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Walking/ Self Defense Stick?
- Thread starter Wasz
- Start date
- Joined
- May 24, 2001
- Messages
- 1,480
Wasz said:
3 miles west of the Point.tom.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 1999
- Messages
- 6,117
The modern walking sticks that are carried by healthy athletic people are "trekking poles". They got popular to help protect the knees of people who carry heavy packs. They help protect anyone's knees who hikes on steep or uneven surfaces. All you need to justify these things to a cop or court is sore knees or a concern about knee damage. Here is info on the topic:
http://www.personal.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/poles.htm
Here is an example of heavy duty types that might fit your size needs.
http://www.aeasyshop.com/products.a...d_Nordic_Walking_Poles-prod-10049315-15474245
Anyway, whatever kind of stick that you pick, you only have to claim a weak knee to justify using it. It is just for when you have to climb or descend a hill or walk on a slippery surface.
http://www.personal.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/poles.htm
Here is an example of heavy duty types that might fit your size needs.
http://www.aeasyshop.com/products.a...d_Nordic_Walking_Poles-prod-10049315-15474245
Anyway, whatever kind of stick that you pick, you only have to claim a weak knee to justify using it. It is just for when you have to climb or descend a hill or walk on a slippery surface.
Come on guys and gals, there are lots of things you can do. Surely.
There is the walking staff flute:
http://www.eriktheflutemaker.com/?pageid=34445
and
http://www.uni-leipzig.de/~mim/musik/exponat/mi/aero/bor/qfloete/nr.4652/4652e1.html This historical description includes other walking stick/staff instruments including a violin, but I am having trouble envisioning this.
and the fighting flute:
http://www.stickman-escrima.com/Products/Flutes.htm
Carrying a tire iron can also appear innocuous if you are also rolling a repaired tire with you.
And as grommit truly drifts off into the weeds in stream of coma....
You could carry a 5' gnomon, a compass and a set of 8" tall roman numerals and claim it as your time piece...
Wear an eyepatch, rent a parot to sit on your shoulder and get a spyglass that will extend like an asp. The accompanying hand removal may be too extreme for some. (bring me my brown pants). Hey, wait a sec. Was captain Hook really attacked by the croc, or were they covering up when he was caught stealing in........
Put on an orange reflective vest and carry a shovel. This will require hours of practice in case anyone asks you to lean on it to make sure you are actually a roadwork superviser with proper form...
Get a 5' stick and attach a butterfly net to the end. Wear your safari hat, carry collection jars and a notebook and binoculars to complete the disguise.
Get your plumber's pants and tool belt. Put in a pair of mongo wrenches with a quick attach chain on the handles. Numbmonkeys.
Get a really big pencil like at 6flags or somewhere. Better, make a really really bigger one...
Take up technical drawing... Get or make one of those triangular rulers with all the different scales, only yours is a yardstick (ouch) or meter stick (oucher) or a buck and a quarter quarter staff. And the titanium Tsquare has some rather interresting uses also...
You are a bicycle courier carrying some really large scale blueprints in a LONG tube... Not to mention the industrial size pump or alternate style/size hadlebars with quick release or change hardware.
Or simply be sure to bring your guitars...
Discover your native roots. Your peace pipe goes with you everywhere. It is also your walking stick, or maybe a pole for your teepee...
You are an electrician. The 5 or 6 foot tube carries your long drill bit for piercing and fishing.
Fisherman, long pole, nuff said.
Fire extinguisher, carrying it to get it recharged? Of course this difinitely leads to the painful question about where your headed in such a hurry...
Who made that CLIPBOARD a while back?
skies, poles, looong scateboard?
Dipstick for fuel tank? Search me how to camouflage it...
Loooooong stem roses....
Dress like Moses. Helps if the staff can change to a snake and back....
(warning, civilized people will be traumatized
Cat, swing by tail. (sort of like the blind man looking around the bar)
Merry to Pippin: The big one; The BIG One
You are a Katrina refuge carrying your tent rolled up around the sticks and stakes...
Music stand, microphone stand, dressed for either playing or karaoke night...
Chinese coolie, 2 heavy buckets and the yoke stick over the shoulders...
Hobo... that stick over the shoulder probably wasn't just for carrying that little bag now was it?
Mundane sports equipment (no quiddich equipment allowed!) - bat, golfclub, lacross stick, hocky stick, hammer for hammer throw, or go for broke and take up the javeline... or archery... Practice everywhere...
Increase your excercise and perform a public service on your walks. Carry and use a weed whip or even a billjack or weedhook on the right of ways. Get official sanction and a sign reading:
"This mile of trail maintained by JoJins Kungfu Yard Service" or something more appropriate.
