It will often look gray until you add finish - if that doesn't brighten things up (always test on scrap):
1) Add some more vinegar to the mix
2) wipe the piece down with hydrogen peroxide
as for using on wood I seldom ever use it anymore, much preferring Ferric Nitrate aka Aqua Fortis which gives me better color and chatoyance on woods like maple, ash, hickory, Osage and walnut.
As to how it will look here's a comparison:
The upper piece of wood was the control using and old batch of Wahkon Bay Aqua Fortis, the lower piece is vinegar on the left, ferric nitrate crystals in the middle, and some home made AF on the right. All pieces had one coat of Tried and True Oil Varnish applied
With either AF or vinegaroon it's always a bit of a guessing game on what color evolves, but as noted it can be tweaked in various ways. The basics are in either case the iron in solution reacting with the tannic acid in the wood. The tweaks come from adding more tannic acid or applying another oxidizer - you can also tweak using regular wood or leather stains.
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In contrast these two were stained with AF and heated as needed with AF, neutralized with potash, wiped down with hydrogen peroxide to redden them up a bit, and then fully finished with a batch of homemade 18th Century violin varnish.
Note on the left piece how the vertical face is much darker, this is because the AF was not properly neutralized.
As for soaking it in the vinegaroon after assembly, no need and yes the vinegar (acetic acid) can affect the epoxy. ON finished knives I just wipe on a coat or two of the stain and go from there.