- Joined
- Feb 27, 2001
- Messages
- 12,169
This knife is unused and has factory edge. A black bladed Paragon Auto ATS-34 Steel Plain edge. It does have a few scuffs on the black anodized coating on the blade but aside from that it has been a safe queen stored in the open position since I acquired it..
The problem I have is when I exactly acquired this piece. Hmmmmm I cannot exactly remember but I believe it was in the days shortly after 9/11 I was stationed with a covert intelligence and dark operations branch of the state department. In early October of that year I was ordered to HALO jump into Afghanistan to establish a forward communications base via UHF and to find the exact whereabouts of Mullah Omar who was rumored to be lurking around the capital city of Kabul.
The jump went smooth although from 70, 00 feet with a low opening chute it is truly terrifying. I landed cleanly on the roof of the ministry of agriculture building, which is another clever name for one of the largest opium warehousing and distributing networks to feed the Al Quida monster and international terrorism in the country. I was disgusted by this and thought its time to bring some terror to the terrorists. So as I rappelled down the exterior wall I took time to set a claymore trip wire at the front entrance to the ministry building whoever came into work early this morning was in for an ugly surprise...
But back to the task at hand Where was that bearded one eyed butt phucker??? I had only two days to find out before the USAF began lobbing smart bombs and cruise missiles into the city and it would be nice as hell if I was on a beach in the Caribbean sipping drinks with umbrellas in them and watching the destruction on CNN instead of visiting it first hand. SO I began to establish my cover.
My contacts at the farm set me up with the cover of Rasheed an operator of a bi-sexual puppet show in southern Afghanistan. Rasheed was to meet his contact who would introduce him to the main Mullah of the region (and main cross dressing dope smuggler to boot!!) I proceeded as instructed using my small hand held GPS to guide me to the city center. Here I was to meet my contact. He would be a gentleman code named Michael Jordan He would ask me a simple question of which I would know that he was my contact. He was to ask in Farsi Sebenza or strider which is the better folder? to which I was to reply also in Farsi.. I prefer Frost Cutlery
In hindsight this I should have known I was walking into a trap. But I was sore, nervous, disoriented, and the towel I was wearing on my head itched like hell I was also unfamiliar with Farsi so I was mumbling over and over I prefer frost cutlery,,,,I prefer frost cutlery . I prefer frost cutlery .I stopped at a small street café and drank one of the many dark heavily caffeinated dark coffees of the region when I noticed another man looking at me slowly and very casually he glanced about to make sure we were not noticed by any of a number of Taliban Pashdir (religious secret police) and we sauntered over to my table without as much as a glance at me he stared down the street and said
Sebenza or Strider which is the better knife? .shiiit that was not the exact phrase of the pass word was this a trap or was this man a double agent?? Or was he just as nervous as I?? I was so terrified I could have puked but I replied like a complete moron dumbass in German
Richard Gere is going to shove a gerbil up your poop shoot and corn hole you with a Glockenspiel
Dammit how could I have blown it this bad but it was too late the farm had failed to inform me that the Taliban leadership were terrified of Richard Gere, Gerbils, and Glockenspiels although I think they make very nice folk music and are rather easy to play but I digress .Suddenly my contact Michael Jordan pulled a police whistle from out of his shirt and blew it and several smelly bearded phucktards jumped me and began to beat me. I descended mercifully into unconsciousness
When I awoke I was in a dark smelly fetid prison cell lying on rotted straw and there was a large rotund man standing over me. I recognized the eye patch OMG it was Mullah Omar he said to me in Perfect English
Welcome to Kabul American Infidel I replied
Blow me you phuck...say do you guys wear underwear under those robes or do you go commando?
This comment got me two cracks across my back from an ASP baton from Omars Goon who was standing behind me
sorry bout that I said Im just a little cranky when I wake up with out coffee
Omar looked at me with disgust and grunted what are you doing here Infidel? Confess your sins before Allah before you die by my hand
Uh sure Mullah Im an infidel but before I confess my sins I need a copy of the Koran .TO WIPE MY ASS!!!
At this point I reached my mojo hand into the pocket of my USA MADE LEVIS and pulled out THIS AMERICAN MADE PARAGON AUTO and my hands feet arms and legs became swirling scythes of death instantly killing Mullah Omars body guard. And before he could react in surprise and fear I had bopped the bearded one eyed cornholer upside the head and poke out his other eye and dressed him in a pink Tutu and had him holding a big pink Sucker singing Im the Good Ship Lollypop
I could go into more detail but sadly the rest is classified but anyway this knife is famous because of this mall ninja story no you can own it for say..
