"What about Bob?"

Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Scarman

BANNED
Joined
Oct 6, 1999
Messages
553
Has anyone read this article in the newest Blade? I found it very interesting and a bit sad that this gentleman had to hide his hobby from his wife. I understand that some spouses are a bit skeptical about blades and the collection of such,(mine is a good example) but to have to lock them up in a case in the trunk of a car in order to keep marital bliss is a bit extreme.
I can't see putting that much money into knives and not being able to enjoy them. I understand for some people just owning them is enough but I am a user and that just escapes me.
I like the way his friends handled it after he passed away. Very good ending to a somewhat sad story.
How would y'all handle this?
Personally, I don't discuss my purchases unless it is a big ticket item. I would never lock my beauties away though, I have to use them, fondle them and at times show them off.

------------------
The bible is not such a book a man would write if he could, or could write if he would.

*Lewis S. Chafer

2 Tim 3:16
 
A man is a man is a man - ONLY if he chooses
to wear long pants. I don't feel sorry for
a guy who hides his passion (in this case,
knives) from a wife who may not approve.
If he's routinely met the normally
accepted standards of financial responsibility to the marriage, then he has
only to contend with his wife's, perhaps,
stronger personality.
 
You should see all the damn shoes my wife has!Atleast 75 pairs!Not kidding!!
Jay
 
Stihl,

I can relate.

Shivey,

You have a point. However if his wife was like mine(only worse I am sure) I can understand his motivation. However, I will not hide my knives. If it comes to that then one of us will have to go.....
wink.gif


------------------
The bible is not such a book a man would write if he could, or could write if he would.

*Lewis S. Chafer

2 Tim 3:16
 
Hey Scarman - I can relate! I don't get any
grief for my hobbies; but then, I don't give
my wife any grief about her hobby: sewing.
She has easily ammassed $40,000 worth of
computerized sew. machines, accessories,
and fabrics.
 
Gentleman, please, a marriage is a partnership for life. This has two very important implications:

First, there can be no keeping of secrets. The man "Bob" is only postponing the inevitable and making the situation much worse. Not only is he deliberately doing something he knows his wife doesn't approve of, but he's deliberately hiding it from her. The thing that will hurt her more and more deeply is not that he bought these knives, but that he hid them from her, that she can not trust him to at least be open with her. He is the most important thing in her life and she needs to be able to trust him.

Second, a marriage is not about who has more stuff, how shoes compare to knives, who spends more on what. A marriage is a partnership where you work for a common good.

Both partners in the marriage must understand that other may have interests that are not necessarily shared. The classic case is the man who just simply has to watch every football game, who lives and breaths football, who can tell you every player's stats, but who's wife has no interest at all. She, on the other hand, probably has some interests that he does not share. This is fine and healty as long as each keeps the other and the common good in mind.

Each spouse should allow the other some time, some space, some money to pursue his/her unique interests. Each spouse is also responsible to control and moderate his/her own interests and activities. Neither should take advantage of the other's tollerance.

At the same time, each spouse should realize that the other's interests and activities are important to that person. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Try to take some interest in your spouse's interests so that you can be supportive and complimentary.

Finally, of course, a man is the head of the marriage. When there is a problem or a dispute, it is ultimately he who must decide contentious issues. Of course, he must do this in a loving way. With his position as the ultimate head of the marriage comes the ultimate responsibility (before God) for the success of the marriage and family and for his wife's happiness.

And that from the consummate bachelor.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and swill my OJ from the pitcher, throw my laundry on the floor, and make sure the toilet seat is UP.



------------------
Chuck
Balisongs -- because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!
http://www.4cs.net/~gollnick
 
Gollnick,

I agree a marriage is a partnership and there should be almost no secrets, but let's be honest here, how many people, male or female are "completely" open and honest with their mates. "Yes honey, you do look fat in those pants" "Yes dear, your hair is receding" "Honey, the guys and I are going to the strip club" "Oh these shoes, yes they were very expensive" and the list goes on.
I speak only of my wife when I say that some things are better left unsaid. I would never encourage others to withhold or lie. To each his own.
That being said, you can be honest without being "honest". Is it wrong, probably, but look at the alternative.

------------------
The bible is not such a book a man would write if he could, or could write if he would.

*Lewis S. Chafer

2 Tim 3:16
 
it was very sad the way Bob chose to live. A marriage is a partnership. My wife doesnt share my interest in knives(she once had some interest going to shows with me,but after a bad experience with an ass with a knife she is turned off to them), but there is no reason for me to hide them. Now, I dont flaunt them in front of her, and knowing her feelings, I dont flick one open and closed while we're sitting together out of respect to her feelings. I do play with them while watching TV alone or whatever, and she has no problem with me collecting, but why would I thrust it in her face if I know how she feels? She's my partner, and we respect each other's feelings.
And she spends her share collecting Precious Moments,candle holders and teddy bears,
smile.gif
.
Oh, and she hasnt given back her Polkowski
Hang Tight Neck knife or her Yellowhorse trapper.

------------------
lifter
Phil. 4:13

Dave
Wharton,NJ


 
Gollnick,

You were doing good until you got to:
Finally, of course, a man is the head of the marriage.
Click to expand...

Marriage is an equal partnership. You can't have that if one partner is more equal than the other. Nobody has to be "boss."

I also agree with Scarman that it's best to leave some things unsaid. One of those things is the price of the knives I buy.

My wife and I have had some arguments in our time (12th wedding anniversary coming up next month), and the biggest have been over money -- specifically her spending of it. But, we've worked through those problems. Nowadays, I just figure that if she spends $150 on candles, well that just means there's a Spyderco Centofante Jr., or maybe a GT California Special, or maybe both, in my future.

Dave

------------------
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of More Knives

 
I'll not comment on poor ol' Bob and how he has to play with his toys. I'm no expert on marriage (my 3rd--this last one for 20 yrs), but I am blessed with an understanding wife. I don't question her toys and she doesn't question mine. She knew when we met that I loved knives, guns, cigars, plus anything I could trade for. Of course, I had to go through two previous ones before I found "the right one".
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top