What do you guys do in this situation?

I had an agreement with my ex-wife.................whatever I spent on things I wanted she could also spend the same amount on an item or items she wanted. So if I spent $200 I knew it would cost us $400 because she could also spend $200 on whatever she wanted. It worked for us.
 
I set my booze money aside, or work extra hours, or sell other knives/ guitar gear to pay for my knives. If anyone has a problem with it, I just kindly take their chirping and buy the damn knife anyway :D.
 
We budget our expenses to cover all the necessities and agreed upon savings. After that, the extras can go to whatever we want.

I keep my account and she keeps hers out side of our savings and our SHTF emergency fund. Even though they're joint accounts, we don't get into each other's account. If I want something, I watch how I spend my money for a while and save up. Also, we've agreed to never carry over a CC charge for our "fun" money expenses.

We talked about this before we got married and she understands what I need when it comes to my hobbies. I don't abuse her trust and I trust her to never spend beyond her budget. It's worked well for 8 years and we've never had a fight over money.

It's one of the few smart things I've ever done in my marriage. :)
 
just tell her to be happy you're spending it on knives instead of lap dances :)

edit to add - YES, i have been divorced, but only once :)
 
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As long as you have your bills paid and are eating regularly, (pulling your share of the load) I don't see how it's anyone's concern how someone spends the money they earn. I'd never have a close relation with anyone so controlling.
 
snorkem said:
in my case it is my parents,
...
keep convincing and keep telling this person or persons that u really are serious about knives, and remember all the while to tell them your not a serial killer, because really i get that a lot.
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In regard to parents this could be the wrong strategy - because my parents tend to worry that knives are some kind of... an "obsession" for me.

So I tell them that the knives are tools.. and that i have fun using them. (the truth) I dont want them to become some kind of addiction or false god and this usually works to take their worries (in addition to their knowledge that i have the money i spend)

I guess they wouldnt agree to have switchblades or really large fighters in they're home but besides that they would have let me spend my money as i wanted to. (i moved out 2 yrs ago and i dont have stuff like that (yet? i'm thinking about a kukri right now :D)).


One thing: Are they serious when they're telling you that you seem like a serial killer? If so I'd start thinking about that... (could get unpleasant if someelse who doesnt know you that well would think the same..)

s_f
 
I try to make her feel as guilty as possible first, about some of her recent purchases like shoes, jewellery and hair stuff. Then when I have her feeling like she needs to spoil me a bit, I tell her that what would make me really happy is......
 
CutleryMaster62 said:
Most of us have encountered this problem before. You want to buy a new knife but you have to approve everything with your with your wife, girlfriend, significant other, or in some cases, your parents. So, how do you go about convincing them to let you buy another one even though you already have a one or more?

TTAWR! (Thanks to all who reply!)
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Brother I feel sorry for you. Grow a set and get a life !

Get approval ? Really ? Are they giving you the Money ? If not ... WTF?
 
I buy the knife, wear it and let her find out, if that thing was new or not? Funny, how long it takes sometimes.

If i feel so, she gets something nice for her too.
 
First off it's a girlfriend, she has no say what you buy and spend your money on. If your girlfriend doesn't understand that you like knives, guns or anything for that matter and like to spend your money on it then she has to walk. Don't change and be someone your not and not buy what you like to save her feelings, in time you will hate her for it and all you will do is fight and argue thus breaking up anyway.

As for a wife? That's a bit different, you married her and must respect her and her feelings. She must also remember that she married you and that you like knives and so on, if these things make her unhappy then she should not have married you in the first place.

If you are still living with your parents, you absolutely must respect their decision to not have these items in their house. That's just the way it is, if you don't like their rules while living under their roof then move out. Plain and simple, move out and get your own place or with a friend and have your own rules.

I'm very lucky that my wife and I not only get along very well but she also respects that this is what I like and this is what I want to own. She doesn't carry a knife or a gun but she can and does use mine when we are out. She loves training and spending time out in the woods and mountains. She buys what she wants and I don't question it and I am able to buy what I want without any questions. Thank god we like all the same things. You won't see her shopping for designer clothes and sunglasses. She likes all outdoor clothing and has a North face or Maxpedition bag instead of some designer handbag. You'll never see her in high heels, she prefers a pair of Merrill Trail shoes. I'm sure that having the business that I do and sell what I do helps considerably.

I understand that saying (writing) it is easier than doing it, but if your significant other doesn't like the fact that you like knives, guns and other gear then maybe you should look at moving on. it's not going to be easy and in time will cause many issues in your relationship.

best of luck my friend.

-Tim
 
if you make your own money & have satisified your family & finanicial obligations then what you do is your own business.
 
Two bucks a day into a jar, more or less.

When you have enough for something you want, empty the jar. (As I am sixteen and without an income, and my parents didn't notice when I got a Spyderco Kiwi...this may be different for some of you.)
 
The Plant Engineer gave me some great advice when I was stressed over some small details of a large project: "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission"
 
I think we scared the OP off:eek:,not the answers he was looking for.I don't have them either.My wife came into this marriage,long ago,knowing about my knife addiction.Bottom line is,the bills get paid,food gets put on the table,kids college tuition is paid,I want a knife,I buy it,no problems!:p:D
 
Money is for spending...it serves no other purpose.

Once you have all of the priorities covered, it is up to you (and others who are entitled to the use of that money) to decide where the rest goes (Bank, coffee, dinner, shoes, knives, whatever).

It is critical to define PRIORITIES responsibly. "Need vs. want" is a starting point, but not an ending point.
 
I take care of the budget - I know how much 'mad' money is available. It really is simple. Also, I discuss most larger hobby purchases with her - we are a 'team' - harnessed by the 'yoke' of marriage. Going in our separate ways would result in little forward movement. As an example - I stopped at a store and showed her a CRK Umnumzaan - then, I showed her the one I wanted on the 'net. It was cathartic for both of us. She approved - and I finally convinced myself that it was okay to spend that much money on one stinking knife!. Honesty, above all else, is the answer.

Of course, a side shoot here is that, when quizzed in the future about a new knife's cost, I can honestly say, "Oh that little thing? Gee, I've spent a lot more than it cost on a single knife before!". That will be true if I keep the CRK for a day before selling it - or my grandkids inherit it! There is method to my madness.

Stainz
 
I'll echo Tim's (TKAZ) sentiment above - each relationship is different and should be handled as such. The only thing I will add is that you should always take care of necessities first. That makes any future accountability or agreement much easier to manage.

For myself, I support 5 off my single income so I try to save a little here and there to buy what I want with cash - always. I think it's good to have a hobby as long as it doesn't become an obsession that takes way from things that matter.
 
+1 for TKAZ.

The number one cause for the breakup of relationships I believe is still financial disagreement. Yep it's what broke mine up after 21 years. She never understood my toys even though she parked her brand new minivan in two brand new houses that held her designer purses and shoes. I tried to out spend on her what I spent on toys and it caused nothing but stress.

If this is parents that's a whole nuther game but if it's a significant other I suggest as others have already said get it out in the open now and agree how to handle it or part ways. It is a deal breaker that can haunt your whole marriage.
 
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