The proper aura could be enhanced by sticking to oriental style tools, and performing all insect extermination with chopsticks...
Darken your skin (assuming you need it, and assuming this joke does not get me kicked out of here), run a bone thru your nose and carry your lion spear and large oval leopardskin shield. You will be covered by diversity laws, if not much clothing....
Dress for the rennaisance fair. Go for either little john and quartstaff or the full jousting outfit...
Survey Crew...
Long knee brace for the old football injury that clips off and snaps straight in a snap...
5 foot stick, massive spiked ball on the end. If accosted, explain that mace IS TOO legal in your state!
Become a Cutco dealer. You are always going to or from a demo... Be ready with the spiel...
One word: backscratcher... Ok, 2 words: BIG Backscratcher... Ballooo?
Envision the king of the lemurs in Madagascar in the crashed plane. How did he control the fingers?
Get active with local politics. Hammer, long sticks, posterboard, you fill in the blanks!
Around here there are always yardsale signs that need to go up or down.
Your troop never goes anywhere without the banner! (no, not the big green guy)
Metal detector... Search for coins and rings everywhere you go!
Bassoon..... Or those swiss things....
Long Bar Chainsaw. Why settle for anything less? If a bloody one can make it through customs... Keep it in good working order. Remember both Stitch (oh good, my doggie found the chain saw) and Thunderdome. Flannel shirts will help with this one, just watch out for what kind of bars you hang around in...
Take up whittling. Always have with you a just started continous chain or series of balls in cages. The big ones, not the ones made from #2 pencils...
anyway, I am almost sorry to have hijacked the thread, but the lunch hour sure went fast....
There is the walking staff flute:
http://www.eriktheflutemaker.com/?pageid=34445
and
http://www.uni-leipzig.de/~mim/musik/exponat/mi/aero/bor/qfloete/nr.4652/4652e1.html This historical description includes other walking stick/staff instruments including a violin, but I am having trouble envisioning this.
and the fighting flute:
http://www.stickman-escrima.com/Products/Flutes.htm
Carrying a tire iron can also appear innocuous if you are also rolling a repaired tire with you.
And as grommit truly drifts off into the weeds in stream of coma....
You could carry a 5' gnomon, a compass and a set of 8" tall roman numerals and claim it as your time piece...
Wear an eyepatch, rent a parot to sit on your shoulder and get a spyglass that will extend like an asp. The accompanying hand removal may be too extreme for some. (bring me my brown pants). Hey, wait a sec. Was captain Hook really attacked by the croc, or were they covering up when he was caught stealing in........
Put on an orange reflective vest and carry a shovel. This will require hours of practice in case anyone asks you to lean on it to make sure you are actually a roadwork superviser with proper form...
Get a 5' stick and attach a butterfly net to the end. Wear your safari hat, carry collection jars and a notebook and binoculars to complete the disguise.
Get your plumber's pants and tool belt. Put in a pair of mongo wrenches with a quick attach chain on the handles. Numbmonkeys.
Get a really big pencil like at 6flags or somewhere. Better, make a really really bigger one...
Take up technical drawing... Get or make one of those triangular rulers with all the different scales, only yours is a yardstick (ouch) or meter stick (oucher) or a buck and a quarter quarter staff. And the titanium Tsquare has some rather interresting uses also...
You are a bicycle courier carrying some really large scale blueprints in a LONG tube... Not to mention the industrial size pump or alternate style/size hadlebars with quick release or change hardware.
Or simply be sure to bring your guitars...
Discover your native roots. Your peace pipe goes with you everywhere. It is also your walking stick, or maybe a pole for your teepee...
You are an electrician. The 5 or 6 foot tube carries your long drill bit for piercing and fishing.
Fisherman, long pole, nuff said.
Fire extinguisher, carrying it to get it recharged? Of course this difinitely leads to the painful question about where your headed in such a hurry...
Who made that CLIPBOARD a while back?
skies, poles, looong scateboard?
Dipstick for fuel tank? Search me how to camouflage it...
Loooooong stem roses....
Dress like Moses. Helps if the staff can change to a snake and back....
(warning, civilized people will be traumatized
Cat, swing by tail. (sort of like the blind man looking around the bar)Merry to Pippin: The big one; The BIG One
You are a Katrina refuge carrying your tent rolled up around the sticks and stakes...
Music stand, microphone stand, dressed for either playing or karaoke night...
Chinese coolie, 2 heavy buckets and the yoke stick over the shoulders...
Hobo... that stick over the shoulder probably wasn't just for carrying that little bag now was it?
Mundane sports equipment (no quiddich equipment allowed!) - bat, golfclub, lacross stick, hocky stick, hammer for hammer throw, or go for broke and take up the javeline... or archery... Practice everywhere...
