What films to allow when?

Tim-Gabz

Tim-Gabz

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Nov 24, 2003
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My friends think children should not watch main news or anything worse than super heroes until 15. They follow the line of the kids will remember it and go wally later in life.

My sons, 7 and 12, do get to watch some of the Terminator films with us and it has only got them asking about science. I will allow my eldest to watch hard life films with us. I believe that they should not be kept away from some of the nastier side of life and and that they need to have it explained and why it is necessary to stand for your beliefs and friends earlier than later. He is fast becoming aware of events in the world.

My friends believe that the heroes and easy stories are still necessary that children are not able to handle more than this. I believe that these films create the perception that there will always be some hero to save the day and it detracts from the acts of day to day heroes. It dehumanizes events and places them “over there”. It allows teenagers to be unaware of real life pit falls. “Kill Bill” and stylized violence is really, really-really off our lists.

I lived in a time before Zimbabwe and the war was always down played, the war was an adventure.. I recall the cold/hot horror of realizing the full truth when it came to our doorstep when I was 14. I am still very cynical.

We fled Zimbabwe and their Granny is still there. There is constant chat at their school over the worsening crisis as many of the children and parents are Zimbabwean. So there is often a Q&A that goes on in the evening with the news. I try to show them the power of individual works, evil is inherently self destructive and that things go in cycles.

I don't have answers for the violence in South Africa

What about documentaries on Vietnam, WW2 and Israel, (my eldest loves the tactical side of it ) but I really just don’t how to bring in the reality of the inglorious suffering to a 12 year old without upsetting him? (as far as sex goes he is still on the Lego/pocket knife phase of life)

Views advice or comments?
 
My father took me to see "The Green Berets" when I was 8, this was when it first came out in theaters and for the time was pretty explicit and gory. I think I turned out normal despite the experience.

So much depends on the child. If my child was plagued with nightmares I would keep them away from horror movies and such till the were old enough to handle them. Same with some of the gorier action films such as "We Were Soldiers". As far as those showing sex (r rated) when they are old enough to understand those things they are probably not going to be scarred by them in movies.
 
My father took me to see "Killing Fields" I saw it again last week decades later. Same chill as when I was a kid. I believe that I am, by my own standards, still normal.

I have two fears, too little exposure to reality and the other frightening them. The kids know when I am anxious and lying. How to relate Zimbabwe, the horrific murders and their Granny's home. She should be safe, but I was in Burundi some 12+ years and things can flash flare.

Thank God that Botswana is very stable and apart from terrible driving deaths one of the safest countries in the world.
 
Tim-Gabz said:
My friends believe that the heroes and easy stories are still necessary that children are not able to handle more than this. I believe that these films create the perception that there will always be some hero to save the day and it detracts from the acts of day to day heroes. It dehumanizes events and places them “over there”.
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I read an interesting article -- sorry, can't remember where -- just in the last day or two wherein the author asserts that the inability of the average person to be a hollywood/comicbook hero -- whether endowed with super powers or just an especially heroic person -- and to "save the world" and the resulting feeling of inadequicy and failure may leave young people vulerable to radicalized religion and similar groups. "If I can't save the world by stopping the incoming meteor with my X-Ray vision, at least I can save the world from sin and corruption by blowing myself up in a market somewhere."

Furthermore, these super heros and hollywood heros tend to live in worlds created by fictional writters where good and evil and right and wrong are very black and white. Constant exposure to such fictional worlds can lead to a very polarized view of the real world as young people try to overlay the movie or comicbook world on the real world and apply the "lessons learned" in those fictional worlds to the real world.

So, while super heros -- hollywood and fictional heros in general -- and the world are a fun, fantasy escape for a couple of hours, constant exposure may not be the best idea.
 
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When to let kids watch certain types of videos? It all depends on your convictions about it, first of all; secondly it depends on the maturity level of the kid.

We go to a website we found that reviews any show we want to rent or take our family to. It's pretty conservative, down to stating the approximate number of swear words in the film, but it also explains the context. It helps us decide what we want to watch.

