salary, that money isn't everything, that money can't buy happiness. That's true. But, we all need a few basic things in our lives and money is how we get those basic things. We need some cloths. They don't have to be tailor-made suits, but even jeans and a tee shirt costs some money. We all need a place to sleep. It doesn't have to be a fancy mansion on a lake, but even a basic studio apartment costs some money. We all need to eat. It doesn't have to come from three-star chiefs, but even a simple diet costs some money. And we all need a new balisong every now and then. It doesn't have to be a Darrel Ralph custom with damascus blade and MOP inserts, but even Jags cost some money. So, even if your needs and desires are modest, you'll need some money and unless you've got rich parents, you're probably going to have to work for that money.

If you end up in a low-paying job, you'll have to work long and hard to earn enough to support even a modest life. But if you can get a better-paying job, you can work less and have time and energy to pursue the things you want to do. Maybe, you can even retire early and focus all of your energies on things that really matter to you. Being able to do what you want to do, to pursue what matters to you, those a pretty good measures of success.

Education is the best ticket!

I'm glad that I'm not going to public school today. What I hear about public shcools today frightens me. But, if you're still going to school, please take this advice: do whatever you need to to learn what is being offered there. Learn in spite of the environment. Some of your "friends" might say, "Why do you want to take all those tough classes. Take these easy ones. Then you'll have time to hang out and play video games and stuff." Believe me: it won't be more than a few years before your friends regret those choices. When they're working three jobs just to make ends meet and you've already got a head-start on retirement, they'll wish they'd with they'd made different choices.

In today's public schools, as I understand it, YOU have to make a choice and an effort to learn. My strong advise is to make that choice and make that effort.



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Chuck
Balisongs -- because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!
http://www.balisongcollector.com
 
Chuck, I agree with you on all your points. But there are exceptions, especially for good computer nerds. I was a failure in school, I never did any homework. All my time in spent in front om my computer instead. I considered school to be a total waste of precious computer time. And now, I have a very well-paid job, and my employers never look at my grades, I don't know why I bother to bring those old photo-copies to the interviews...


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Balisong Sweden
 
Chuck,
Now we are going OT.. maybe you want to put this somewhere else?
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Well, agree with all of your points especially those about "we need money", but recently I am re-thinking the old truth :"go to school, get a good grade and a good job". This guy Kiyosaki (Rich Dad Poor Dad) took me to look at matter differently. It even put emphasis on our need to be well sheltered (and he meant really well).

It is just that the earning income is not the best way to get your money.
My colleague told me (he is like 20 years older than me) that when he was Assistant Manager 10 years ago, he bought his house on company loan. Now that he is an AVP (Assistant Vice President), the current company loan for his level can't cover even half of his current house price. This simple example (and many others) has shown me that while I am earning my living (which I am), it will never will never catch up with life standard that I should start having the so-called "passive income".. so that one day my bali collection will be the at least as extensive as yours, or Dawkind or Lew ...

That was why when Clay made his Balisongxtreme a corporation, I am so happy for him!!!

Wish me luck ..
wink.gif
 
what I was saying about dropping out (I made maybe three of these posts that were all pretty much the same, so bear with me if I make references to something you never heard) was not that it would be bad for you financially, but it's the fact that you ARE TRAPPED when it comes to school. If dropping out was totally exceptable and you could have enough to get by, then i'd still stay in school. it's just a matter of having these boundaries and KNOWING they're there, yet you cant really do anything about it.
 
Alas,there are so many reasons why things like this happen these days.Solutions are many as well,but they can only work in conjunction with each other.
Back in the late '70's/early '80's,we never had these kinds of problems.Of course,back then,most kids had parents that spent more time with them...and showing them the good and bad things of life.Parents used to sit us down when we screwed up and talked to us about what we did and made us see the end results of what we caused.If we wouldn't listen,they would discipline us in the ways that they thought best...usually with a belt.Now,they're not even allowed to do that in many areas.
I can see that many of the newer laws are mostly bull...feelgood measures to calm the voting public in most cases,and to gain re-election in others.Some of the newer laws are necessary though,but not all are wellthought out.In many cases,new laws are being created to try and stop real criminals from getting out on loopholes in old laws (instead of amending the old laws properly,which would solve the problems without adding newer (still loopholed) laws).
The media too has it's faults as well as parents and politicians.It tends to overplay coverage of incidents,which fosters more thoughts within the individuals who will most likely commit a copycat crime.
Many games these days are kind of violent,but I can't see most of them being at fault for much.The worst thing they do is de-sensitize people to the horrible effects of violence.Movies do this as well.But,most people can tell that it is just "hollywood" in nature.It's all for show and sales.Yet,it is hard to understand how some people can become so ignorant to the realities of the world just because of a movie or a game,even though it does happen from time to time.
Teachers are also partly to blame.Many of them are just teaching because it's a job.Kudos to those who make learning fun,because they can usually spot a kid that's having problems and help the kid out.
School Boards try to do what they can to help kids (usually),but turning a school into a prison isn't a good idea.It helps foster the negative attitudes that the adults don't give a damn about the kids,and can't trust them at all to do the right things.I remember back when our local schools in Louisiana started to build fences around the campus.It was done to keep kids from skipping school (although it didn't always work).Yet,this started giving kids the idea that they weren't able to be trusted.That was a bad thing to do.

I and many of my friends got picked on during our school years.We bonded together and formed our own little group..but we didn't exclude anyone,even those that picked on us would be let in.We realized that kids are kids,and they will always find someone that they want/need or like to pick on.This is a main factor in tragedies these days,yet it can be solved without violence.If the counselors and other school officials in many schools showed more trust and compassion to the kids,the kids would be more willing to go to them for help in solving problems.Even though this doesn't always work either,it gives the kids more trust in the adults.
So,as you can tell,we do have a large problem to solve.I don't believe we should have more new laws cutting out some of our freedoms.Some of those freedoms allow us to feel safe at most times.To take them away is to make us feel like we as adults aren't being trusted,which could make the whole scenario happen more often,and with even worse consequences.
 
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