Today's Schrade eBay LOL!

Discussion in 'Schrade Knives Collectors Forum' started by Codger_64, Oct 17, 2011.

  1. Codger_64

    Codger_64 Moderator Moderator

    Oct 8, 2004
    Exactly why a U.S. eBay seller would post this Engrish description, I haven't a clue. But here it is in all it's gloree.

  2. Rusty1

    Rusty1 Gold Member Gold Member

    Nov 6, 2005
    It would possibly seem that it could be a Chinese individual selling within the US. I cannot think how this could be so messed up any other way! Looks like it is straight out of a poor Chinese to English translation engine.

    I like the Jones and Wesson part, aye, aye, aye!

  3. tongueriver

    tongueriver Gold Member Gold Member

    Dec 28, 2007
    That is so fabulously funny that it is now enshrined in a Word .doc in glorious 18 point arial, on my desktop, for "that any of our fantastic grandparents will be proud to obtain." Aye, eye indeed!
  4. Dave Thinkstoomuch

    Dave Thinkstoomuch Banned BANNED

    Jun 15, 2009
    I agree with Russell. Somebody took a (already bad) non-english description and hit "translate". Funny!
  5. Codger_64

    Codger_64 Moderator Moderator

    Oct 8, 2004
    Maybe I need to translate this part back to Mandrian to see what they mean exactly.
  6. Dave Thinkstoomuch

    Dave Thinkstoomuch Banned BANNED

    Jun 15, 2009
    I was trying to crack that one too! Japanese anime and Chinese kung-fu movies have provided me with lots of funny literal translations over the years but this one is new to me lol
  7. delmas2nd


    Apr 14, 2008
    i especially like the part where Shrade was "Founded in 1975 by Stewart Taylor". hmmm history rewritten?
  8. MerryMadMonk

    MerryMadMonk Platinum Member Platinum Member

    May 22, 2011
    All your knife are belong to us.
  9. Codger_64

    Codger_64 Moderator Moderator

    Oct 8, 2004
    Yeah, likely a copy/paste of a Chinese/Engrish translation of something written to sell Taylor Brand knives. This particular ad was for a U.S. Schrade 171UH though.

    All you job belong us now but you buy you like us. Buffalo grass horn and Mommy of Gem are special your grandparents proud obtain.
  10. meako

    meako Gold Member Gold Member

    Sep 4, 2006
    I only hope if I ever learn Chinese it won't suck as bad as that.
    This person has obviously moved over from the Balinese ripoff dvd translation academy.
  11. Codger_64

    Codger_64 Moderator Moderator

    Oct 8, 2004
    English speakers can be just as bad. I laughed at the Shrade Snapfinger too.
  12. WA Martin

    WA Martin

    Jan 23, 2007
    Oh my... where's the "shakes head" smilie?
  13. Ballenxj


    Oct 30, 2010
    That's terrible! :eek: Whoever it is obviously doesn't know BEANS about Schrade USA. :jerkit:
    OTOH, My money says it's a scammer out fishing. :mad:
  14. Bob W

    Bob W

    Dec 31, 2000
    "Tiny do they already know..." = Little do they know...

    "...higher than the game." = Higher than the competition.

    "legislations enforcements" = law enforcement

    I can't figure out the "slept" part.
  15. Codger_64

    Codger_64 Moderator Moderator

    Oct 8, 2004
    These were brought to my attention by another member and we had a good laugh. So what do you think? Are they genuine Imperial Schrade pre-closing items? Are they valuable?


    If no one here knows, I'll ask over in Levine's forum. ;)
  16. lrv

    lrv Basic Member Basic Member

    Sep 14, 2003
    Stirring the pot :)
    I smell SMKW.
  17. Codger_64

    Codger_64 Moderator Moderator

    Oct 8, 2004
    It could well be something out of the blue. Ridge, that is. But the seller is in the state of sunny beaches. He pulled the auction early. Fess up. Who pounced on these?
  18. Ballenxj


    Oct 30, 2010
    LOL! Wasn't me. ;)
  19. Ira Aten

    Ira Aten

    May 24, 2006
    Regarding the E-bay ad, anyone who knows anything at all about the founding of Schrade knows full well that Liz Taylor's fourteenth husband (Stewart) indeed was the pioneering founder of the Schrade Knife Company of Roanoke Virginia. A noted Blacksmith and Farrier to the Stars (back in 1952) Stewart met Liz on location of the filming of the movie classic "Black Velvet", and, utilizing funds loaned to him by his betrothed (which Liz was quoted as saying she earned from a prior film classic entitled "...Me Love You Long Time...!" ( filmed on location in the Llano Estacado region of Northern New Guinea) Stewart and Elizabeth spent their entire honeymoon heating and melting down old discarded Whiskey barrel staves, and pounded their recycled steel into the first Schrade knife ever made (known as the Schrade-Walden Model, which the happy couple named in joint honor of two former film industry Key Grips, who, trusting mightily in Stewart's visionary plans for recycling, quit the film industry to help Liz and Stewart with the marketing and distribution division of Schrade, Inc. of Roanoke Virginia. But tragedy was to befall the happy couple, for Liz fell deeply in love with her co-star (Richard Burton) while filming "Cleopatra" on location in Helena Montana in 2004.

    Liz filed for divorce from Stewart Taylor in 1998, married her co-star (husband number 15) but kept her the name "Taylor" as a tribute to her fond memories of the days she spent working in the cutlery manufacturing industry. In fact, she kept her hand in for several years up to her death, making custom "Taylor" knives for her Housekeeping staff and close friends. These were later to be known as "Taylor Maid" knives.

    Devastated, Stewart Taylor, unable to even set foot within the factory he and his beloved Elizabeth had built over the years, simply gave full ownership of the firm to his marketing and distribution managers (Mr. Schrade, and Mr. Walden) and returned to shoeing horses. However, due to years of wear and tear on his sciatic nerve, he could only shoe miniature horses, and thus had to concentrate on the circus horse shoeing market. In a tragic shoeing accident, Mr. Taylor was kicked in the ankle by a miniature circus horse, and had to discontinue his shoeing career. No longer able to keep up with the big boys, Mr. Taylor took to the streets in 2002, and has not been seen or heard from since.

    Mssrs. Schrade and Walden, to this day, continue to produce some of the finest crafted knives in the world, and the two old gentlemen can be seen pounding away (still using Liz and Stewart's old anvils and hammers) at the Schrade Walden Knife factory (located at 3941 Thirlane Road N.W., Roanoke Virginia, 24019-3018).
  20. DD214


    Jan 21, 2010

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