The Oldman and his Bucket

Raymond Richard

Raymond Richard

Joined
Jun 17, 2001
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An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was beautifully shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
 
Hey Ray....I thought you were gonna tell this Old Man and the bucket joke.....

A social worker was doing a study in large city neighborhoods to determine the most common type of birth control was being used. She went from door to door and got all the typical replies..."condoms, rythmn method, abstinence, the pill, IUD...etc etc.

So she comes to the last door and a VERY tall, old woman answers. The social workers asks if she has children. The woman replies "No....been married to my poor husband for years...and never had a child"

This intrigued the social worker, so she asked "do you mind telling me what birth control method you and your husband used all these years?"

The tall old lady answered...."sure honey....we used the Saucer and Bucket method"

The social worker confusingly raised her eyebrows and said "I have never once heard of that method...do you mind explaining?"

The woman replied " Sure honey....see, my little husband is much shorter than me and he has a twisted spine....so he can't have sex with me unless he is standing up.......so when his eyes get as big as "Saucers"....I kick the Bucket out!" :eek:
 
This is from a blooper book I read.

A newpaper reporting was interviewing a woman who had turned 100 years old. In discussing here health the reporter asked "Have you ever been bedridden?" To which the woman replied "OH yes! and many times in the hay too!"
 
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