What Knife Would You Use? (humor)

C

Chris Keller

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Ok.

You are in the middle of the Mojave Desert and a flying saucer lands about 100 yards away. The door of the saucer opens. The aliens inside tell you that you must fight, armed with a knife, two opponents.

Out of the door comes two furious animals and they want to kill you.

The first one is a totally pissed off, 18-foot cock. (A rooster the size of a tyrannosaur, weighing in at about 6 tons).

The second one is a toy poodle, about 10 feet tall at the shoulder and weighing around 7,000 pounds. Snarling with a ribbon in its hair. It also has fleas the size of bumblebees.

Which knife would you pick? It has to be less than 20 inches in blade length.

Chris
 
I would use whatever knife had the built-in communicator so that I could call scotty and have him beam me up.
 
I would repel them with a hideous Pakistani knife. Or maybe actually fight them off with a Kershaw Chive.
 
I would just show them my bills from recent knife purchases. They would have pity on me knowing that they couldn't really hurt me any further.
:D
 
My Himalayan Imports 18" AK or 18" Chitlangi. One has more power, the other more speed. Either one packs a big wollup.
 
I'd want a Leatherman Flair. After you're done dispatching Big Bird and Fluffy, those aliens might have some interesting wine that needs opening.
 
I'd shoot 'em in the forehead with my .50 Desert Eagle.:D.:D.

Oh...A knife? Well, this isn't EXACTLY a "knife", either, but at least it is sharp and has a point at the end; My Cold Steel Gurkha Kukri...I think that the Kukri would work very well in seperating their head from the rest of their body.:).
 
definitely a small folder with a well rounded handle so it hurts less when said beasts insert the knife up my rectum in a very painful and unlubed sorta fashion...
 
I would want my Victorinox Alien Cock and Poodle Survival Knife.

You know the one...
It's the one with the secret compartment containing birdseed and and T-bone steak.:D
 
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