The Ways of the Pork

Guyon

Guyon

Biscuit Whisperer
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You young piglets about to attend your first Blade Show would do well to study these tidbits from a Blade Show past.


  • "May the Pork be with you."
    (Old Physics' advice to Homeseller as they stood ready for battle.)

  • "Use the Pork, Tony G."
    (Wanda up in room 368.)

  • "The Pork is what gives a Hog his power. It's an energy field created by INFI. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."
    (Jerry teaching the young Hogs in the pit.)

  • "The Pork is strong with this one."
    (Garth sizing up Jaxx from behind the counter.)

  • "I want to learn the ways of the Pork and become a Hog like my father."
    (wash talking about Jerry.)

  • "Remember, a Hog can feel the Pork flowing through him."
    (David Brown at Fogo de Chão).

  • "The Pork will be with you always."
    (Amy-0 to Alton Brown.)

  • "Use the Pork, Stabber... Let go, Stabber, trust me."
    (Pure HOG trickery from Cobalt as he tried to get Stabber to let go of a sheath.)

  • "Yes. A Hog strength flow from the Pork, but beware of the Dark Ops Table."
    (Advice from Drew.)

  • "The Pork is with you, young Guyon. But you are not a Hog yet."
    (Told to me on Saturday afternoon prior to the induction dinner.)

  • "The Pork can have a strong influence on a weak grip."
    (Barb as she pounded the head of a challenging Hog.)

  • "You must learn the ways of the Pork if you are to come with me to the Busse table."
    (Paddling Man to some random guy he wanted to use as a placeholder at the counter.)

  • "A tremor in the Pork. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master."
    (Princess Prada Gunner referring to his old master, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.)

  • "Don't underestimate the Pork."
    (xaman to the counter girl at Fudruckers.)

  • "I felt a great disturbance in the Pork, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."
    (Gravelface upon sensing that the Bloodbathganzaaaa had been cancelled.)

  • "You don't believe in the Pork, do you?"
    (Ron to some guy at the Cold Steel table.)

  • "Strong am I with the Pork, but not that strong."
    (Amy-0 upon being asked to carry Jaxx's INFI to the Busse trailer.)

  • "The Pork runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And... my sister has it."
    (KAAK, referring to his alien family on the planet Infinopia.)

  • "Only together can we turn him to the Dark Side of the Pork."
    (Missive from the Super Bully to his rat brethren concerning a newly inducted HOG.)

  • "Remember, a Hog's strength flows from the Pork."
    (MikeH, while chewing on a sausage biscuit.)

  • "Sobriety matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my sobriety, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Pork, and a powerful ally it is.."
    (idahoskunk at 3 a.m.)

  • "You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to destroy the Rats, not join them. You were supposed to bring balance to the Pork, not nibble on it in darkness."
    (Garth to Super Bully.)

  • "You must feel the Pork around you; between you, me, the Waverly, the Galleria, everywhere. Yes, even between my hand and that bottle of Pig's Nose.."
    (Jerry while passing out shots of scotch.)
Click to expand...
 
"The Pork is quicker than the eye"

Hammy said to Me (Dave Brown) as he snatched the Mojo out of my freakin' hand at Blade 06 !!!!:grumpy:
 
"This is not the Infi your looking for"
I heard Knifehunter utter this while leaving the Busse table with two pelican cases of Cutellus's
 
Thank you Guyon, I will carry this list of "The Ways Of The Pork" with me every day until Blade.

May the Pork be with You!!!
 
Man, you're on a roll lately, brother Guy. Good to have you back from your short furlough. That was hilarious. :thumbup:


gimmejr said:
"This is not the Infi your looking for"
I heard Knifehunter utter this while leaving the Busse table with two pelican cases of Cutellus's
Click to expand...

:D

Well said.
 
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