Let's lighten it up a bit....
Imagine if you will a Monty Python like scene, some hundred years ago, a camera slowly pans in towards a small scruffy small peasant country dwelling, a man aproches carrying a heavy load-
Knock knock.......
"Who's that?" A voice comes from inside as the door opens
"Hello fine Sir", says the travelling salesman " I wonder if I can interest you in some wood?"
"Wood.....wood....replies the peasant, why would I want to buy some wood?
"Because this is a special wood Sir"
"Did you notice that I live in the middle of a forest" replied the peasant
"Well yes Sir, but...but this wood is
special wood"
"How's that then, I've plenty of firewood" said the peasant
"It's Dickory Sir, anything but firewood"
"Dckory, dickory, what's bleeping heck is dickory?"
"It's exotic" said the travelling salesman
"Exotic, exotic? What the heck is exotic?"
"Well, its erm...sort of..erm....well...it's imported.....yes that's what it is...it's imported & that's what makes it special" replied the salesman thinking the questioning was over
"What's imported mean? Why do I need imported wood" asked the peasant who's beggining to loose patience
"Imported means it's travelled a long way, so that at least three quarters of what Dickory costs is purely for the transportation cost alone, as I say a very special wood indeed Sir, the best wood in the kingdom & beyond, superior for hatchet handles"
"But I have a handle on my hatchet" replied the peasant
"Yes Sir but it isn't Dickory is it?
" No, so what" replied the peasant in an agitated voice
"You know how its such a bind having to replace the handle when it breaks every couple of years eating into your valuable time, messing up your schedule....well use Dickory & those days are over, Dickory, the handle garanteed not to break...never....never ever Sir" Said the salesman
" Eating into my time... eating, eating, I wish.....I've a wife & sevens chidren inside...we haven't eaten since last Tuesday.... well unless you count grass that is...." replied the peasant
"But sir, not only do you get an everlasting handle but when you've fashioned it using your broken hatchet head you can proudly write "
Jenyouwine Dicoreie" on it in black script down the side, even both sides if you want"
"Why on this flat earth would I want to do that" replied the peasant
"Because all the other peasants will then know you are a man of taste who only settles for the best, no second best for you Sir, no only the best will do" said the salesman
"But second best is fine for me.....third or forth as far as that goes, remember internet forums haven't been invented yet so it doesn't matter, now kindly go away in a very polite manner"
"But Sir" said the salesman as the door was closing "Wood as fine as this doesn't grow on trees you know"

....in a hurried voice as the door slamed shut "special offer this week I'll throw in a bag of dry leaves...... even some soil.............