Hephaestos,
1, I take my blades to 120 grit on the grinder before HT and .040'' thick at edge. I have gone higher and even hand sanded before and see no diff, just more work.
You can't grind off the hamon but can lose some of the activity if heavy stock removal is done after. A healthy bit of steel should be removed after HT though, I grind to almost sharp, then start hand sanding.
2, I leave the blade in the oil for 8 to 10 seconds, then scrap the clay off and clean up with a 120 belt. if I like what I see, it goes into the oven for temper. If I don't like, I re-clay and go back to the forge.
Richard, most of the time, the clay will stay on my blades but it doesn't really matter if some blows off in the quench.