We learned the hard way that we need to screen ALL movies before our son watched them. Even some of the children's movies we rented were way over the top as far as the conduct of some of the characters.

thx - cpr
 
orca8589 said:
We learned the hard way that we need to screen ALL movies before our son watched them. Even some of the children's movies we rented were way over the top as far as the conduct of some of the characters.
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I remember seeing "Harry & The Henderson's" as a teen. A few months later our pastor was having a youth night and had rented it. One scene in particular used a "GD" and I had told him that I would fast forward through it. I was very surprised when we finally sat down to watch it how profane it was.

A physician I work with said that when his kids were growing up he never had any problems allowing them to see nudity or sexual situations in film because it was natural human experience. He could rationally explain it to them. He did refuse to let view any horror films that were excessively gory. He felt that they emotional traumatized children and early teenagers and that explaining that it was fake still didn't relieve the anxiety it created.
 
M. McCord - I remember Harry & the Hendersons, but too far back for me to remember any dialog. The movie that really through us for a loop was The Road To El Dorado - the little indian girl, (pre-pubescent? It seemed so . . . ) scantily dressed, acting all slinky & sultry - my wife & I both couldn't believe it. The producers had pushed for a G rating, IIRC, but the ratings people insisted on PG. It was still being debated when it was released to theaters.

I can handle & ignore most things in movies, but knowing my son would see some of this stuff in even "G" rated movies was too much.

thx - cpr
 
I'm 50 and the youngest of three and my folks let us watch everything that came down the pike. I remember one night in Oregon me and my brothers had gone to bed and an episode of Outer Limits came on and the guy on tv said "send your children to bed, don't let them watch this!", and my Pop hollered at all three us to get up and come watch the show, lol! I'll never forget that!!!!! :D
One time in England we drove for a couple hours to go to the movies to see Frankenstien and the assholes at the theater wouldn't let me and my brothers in. They said it was too harsh for kids. Man that made my Pop mad!
I think if I had kids I'd let em watch pretty much what they wanted to except porn, real wicked horror flicks, (kids got enough stuff to be scared of), and anything with rap music in it! :D
 
One occasion I got a free video with a large order of Pizzas. Being on the way home I snatched the first one that looked fun.

While I was readying the pizzas the kids slipped it in the machine and suspicious howls of laughter arose. After the "Jack Ass" incident I am a whole lot more careful reading lables.


I got caught recently allowing him to buy a spanish (dubbed over) folklore tale (in kiddies section), since I couldn't read the spanish at the back it looked good. It was a casually brutal fairy tale set in the Spanish civil war. It was a case of wow, did those things really happen and I sat with him with the Purnell series of WW2 and on the internet researching mythology and modern, safe, Spain. I was surprised at how mature he was.

My eldest is very sensitive and bright, I don't swear (much) as it upsets him, he is also not afraid to take a cricket bat to an intruder. A naked loveydovey scene has him making toast. He is not ready for it so we don't.

What sites are good on checking videos.
 
My 10 year old daughter has enjoyed the Clint Eastwood R-rated spaghetti westerns from the 60's. No problems there. Although there are R-rated films I wouldn't let her watch yet.

You know your kid. Watch the shows with them and talk about things if there's questions or something they don't understand. You'll also be able to gauge reactions and stop the movie if needed. (or skip a scene.). Can be a good bonding and talking time.

Phil
 
IMDB has most every studio backed movie listed out there, some that weren't stuiod backed. They also have a section where you can find what rating the movie had. There are discussion boards for each movie, actor etc, but not much information on the particular movie being okay for your kids to watch.
 
Thanks IMDB will be my next step. There is just so much junk and Rap brainwashing attitudes into kids. I think that much of the problem is the parents themselves and movies don't inspire kids to go out and whak their colleagues at school.

Pity about my kids liking Power Rangers. That caused bruising of kids and their plastic swords, but only the first time.
 
orca8589 said:
M. McCord - I remember Harry & the Hendersons, but too far back for me to remember any dialog.
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Towards the end they take harry to the moutains and the family all put on "harry shoes" to make tracks. The little french dude hunting harry sees the tracks and says "it's GD herd". That's the one I remembered and was all set to fast forward. Too bad I didn't remember all the other GDs spread out in the flick.
 
