cm_Bushman,
Ferro-rods (not "firesteels" by the way) require quite a bit of practice before they become completely reliable ignition tools. Practice involves getting the hand motions and positioning right relative to the sort of rod you have and the sort of scraper you are using
and knowing what materials are combustible for the quality of sparks being produced.
Without having a video of your spark-generating technique the best suggestion I can offer is to concentrate on your choice of combustible materials. Many people imagine that toilet paper or paper towels are ideal tinders, but they are not. In fact, they are designed to be extremely hydrophilic (moisture absorbing) so as to absorb moisture even from the surrounding air, your hands, etc., making them the worst possible choice of paper products for the purposes of ignition. Absorbent paper - once it's lit - burns up fast, but that doesn't mean it's a good choice of ignition materials for sparks. You should not be learning on any absorbent paper products. You would actually do better to make very fine shavings of birch bark or any perfectly dry wood you can find.
My recommendation is that you learn on cotton balls made from real cotton (not the synthetic stuff one often finds) so check the package. Go to the pharmacy and buy yourself a bag of 100% cotton balls or 100% cotton pads and then pull each one apart to produce a mass of fibers ideal for catching a spark. Once your technique is such that you can reliably ignite each without scattering it or having to strike 2-3 times, then move onto producing your own tinders from natural materials such as birch bark shavings or milkweed or catttail fluff, cedar bark shavings, and the like. I have had very mixed results when using dryer lint, depending on the composition of the lint. If most of your clothing is cotton, then the lint will ignite well. If there's too high a percentage of synthetic fibers in the lint, it may burn well but be very hard to ignite with just sparks.
Very nearly everyone has difficulty using a ferro-rod at first. It takes quite a bit of practice before it becomes easy and reliable.
In answer to your question about what specific technique we all use, I do it this way:
I place my tinder on any dry, stable surface (a log, rock, bark on the ground, etc) and then I put the tip of my ferro rod right onto the tinder holding the tinder in place with the tip and I angle the rod so that it is at about a 45 degree angle. The tip of the rod is held down against the surface, making it stable. I then take my scraper or the back of my knife and scratch down a bit of the rod toward the tip while putting a significant amount of pressure on the rod with the scraper. This causes a small,
controlled shower of sparks to fall almost straight into my tinder pile. I do not hold my rod over the pile and try to 'throw' sparks toward my tinder in the hopes that some sparks will land in the tinder pile. Having the tip of the rod firmly planted in the tinder pile and braced on the supporting surface allows me to really scratch the rod hard with the scraper in a controlled manner without the tinder being thrown about. I find this works every time and there's no need for a fast and violent movement of the hands or pulling back on the rod or any of that sort of stuff. Here's a video that demonstrates the technique:
http://youtu.be/XxcQ_9uayro
One other small tip: The very best scraper I have ever used on any type of ferro-rod is a small piece of a an old hacksaw blade.
Hope this helps,
- Martin