$SOLD BIATCHES shipped
paypal plus fees or USPS money order
No trades
USA only
See pic
Thanks
Ren
The problem I have is when I exactly acquired this piece. Hmmmmm I cannot exactly remember but I believe it was in the days shortly after 9/11 I was stationed with a covert intelligence and dark operations branch of the state department. In early October of that year I was ordered to HALO jump into Afghanistan to establish a forward communications base via UHF and to find the exact whereabouts of Mullah Omar who was rumored to be lurking around the capital city of Kabul.
The jump went smooth although from 70, 00 feet with a low opening chute it is truly terrifying. I landed cleanly on the roof of the ministry of agriculture building, which is another clever name for one of the largest opium warehousing and distributing networks to feed the Al Quida monster and international terrorism in the country. I was disgusted by this and thought its time to bring some terror to the terrorists. So as I rappelled down the exterior wall I took time to set a claymore trip wire at the front entrance to the ministry building whoever came into work early this morning was in for an ugly surprise...
But back to the task at hand Where was that bearded one eyed butt phucker??? I had only two days to find out before the USAF began lobbing smart bombs and cruise missiles into the city and it would be nice as hell if I was on a beach in the Caribbean sipping drinks with umbrellas in them and watching the destruction on CNN instead of visiting it first hand. SO I began to establish my cover.
My contacts at the farm set me up with the cover of Rasheed an operator of a bi-sexual puppet show in southern Afghanistan. Rasheed was to meet his contact who would introduce him to the main Mullah of the region (and main cross dressing dope smuggler to boot!!) I proceeded as instructed using my small hand held GPS to guide me to the city center. Here I was to meet my contact. He would be a gentleman code named Michael Jordan He would ask me a simple question of which I would know that he was my contact. He was to ask in Farsi Sebenza or strider which is the better folder? to which I was to reply also in Farsi.. I prefer Frost Cutlery
In hindsight this I should have known I was walking into a trap. But I was sore, nervous, disoriented, and the towel I was wearing on my head itched like hell I was also unfamiliar with Farsi so I was mumbling over and over I prefer frost cutlery,,,,I prefer frost cutlery . I prefer frost cutlery .I stopped at a small street café and drank one of the many dark heavily caffeinated dark coffees of the region when I noticed another man looking at me slowly and very casually he glanced about to make sure we were not noticed by any of a number of Taliban Pashdir (religious secret police) and we sauntered over to my table without as much as a glance at me he stared down the street and said
Sebenza or Strider which is the better knife? .shiiit that was not the exact phrase of the pass word was this a trap or was this man a double agent?? Or was he just as nervous as I?? I was so terrified I could have puked but I replied like a complete moron dumbass in German
Richard Gere is going to shove a gerbil up your poop shoot and corn hole you with a Glockenspiel
Dammit how could I have blown it this bad but it was too late the farm had failed to inform me that the Taliban leadership were terrified of Richard Gere, Gerbils, and Glockenspiels although I think they make very nice folk music and are rather easy to play but I digress .Suddenly my contact Michael Jordan pulled a police whistle from out of his shirt and blew it and several smelly bearded phucktards jumped me and began to beat me. I descended mercifully into unconsciousness
When I awoke I was in a dark smelly fetid prison cell lying on rotted straw and there was a large rotund man standing over me. I recognized the eye patch OMG it was Mullah Omar he said to me in Perfect English
Welcome to Kabul American Infidel I replied
Blow me you phuck...say do you guys wear underwear under those robes or do you go commando?
This comment got me two cracks across my back from an ASP baton from Omars Goon who was standing behind me
sorry bout that I said Im just a little cranky when I wake up with out coffee
Omar looked at me with disgust and grunted what are you doing here Infidel? Confess your sins before Allah before you die by my hand
Uh sure Mullah Im an infidel but before I confess my sins I need a copy of the Koran .TO WIPE MY ASS!!!
At this point I reached my mojo hand into the pocket of my USA MADE LEVIS and pulled out THIS AMERICAN MADE PARAGON AUTO and my hands feet arms and legs became swirling scythes of death instantly killing Mullah Omars body guard. And before he could react in surprise and fear I had bopped the bearded one eyed cornholer upside the head and poke out his other eye and dressed him in a pink Tutu and had him holding a big pink Sucker singing Im the Good Ship Lollypop
I could go into more detail but sadly the rest is classified but anyway this knife is famous because of this mall ninja story no you can own it for say..
$SOLD BIATCHES shipped
paypal plus fees or USPS money order
No trades
USA only
See pic
Thanks
Ren