Increase your excercise and perform a public service on your walks. Carry and use a weed whip or even a billjack or weedhook on the right of ways. Get official sanction and a sign reading:
"This mile of trail maintained by JoJins Kungfu Yard Service" or something more appropriate.
The proper aura could be enhanced by sticking to oriental style tools, and performing all insect extermination with chopsticks...
Darken your skin (assuming you need it, and assuming this joke does not get me kicked out of here), run a bone thru your nose and carry your lion spear and large oval leopardskin shield. You will be covered by diversity laws, if not much clothing....
Dress for the rennaisance fair. Go for either little john and quartstaff or the full jousting outfit...
Survey Crew...
Long knee brace for the old football injury that clips off and snaps straight in a snap...
5 foot stick, massive spiked ball on the end. If accosted, explain that mace IS TOO legal in your state!
Become a Cutco dealer. You are always going to or from a demo... Be ready with the spiel...
One word: backscratcher... Ok, 2 words: BIG Backscratcher... Ballooo?
Envision the king of the lemurs in Madagascar in the crashed plane. How did he control the fingers?
Get active with local politics. Hammer, long sticks, posterboard, you fill in the blanks!
Around here there are always yardsale signs that need to go up or down.
Your troop never goes anywhere without the banner! (no, not the big green guy)
Metal detector... Search for coins and rings everywhere you go!
Bassoon..... Or those swiss things....
Long Bar Chainsaw. Why settle for anything less? If a bloody one can make it through customs... Keep it in good working order. Remember both Stitch (oh good, my doggie found the chain saw) and Thunderdome. Flannel shirts will help with this one, just watch out for what kind of bars you hang around in...
Take up whittling. Always have with you a just started continous chain or series of balls in cages. The big ones, not the ones made from #2 pencils...
anyway, I am almost sorry to have hijacked the thread, but the lunch hour sure went fast....
- Joined
- Apr 27, 1999
- Messages
- 6,117
You could probably go around town with a bow as long as you were carrying target or field point arrows. You would probably be stopped by the department of wildlife if you had broadheads or hunting blunts. This leads me to a couple of urban bow and arrow stories.
When I was a lad there was a neighbor girl who thought that she was Robin Hood (well maybe she was Belphebe from Spencer's Faerie Queen). OK, she probably wasn't dillusional, but she did like to get into character. Anyway she would roam the streets of Pasadena in doublet and hose carrying a longbow with a quiver full of arrows. I like to think that they were broadheads, but I never asked.
Another friend in Pasadena had problems with vandals killing chickens and rabbits that his mother kept caged in the backyard. He was only 15 at the time and would have gotten in trouble if he shot one of the buggers with his homemade silenced Man From Uncle pistol/carbine. What he did was to keep his hunting bow strung on a rack by his bedside. The bow quiver had a couple hard rubber blunts and a couple broadheads. One night he heard the gang out in the backyard. He rolled out of bed and nocked a blunt to his string. When he hit the outdoor lights some guys started to scatter. He knocked one down with a blunt to the thigh (gave him the world's worst charlie horse). He pulled out his P14 Enfield bayonet with the 17-inch blade and poked it towards the guy on the ground and told him that the next time he'd be using broadhead arrows. They never had problems again. Of course he also started to openly do target practice with his silenced carbine in his driveway. The gangs in the neighborhood started avoiding his side of the street.
When I was a lad there was a neighbor girl who thought that she was Robin Hood (well maybe she was Belphebe from Spencer's Faerie Queen). OK, she probably wasn't dillusional, but she did like to get into character. Anyway she would roam the streets of Pasadena in doublet and hose carrying a longbow with a quiver full of arrows. I like to think that they were broadheads, but I never asked.
Another friend in Pasadena had problems with vandals killing chickens and rabbits that his mother kept caged in the backyard. He was only 15 at the time and would have gotten in trouble if he shot one of the buggers with his homemade silenced Man From Uncle pistol/carbine. What he did was to keep his hunting bow strung on a rack by his bedside. The bow quiver had a couple hard rubber blunts and a couple broadheads. One night he heard the gang out in the backyard. He rolled out of bed and nocked a blunt to his string. When he hit the outdoor lights some guys started to scatter. He knocked one down with a blunt to the thigh (gave him the world's worst charlie horse). He pulled out his P14 Enfield bayonet with the 17-inch blade and poked it towards the guy on the ground and told him that the next time he'd be using broadhead arrows. They never had problems again. Of course he also started to openly do target practice with his silenced carbine in his driveway. The gangs in the neighborhood started avoiding his side of the street.
