The Wonders of Nature

Kevin the grey said:
Andy Isn,t it strange that this adhesive was also developed by a Newfoudlander ? He has a tentative yet still copyrighted name of " Clam up " for it .
It was originally invented as a chronic diarhea cure and has undergone extensive testing by victims of the affliction ......... So far no-one has let loose with any results .

The militairy aerospace industry has adapted it to their needs in a hope to eliminate casual chatter on militairy radio frequencies . A small tube of the stuff is inserted into the pilots oxygen masks . The tube will evaporate on detection of chemicals released in the breath by inane jabber . This will immediately serve to weld their lips shut for the remainder of the flight and sometimes for several days beyond ..........The victims who were questioned about the effectiveness of the treatment had very little to say .
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I need to get about 10 lbs. of this stuff for someone who lives with me who shall remain nameless.

Sorry, have to go now.

"Yes, I'm done talking about my silly knives. What is it now dear...?!" :D

Norm
 
ShadowchaserUFP said:
so Kevin, should I expect an email from you and did I make the cut for getting a sample?

Jack
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Sorry Jack . I just got word from my customs clearing house that all Seal-Cote has been seized at the border and furthermore I am being investigated for attempting to export dangerous chemicals .

Apparently the package was mislabeled as a Seal Coat and so was opened for inspection by the fish and game department . They are on the lookout for people trying to sell Illegal endangered land seals . It is easy to tell land seals from their aquatic brethren by the scrape marks on the fur coats . While they can usually get around without damaging their fur it is sometimes injured in their frenzied rush to get away from their only known predator .
The Great White Land Shark .

When the border inspector opened the package and saw chemicals inside instead of a fur coat he got suspicious and read the label . He then falsely surmised that Seal-Cote was a waterproofer for fur coats . He applied some to his own coat and was horrified to find his arm glued to his side when it dried . While somewhat discomfitted he was able to complete his days work as it was the arm he used to wave people through the border without stopping for inspection . We all know how rare it is a customs agent needs to do that .

To sum it all up Jack I apologise for any false hopes I raised .
To make it up to you I will send you the first batch of an experimental product
which is a pepper spray that can also be used as an inscense
for Church ceremonies ............ It will be called " Spray and Pray " .
I just have to wait for a Newfie to invent it .
 
What a bummer, I've already invested in a shop here in my hometown and wes going into the undercoating business. I figured that the Seal Coat would be a perfect alternative as a protectant against our Central Illinois salting of the roads in the winter time. Guess I'll have to give up on my plans of fame and fortune via Seal Coating my car. Probably a good thing as I'm not certain how I would work getting rid of the town's stray cats via the "Pied Piper" effect that I'm certain warm Seal Coat would provide. I've had my lawyers working on the wording for that in a community service bid I was about to submit to the city council. I did think about shipping the stray kitties to Newfoundland to be used as bait for the North Atlantic fishery. Thought it might be a good trade, Seal Coat for stray cats.

Jack
 
Be careful Jack . Stray Cats are revered in Newfoundland and their National Drink " SCREECH " is named so in honor of the screeching cats which teem along the waterfront at night . Just a couple of swallows of this fiery brew will have you screeching right along with them .

In Fact They even have a Rockabilly Band named after them . You guessed it " The Stray Cats " .

As an alternative ? I suggest giving all the stray cats a home in your garage .
That way there would be no stray cat problem and your garage could become a totally natural rust "Spraying" business. You can tout it as a completely organic rust proofing formula . It doesn,t actually work but the owners eyes will be screwed shut in pain so it doesn,t really matter .
 
he could also collect the cats liquid offerings, and bottle it as 'beer', y'all back home 'd never know the difference between it and that stuff y'all call beer (Dixie beer excepted of course, it's a fine outstanding example of the brewers art) & you could use the profits to buy some real beer like guinness or murphy's (or Dixie)
 
Me son ? While it is true I am not yet man enough to appreciate a Guiness I can assure you a " Trois Pistoles" (three pistols) is just fine .
While it is only nine percent alcohol a quart of it seems to go a long way .
 
Just go club a baby seal and make your own.

Clubbing baby seals is fun for the whole family.
 
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