Too bad I didn't remember all the other GDs spread out in the flick.

Ohhh man does that drive me crazy!!!!
Even on regular tv channels now, they bleep out words like shit, bitch, or asshole but they don't bleep gd.
 
I know just how you feel Tim.I grew up with Springbok radio and never even saw a TV until I was 12.(Did you have Springbok radio in Zim?)
When we wanted to see a film at home my Dad would go down to the movie hire shop and we would get a 16mm projector, set it up and have a whole family night. The movies I remember seeing where westerns, war and thrillers. By and large the movies from the 60's and 70's were still very innocent(although often "cut" here in SA) and not to graphic.I do remember seeing 'Towering Inferno" and that gave me nightmares!

It scares me to think of the crap the kids are exposed to now online and at the movies. As for telling them about the crime in SA and the politics of Zim.....
You are a brave man to go there... i would not know what to say....:confused:
 
There used to be a naughty joke over TV when South Africa was getting it in '75.

"South Africa is going coloured whilst Rhodesia is remaining Black and White"

I use to listen to Radio Jacaranda but Springbok was a fav when travelling to South Africa. I remember "Towering Inferno" being shown at Salt Rock in @'77.

South Africa is not looking healthy, setting fire to Zimbabweans and with the opposition leader pulling out of the Zim election, we lost access to a huge investment fund today and they, and others are pulling out of South Africa before the Reserve Bank makes further emergency restrictions on foreign currency.
 
"Towering Inferno" I saw by sneaking in with my girlfriend of @11 when I was 12. It was really not a good move. Although her idea I took the heat for her nightmares for the rest of the holiday. (I didn't admit to mine)
 
We use the recommendations of family and friends, knowing the family and friends... As a backup, Plugged-In is a good conservative Christian review system that lays it all out for you to judge.

We have five kids and it's as much about the kid as it is the film. My oldest read the LOTR books when he was 10-11 so we let him start watching the films with us. My 9-year-old son won't be ready for those for a while longer, tho. It's kind of funny, but the violence of "R" movies isn't really an issue as long as it's relevant (War movies, Kung-Fu, etc...) it helps the kids understand why we don't want war or shouldn't fight. Sex and nudity is a whole 'nother issue.

J-
 
I made and kept a video clip of a freeway sealed off to emergency services. There was a large scene from "The Taxi Wars", The cassavak by helicopter that we, as a family, watched unfold. Taxi (minibus) wars are endemic and frequently settled with AK47 (not the cold steel one).

My son has it on his PC and watches it occasionally.
 
Tim-Gabz said:
There used to be a naughty joke over TV when South Africa was getting it in '75.

"South Africa is going coloured whilst Rhodesia is remaining Black and White"

I use to listen to Radio Jacaranda but Springbok was a fav when travelling to South Africa. I remember "Towering Inferno" being shown at Salt Rock in @'77.

South Africa is not looking healthy, setting fire to Zimbabweans and with the opposition leader pulling out of the Zim election, we lost access to a huge investment fund today and they, and others are pulling out of South Africa before the Reserve Bank makes further emergency restrictions on foreign currency.
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No things are not good... In the past 3 weeks since the attacks on immigrants I have spoken to 3 families I am close to who have all decided to leave.
One close friend who was hijacked 3 weeks ago in Constantia and shot in both arms for his ML350....he ironed out one jacker with his NAA 22mag at point blank range. I fetched him from the hospital. Since then 2 spare mags for my G17 goes everywhere with me and we are back to pre-94 paranoia here in Cape Town!!:barf:
He employes 200 in his business and he has decided to go ASAP...
All my friends are highly educated late 30's early 40's with phenomenal experience. One friend was offered a job in Toronto with visa's etc in place in 6 weeks... He has a particular I.T. specialty. SA is loosing it's intellectual skills quickly. The ANC youth league are not making things any easier.... I fear that any hope of good governance is rapidly disappearing.
I have never been to Gabz what is it like? Crime...etc?
 
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